Confronting the loss of good health is one of the most valuable aspects of educational support group participation. Time after time individuals who were newly diagnosed patients or parents spoke of their pain and frustration and they were almost always met with compassionate understanding. Talking with mothers who understood the angst of giving a struggling two year old a breathing treatment was medicine for the other parents! Dads admitted to other fathers during the “For Fathers Only” meeting that they initially thought their children would not be able to participate in sports. Appropriate medications gave them the green light to join their peers and gave the Dads reason to cheer.

Ahhhhh…. accommodation or healing is also evident in support groups. There’s the co-leader who had her world knocked off its axis when her son was diagnosed, but has become educated and had the grace to offer a newly-shocked parent a welcoming hug. Yes, grief has occurred, but healing has taken its place.

Grief is a powerful teacher. It prompts us to recognize hidden strengths and to treasure the gifts we own, but too often take for granted. It also is the great connector. Don’t you feel a sense of connection with someone when she reveals she has a child with asthma or she takes an inhaler from her purse? Finally, grief is a potent equalizer. And that’s why when people ask about my Kahlua and I tell them what the future holds, they say, “I’m sorry,” and I know they really mean it.

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