Understanding Recovery: We're Not There Yet

Sue, I am glad you’re out there going to these conferences and being somewhat the voice and ears for us of what takes place there. You talked of three scenarios being played out so that’s the way I will respond.

Scenario one:

What did you really expect from an exec from a major insurance company? We buy insurance hoping to never use it and they sell it hoping that we never need it; it’s all about the bottom line….dollars and cents. If insurance companies had there way, they would try and deny every claim in the mental health area as un-provable, thus not payable. For the longest time there were a lot of insurance companies that didn’t allow for mental illnesses treatment and medications….I know because it happened to me.

Scenario two:

Again it’s pushing ones own agenda…I would guess that an incoming president of a large and prestigious national organization that prides itself on its recovery orientation would speak only of recovery because that’s the business their in…recovery orientation. It would do them no good to keep calling it treatment unless they changed their ideas and slogan to treatment orientation.

These are also the people that feel in order to have a purpose they need to be somewhat better than the people they represent. I agree that the purpose should be to work with the one getting the treatment to take responsibility for their own program and learn to speak up. But I also believe there are times when we are in crisis that someone needs to speak up for us to get the best treatment because we really don’t fully understand what our needs are. One thing that seems to follow a pattern is even in our worst of times; there is always a grain of truth to what were saying.

Scenario three:

The rock star researchers use recovery instead of treatment as a way of saying our way worked. If it continued in the treatment and not recovery, it lessens what these rock stars have accomplished. It’s hard to explain, but I understand where their coming from.

So that brings us too scenario four:

Mine….Recovery starts when that light bulb goes on in our head that’s says we are responsible for our actions, taking our medications and seeking help long before it becomes a crisis. Once we become accountable and responsible for our actions, we are able to make the necessary changes. If it’s not our fault, how can we change it?

Anyone can be in treatment and the majority of the ones that don’t get it expect doctors, therapist, family and friends to be the responsible ones. They are the same ones that self-medicate, use street drugs and point at others or the illness to explain the havoc we have created.

If your sitting there reading this and really want to change, then it needs to start with you. Understand that there are no magic pills that will make everything all better and that it is going to take a lot of work on your end. Understand that stabilizations in their earliest forms are when you actually feel the worst because now those racing thoughts have slowed enough to actually grasp some of the events that have played out and you are not happy with the part you played.

Guilt will get you nowhere, doing what it takes to keep it from happening again is what now counts as a home run in the eyes of the people around you. Remember you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. Once this light bulb becomes lit, even if it is only a light glow….it’s the starting point of recovery.

Keep up the good work Sue!

I was struck by the story of the guy who, while being taken by law enforcement to the nearest hospital, was being driven around by a law enforcement official who had no clue where he was going or where he was at.  While the "patient" was trying to tell him, in the midst of a "crisis", the officer disregarded him as being incompetent basically and in the end, the "patient" decided never to speak up again.

If the gentleman above had heart issues and was being driven, the officer would've gladly (no doubt) taken every bit of direction from the "patient", even while the patient was fuzzy, short of breath, excited, and disoriented (heart symptoms).

What's even worse, to me that is, is when those folks that are fellow strugglers with you also disrespect and disregard you by insisting that you must do exactly what your professional handlers tell you down to the bottom nail because you don't have a clue as to what is even remotely best for you.  While they may be devote followers of their professional staff, and some should by all means, it isn't the religion for everyone.  I've got my stories of idiot professional staff so, I don't blindly devote myself to their every spoken word any longer.  I've been in it way too long.

I do have a mind and I do have a brain.  They do function quite well the majority of the time.  I've done the research, I've asked the questions, I've read actual paper and cardboard binded books on the subject.  I have an educated mind in respect to meds and how they sorta work (due to some college years ago).  I've worked in the health field for nearly 25 years so, got some health knowledge albeit some and have been in the mental health field as patient and worker since wee young.  I also know me better than anyone.  I've lived with me.  

