But I am also learning that the reverse applies. Even when I am the life of the party, I need to be aware that my mind is engaged in an energy-consuming tug of war with my underlying natural introversion. Basically, my little Energizer bunny doesn’t just keep going and going and going.

Perhaps our natural introversion is what saves a lot of us from cycling up into mania. Our motor thankfully runs down before we can get into too much trouble. If we’re smart, we gracefully poop out and go home. Far too many of us, however, resort to artificial power supplies in the form of street drugs and caffeine. Or we foolishly fight off sleep, which is the royal road to a manic episode.

Our compensatory poop-out mechanism may overshoot us into depression. Keep in mind bipolar depression is generally different from unipolar depression. The unipolars tend to veer toward melancholic and sad. We bipolars lean toward “anergic” and leaden. The unipolars tend to sleep too little while we bipolars can’t get out of bed. The unipolars don’t want to eat. We bipolars, on the other hand, crave quick-energy sugars and carbs.

This may explain why SSRIs generally don’t work for bipolar depression. Our listlessness and lack of motivation point to a dopamine depletion rather than a lack of serotonin. Forget about mood, for the time being. What really seems to be happening is we have shifted from too much energy to too little.

Thankfully, my schedule allows for a few extra days of time-out, and I’m in the perfect location up here in the mountains to stop and smell the sage. I am not depressed, and that’s the point. I’m not pushing my luck. In another day or two, I will be back to full-strength.

But there will be situations that will call for me doing the very opposite, for getting out amongst people when I would rather curl up in bed. I need the wisdom to make the right call.

I can’t wait for the experts to come up with definitive answers. I have to figure this out right now. Thankfully, my present state of low social energy puts me in the perfect headspace for some serious introspecting. Now that I am aware of the sliders on the control panel, it won’t take me long to make the right adjustments.

Be smart. Know thyself. Live well …