Just the other day, a middle aged fellow approached me and said, "I think I might have Asperger's. Do you think there is any point to my getting tested, or am I too old?"

I looked at him as I pondered the true meaning of his question.

"You do look pretty old," I said. "But I'll bet you could still take a test. Maybe they even have a simplified version you could try." I tried to look encouraging, but I'm not too good at stuff like that.

"That's not what I meant," he said with an annoyed tone. "I was wondering if getting tested would serve any purpose!"

Now that his meaning was clear I gave his new question a bit more thought. Why do people get tested for neurological differences like Asperger's or autism?

Kids get tested when they don't do what's expected. For example, a tyke who doesn't talk when grownups think he should gets tested. A kid who never looks at people gets tested. There is this presumption in our society that all kids should talk and look at people, and woe to the toddler who fails to comply.

Later on, kids who fail or struggle in school get tested. There's another presumption in our society that all kids should pass school. So a kid that fails must have something wrong, and the school shrinks test until they find it.

At least, that's what some parents hope. In today's economic climate, schools may resist testing because they don't have any money to provide the services suggested by the tests. But those battles are the subject of another story; another day.

It's probably fair to say that most of the kid testing is initiated by observant grownups. But what if it's not fair? It's still true . . . and that's how it comes to pass, 99% of the time. Kids do not start the process on their own. I have never once heard of a three-year-old saying, "Mommy, can you test me for neurological differences?" In fact, I think it would be nothing short of remarkable to hear a question like that from a kid, even in today's enlightened times.

There are some who say, "There's no such thing as normal!" To those people, every single kid has a diagnosis waiting to be found. I don't know that I fully agree with that, but I do think knowledge is power, and the more you know about yourself, the better off you are.

So then the kids become adults, and the idea of grownups looking out for them goes away. If a kid escapes the test/diagnosis cycle through toddlerhood and his school years, he's pretty much on his own. There is a societal presumption that all teens should pass high school, but there is no presumption that those same teens should pass work, once they are out of school.

If they don't act right at work, they get fired. There's no talk of testing and evaluation. There's no plan for success. There's just depression, anger, and a search for a new job.

Some adults solve their problems, and settle into adult life, career, mate acquisition, kid raising, the whole American Dream routine. Others lose their way, to one extent or another. I am a member of that latter group.