Eileen, this is a great post, capturing the ambiguity of what a diagnosis brings, positive and negative, for children or teens who in the past might have been considered "quirky" or a "geek" but with today's diagnostic instruments could be classified on the spectrum.  Interestingly, your point about the long-term impact of a diagnosis for employ-ability was raised by John Robison at an NIH committee last week on different ethical and legal issues relating to autism and autism research.  He pointed out that what is helpful at a young age in terms of getting services and supports can be detrimental later on, and in fact, he mentioned the armed forces in particular.  Here are some of the points he made in his .ppt slides on the topic:

- For children, diagnosis is usually necessary to gain access to critical services.

- For adults, an opposite situation may prevail. A diagnosis may subject adults to higher insurance rates, exclusion from employment, etc.

- An on the record diagnosis may be a godsend for parents of a child, but a curse for autistic adults who are trying to make their own way.

- If diagnosis is done as part of a study, should it become part of the medical record?

-Should adults be able to keep an autism diagnosis private? (not in record)

These are difficult issues, compounded I'm sure for a teenager with all that age and high school brings.  I hope you continue to get the sense that your current decision to hold off on an official diagnosis is, for now, the right one.