So though I have a mental illness that does rob me of my ability to have a good quality of life for periods of my life, I do have the capability and the ability to say to a psychiatrist or therapist that something they may suggest  "doesn't work for me so let's not go down that path" and I truly expect to be respected and not disregarded.  I get disappointed though, quite often.

My take on one of your scenarios:

Insurance:  I've worked for 2 major insurance companies, one being the largest in the US and I can tell you - it's all about the bottom line.  Mental Health costs money and the longer one has to undergo treatment of any kind, the more money it costs.  Cut down, shrink back, restrict, or diminish benefits and it saves the company so much money to pad their own "reserves".

Recovery to me means improved quality of life.  If my quality of life, that is my ability to live with this illness and everything around me improves because of the improvement of my ability to live with this illness happens, then I'll be able to say "I'm in Recovery".

We lots of empty talk about recovery. DOING recovery - we have our work cut out.

We lots of empty talk about recovery. DOING recovery - we have our work cut out.

Great insight, plus a very interesting read.

The best way I'm finding to begin to debunk people's notion of what being mentally ill means, and what recovery is, is to tell them my own story. When people who know me find out I'm bipolar I invariably get the comment, "I never would've guessed." Yes, while manic or depressed I can often function...well enough to others' eyes, at least. (I've spent 20-odd years perfecting it!) So in that instant of wide-eyed silence when someone finds out my Truth, I figure it's a teachable moment.

I am still fairly new at working towards recovery myself. Your article provides good food for thought on more to be aware of along the way. Thank you!

This article really touched me in so many ways, i am going to try to stay on just ONE of the ways it touched me. AND thank you for posting it....

It seems that the general masses seem to believe that we as bps have this total inability to function as HUMANS period.....it is as if we are another species completely.

REcovery is for healing, and learning coping skills, and taking responsibility for our actions and taking our medications to keep us healthy and help us stay in check with the mood swings (which no, with rapids like me that dont always work either but at least it is an EFFORT and KNOWLEDGE that it does help some). Being mixed mood RAPID and i mean RAPID cycling, well, it is hard to understand how anyone can FULLY recover from this illness....

it is more like it should be called COPING SKILLS and Responsibility for our actions when we fall off the cart per say and do something that is not conducive to our mental health NOT recovery for BP IS LIFELONG ILLNESS>>>>>you'd think all the fancy smancy docs and those you speak of talking to would KNOW that,

and the insurance companies find ways to get out of so much....not even going to that area for look at Katrina disaster and other such incidents across the nation it is PAY US and we'll PROTECT YOU>>>>>UNLESS>>>>.and the unless is unacceptable....if a certified doctor sees that a patient is responding to therapy and medication then they should never be pulled from that program until it is no longer needed or conducive to their healing or coping with life in general.....it should NOT be up to the insurance companies whatsoever for are they there when we are manic???????????....do they see the sleepless nights, feel the heart racing, hands shaking, hallucinations, delusions (which i have almost DAILY and have been on slew of meds, think it is just MY type of BP regardless of what meds the voices have NEVER stopped and been with me for many many years and even have visual and olfactory hallucinations too) but i DEAL>>>>I COPE>>>I HANDLE IT AS best i can from what i've been taught IN TALK THERAPY along with taking my meds as prescribed AND AND AND filling my brain with KNOWLEDGE on the illness, with research, asking questions and knowing my OWN body (although can't always predict swings and mania/depression when it comes, i think that comes with the territory though for even "SANE???" people can't predict the next moment what might cause them stress in their own way)

.....I do not appreciate the indication that we can't be helped with therapy.....HELP simply means making the quality of life better....not CURING the bp....for there IS NO MAGIC PILL JUST AS ERIC SAYS>>>>he is so insightful on some of the things and as JOHN said...we have a long way to go baby....

