Sue Bergeson
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
So, engage an outside lifeline like my friend did. I wasn't a member of her family, but she knew I am tough and could stand up to nonsense. Not every hospital staff team is bad. Many are very caring and very ethical. But if a bad staff knows someone is watching—even from a distance—it's likely they'll be more careful and attentive. When she handed the phone to me, I made sure she knew I would kick butt, if needed!
- She took names. While on the phone with me, my friend got every staff member's first and last names and made sure they knew I was writing them all down. She checked their name tags against what they told her.
- She refused to take the meds without a thorough explanation. And she knew a lot about medication because she had done her homework before having a crisis. I also called in a favor or two and had another psychiatrist call my friend's nurse and have her walk through the prescriptions to make sure they were reasonable. If we couldn't get someone physically there to offer a second opinion, we did it via phone. Her own psychiatrist should have done this for her. I hope she dumps him when she returns home.
During those kinds of calls/visits your outside lifeline makes, be sure they reinforce the message that we (your outside lifeline and you yourself) will not hesitate to take action if we determine that treatment didn't meet national standards.
And I'd also suggest to you one more thing that you can do right now:
Create an advance directive and take it to your lawyer and your doctor. Every state is different in terms of how legally binding an advance directive is, but if your lawyer and family sign them, you can at least have the appearance of a legal document that the staff must follow. Give copies to your doctor; keep a copy in your purse/wallet and your car so they're handy if needed.
My friend will be fine. She will have to cope with the trauma of her hospitalization, and that will be a long road. Ironic, isn't it, that her hospitalization will make her sicker in the future?
But what isn't fine is the system. What isn't fine are the nurses who talked to her and to me like we were stupid. What isn't fine is the lack of civil liberties for those of us living with mental illnesses. It all makes me want to send yet another letter to my senators and representatives.
How can things change if we don't raise our voices? Your thoughts?
