Saturday, November 13, 2010
Shelly writes:I just started a new job on Thursday after being home since end of February. I knew it was going to be stressful ...Shelly wasn't kidding. "I forgot how normal stress really does a number on me and my psyche," she went on to say. "I've had interrupted sleep for a week (which is a big NO...
Dear John,
Victim is not a word that I want to be associated with. I DO try to look at situations from all angles and I do whatever is in my power to better my situation. Sometimes I can't see the forest for the trees depending on my state of mind (thinking) but that's why I had a wonderful support group in place. A loving husband who gently lets me know if I'm heading down the wrong path by the subtle symptoms that I may be starting to show. He's learned right along with me. Our relationship is a far cry better than it was even a year ago. I have a therapist that I can contact 24/7...just knowing that I have that option is such a godsend. It takes away alot of the worry and fear when I feel myself slipping. Mostly I keep in contact by email between appointments. My pdoc works with me very well also.
My future plans are to go to grad school next fall and eventually become an LICSW. Licensed Clinical Social Worker. There is such a need for people that understand us...especially in the rural area where I live. Who better than one that is in the midst. My hope is to remove more and more the stigma associated with mental illness by being proactive in creating support groups, doing education and one-on-one counseling.
I know that I have a weakness in my mind...it's created differently...but that doesn't mean I'm any less of a person. I just go about life a bit differently than the so-called normal people. I appreciate more and more the gift that I've been given with my fabulous mind.
I've found that attitude is 9/10s of everything in life. I can choose to feed into my depressions with a crappy attitude. I don't want to forget how bad it has felt but I can't dwell there in the past. It's important to live each day as it comes. To be in the present moment as much as possible. Bad days happen to everyone. Sometimes even a string of bad days. It's the knowing that it WILL get better...moods will even out again...the swinging will subside that is the ticket. I can't change who I am but I can change how and what I think. To be grateful. To look for the little miracles amidst the darkness.
Thank you, John, for continuing to ask tough questions and present the information that you do. It is invaluable as is the posts from all of us that live this thing called bipolar.
God Bless,
Shelly
Hey, Shelly. It's great to have your feedback here. I've learned an awful lot from your posts. You know you have tons of support here on all the things you are doing to move your life forward. Please keep posting, and updating us - triumphs as well as challenges. :)