Create an atmosphere of positive reinforcement. Encourage and praise healthy reactions and healthy behaviors rather than criticizing anxiety symptoms and fears.

Accept where your spouse is at the present time and measure improvement from there, rather than setting goals of behaviors based on where you believe they should be. Make goals specific and realistic.

Keep communication open. Talk with your spouse about their anxiety and how they feel during a panic or anxiety attack. Rather than assuming you know how they feel and what they need, discuss it with them so the support you are offering is welcome.

Talk with the therapist about your role in treatment and what you can do to help. Know when it is appropriate to push and when it is appropriate to let go.

Be patient, a person will not recover from anxiety overnight. Although recovery can be a long road, it is worth it in the end.

Helping Yourself

Find support for yourself. Look for a local support group or find an online support group or forum. Being the spouse of someone with mental illness can be exhausting and emotionally draining. Maintaining a network of people offering you support can give you the strength you need.

Maintain friendships and social activities. There may be times when your spouse is not able to participate in social events or get together with friends. It is easy for a spouse to fall into a routine of making their spouse and family their only source of social interaction. It is important, however, for you to maintain your friendships and activities you enjoy. Taking time away from your relationship can give you a much-needed break and reinvigorate yourself to keep going.

Expect setbacks in recovery. Setting goals is an important part of recovery. However, there will be times your spouse will experience a setback or not make the progress you are expecting. This is normal. If you expect this to happen, it will not seem as devastating when it does. Make sure goals are realistic.

Attend therapy for yourself or as a couple, if needed. Sometimes, your emotional health suffers or the stress of living with a mental illness is more than you can deal with. Your emotional health and well-being is important too. In order to maintain this, you may need to seek therapy for yourself or you may need to incorporate couples therapy into treatment so that your relationship has the chance to improve and succeed.

References:

“Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Its Impact on Relationships – National Survey Key Findings”, 2004, Anxiety Disorder Association of America

“What Are the Most Common Causes of Divorce?”, 2005, DivorceReform.com

“Non Verbal Communication”, 2006, Dr. Allan N. Schwartz, MentalHelp.net

“When Your Partner Has an Anxiety Disorder”, 2005, Anxiety Disorders Association of America

“When Your Spouse Has a Mental Illness: Coping Strategies”, 1998, California Alliance for the Mentally Ill