I can't help but wonder if one of those involved in all these talks could just for ONE SINGLE DAY walk a bit in my shoes and go through the mood swings without forwarning and the INTENSITY at which they overcome me at times, then perhaps, just perhaps, or even if they had a family member going through such illness, would they still be as cold hearted and just plain IGNORANT on the topic???? i think not...

AND having a Masters degree (with a 4.0 by the way) and a bachelors degree (3.9) well, uhm intelligence and KNOWING the illness doesn't create RECOVERY>>>>to me recovery is what you do after a heart surgery or after an illness that GOES AWAY>>>we are COPING, we are DEALING, we are HANDLING as best our minds, hearts and souls can do.....

and i often wonder....are WE the ones in touch with the primitive brain signals and the core brain messages that were given to us for a reason at one point in time that kept humankind ALIVE (now i speak when we are not at the far poles here)

 .....and they have overcome their own touch with that part of the brain by layering it with dollar bills, material things, stigmatism, judgement and total disregard for those not like themselves??????????.....perhaps, just perhaps MORE research will show that bps are more in TUNE with their environment and things such as these kind of "conferences" where the illness is obviously a hurdle for THEIR pocketbooks do not allow them to see past their OWN veil, their OWN skeletons in the closet....who knows....

I do know this and it may not seem to pertain, but think it does for we are constantly learning about the brain, NO ONE can claim to know how it all works, all are theories...but but they just PROVED that even HONEYBEES (i'm an apiarist and love the little things) can recognize and detect face and VOICE of their beekeepers...not just scent but VISUAL>>>>so if they are just finding that out since there have been hundreds of years of beekeeping, what will they discover about bps one day....perhaps just what i said....

MORE IN TUNE>>>although at times we dont' feel like it, could THAT be that we just don't feel we fit in due to ostercization or stigmas or the feeling we need to tie that mask TIGHT in order to just function in this world meant for us ALL>>>> it scares me this mentality.....if you don't know your history on mental illness just google a bit onhow bps were treated HERE IN THE USA during the 1930s and 1940s and yet they want to praise those like Churchill, wonder how many even KNOW he was bp?????????????????

They want to praise the greats that have come from the bp world but send those of us that haven't left our infinite mark on society to the gallows and out of sight out of mind kind of mentality on their part.....

We are unique in our illness, we are strong in our support for each other, we are vast in our knowledge through this site by sharing, a comradery that can't be broken, and although i MUST wear my mask around some, it is a breath of fresh air to have those around me that accept me for who and what i am

....i feel so badly for the man in the police cruiser and can only imagine what it has done to his psyche and his self confidence and most likely added a complex to the whole scenario of bp which we certainly don't need any help adding to the beast.....

BUT Please can someone tell me WHY NO ONE IN THESE CONFERENCES that are SUPPOSED TO BE EXPERTS understand this is a LIFE LONG ILLNESS????????????good grief.

....yet if it were physical i FEEL they'd have no hesitation to deem it so

....it is the unknown and unconcern they display that unfortunately affects all of us with this illness/condition and keeps our closets filled with masks and veils and often wishes for invisibility cloaks.....I am so fortunate to have a therapist, doc, and especially a husband who encourages and takes part in my coping and teaches me to notice and recognize signs coming (which they often see before me for i'm in the throws of it)...AND THIS SITE AND FRIENDS I"VE COME TO KNOW THROUGH HERE!!

I just have little hope that there will ever be acceptance, MUCH hope that together we CAN, and by WE  i mean those of us that KNOW THE ILLNESS>>>>but changing corporate America...uhm ......doubting that one....

YOUR POST was an eyeopener and sorry my response so long, but such a topic really touched me and get this....only touched on a BIT of what i felt about the article you posted....(i know too much writing on my part tehee, but had to get er out!!)

Hope all stay ON HERE for their support and with their therapists and docs and meds and stay aware they are responsible for their own actions regardless of bp state...

THANK YOU AGAIN!!!!!

AND PLEASE KEEP US UPDATED ON PROGRESS!!!!

Sincerely,

ctrygirl