A quick journal entry: The main problem I am having recently is that I never know when I am thinking rationally. With a more typical illness, you at least have your mind you can use to know how to cope, and your conclusion is usually correct. When we lose our bearing, and lose track of what "normal" was, or is to us, we're lost.
For instance, say there is a person who instructs you to go from where you are toward Indianapolis, IN, stopping only when you get to the normal distance. Period. Do you think you would ever get to the spot that they consider the "normal distance"?
I have been asked recently to do things to improve my mental health that I just can't do. Then I'm told, "Oh, you mean you won't do it". No. Although I am physically capable of doing these things, it's like my mind won't let me. I wish it were just willpower, because that I might be able to overcome. If I had no legs, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't punt a football. The problem is in his legs; my problem is in my brain.
That reminds me; I wish the person who dreamed up the phrase, "It's all in your head" hadn't. We bipo's, it's all in our heads, but in a totally different way.
Tonight I'm the rambling man. Sorry. Please feel free to respond to my thoughts. Tonight I'm fair game?
