After nearly 18 years of living with Bipolar Disorder, I am now experiencing serious short-term memory loss, and all of the problems that go along with it. I'm not talking about simply forgetting. What I am talking about is not even knowing that you need to remember. For instance, if you tell me to go to the store and get milk, cheese and bread, and I come home with only milk and bread, I just forgot the cheese. However, if I come home with nothing, denying I was to go to the store at all, that is a different problem.
About a year ago, I started losing the words that I wanted to say. Imagine formatting a sentence in your mind, and then placing the words, one at a time, into one of those machines that randomly pops out lottery-number balls one at a time. Then, in attempting to deliver your original statement, you can only speak the words in the order that they come out of the "popper".
In your mind you are perfectly aware of the sentence, but no matter how you try, the words simply don't come out in the proper order. Sometimes by waiting a few seconds, these words are able to be uttered in the right order. Typically what is done is to exchange similar words in the place of the words that can't be spoken. This usually works for me. When this happens, it is very stange; I can see the sentence in my mind very clearly, but I just can't say it.
Now, since this is an issue that involved the brain, is it connected to my bipolar disorder diagnosis? Memory loss is not a symptom of Bipolar Disorder, so the answer would be no. In my case, I have a type of pernicious anemia, where my body can't absorb vitamin B12 through the digestive tract. The symptoms mimic those of dementia, the damage that is done prior to diagnosis is permanent but, with self-administered monthly injections, worsening of the condition is slowed.
Don't blame all of your future ailments on your mental illness. Though there is a possibility there is a connection, assuming this might let the illness go undiagnosed, and therefore untreated.
I struggle with pernicious anemia due to B12 deficiency AND anemia due to low iron ferritin levels.
I can barely remember if I went to the bathroom or not, some days.
Some days are harder than others especially if I haven't slept well, which seems to be many nights here recently. If a stressor peaks it's head up, it makes it worse as well.
Days can actually blend together and hours just disappear, it seems.
Yesterday my older sis came by, with her daughter, and we had lunch that I made and I know... vaguely... that she spoke to me upon entering my home but suddenly, about 20 minutes or so later... I couldn't remember that I spoke to her at all. It was like I saw her for the 1st time.
The reason I said that I vaguely remember is primarily because she, her daughter, and my daughter all told me - practically in unison - that I had spoken to my sister when she first entered the home. THEY told me and so, vaguely, in my mind's eye I sorta remember cause I've tried hard to.
My dad had a Heart Attack and I've spent 3 days up at the hospital and also, with major anxiety, not sleeping well. So yesterday I barely remembered anything... this is what I mean by it worsening when something stressful occurs.
Yet, I know that the memory loss, word recall difficulty, speech and pronounciation butchering, and even typing or hand writing struggle has not a thing to do with the Bipolar. It's the anemia and the seizures and the cognitive impairment I've been diagnosed with at the age of 44.
The meds for the seizures, which double as a mood stabilizer... doesn't help the cognitive and memory issues and in fact... worsen them as well.
It saddens me really... I used to have a solid memory and could multitask and focus fairly well. Even at work, it's starting to affect & effect me... the difficulties and I can have days where I barely get any work completed or, at minimum, completed correctly.
Sorry.. just seeing someone else, with similar issues, posting - kinda opened up the gate a bit. It's not the Bipolar but the Bipolar certainly is not helping the cognitive erosion and degradation of my brain. It just adds to the mental stress of dealing with this seemingly ongoing and chronic additional situation.