Eight months ago, I flew into San Diego, ahead of all my worldly possessions packed into six or seven cartons. My marriage in New Jersey had broken up, my cash reserves were running on empty, my business was in chaos, and I was facing the real prospect of personal bankruptcy. I just wanted to sleep and not wake up.
So when Kay recently wrote in response to my last two or three blogs, "I can't help but think that you are flaunting your good lifestyle for people like me," it hit a raw nerve.
I had written about going to Disney World, speaking at a conference, and seeing a museum exhibit. We're not talking about caviar and champagne on Bill Gates' yacht.
Kay admitted to being "envious" of me, to which I'm tempted to reply, let's trade cars and see if you feel the same way. But who cares? What I am blessed with are very special people in my life. These include my grown daughter, Emily, who is a delight, my mother who has seen me through the best of times and the worst of times, and my brother and sister-in-law who give meaning to value in family values.
Some of the special people in my life deserve special mention. First, there is Colleen, founder of Bipolar World, who encouraged me to write about my illness, soon after I was diagnosed in early 1999. Channeling my writing to help others soon brought me out of the dark hole I was in. It was the first critical step in my healing.
Then there is Susan. I may have crawled out of my dark hole, but I was living in isolation. Susan is a generous spirit and brilliant writer who resurrected me back into the world. Sometime in 2001, she submitted some articles to my website. We struck up a correspondence and finally met in 2003. In 2004 we got married. Unfortunately, the marriage did not work out, but I owe a lot of where I am today to her. Things will never be as they were, but in due course, when the time is right, I am looking forward to mending fences.
Paul was there for me when my marriage imploded. He had been subscribing to my email Newsletter since about 2000. He is one of those unsung and selfless advocates who give and expect nothing in return. Our respective paths had crossed a number of times, and over time we developed a fast friendship. So when he found out my marriage had broken up and that I was emailing him from a Red Roof Inn, he generously offered me a room at his place. Living with Paul has resulted in a virtual bipolar brain trust. We literally spark off one another. Ideas crystallize, energy is tapped. Productivity soars. Significant healing results.
I first met Angela at a DBSA conference in 2000. She is a spreader of light in a world filled with ignorance. No one pays her for her efforts. She has a mission to perform and doesn't let little things like million-to-one odds get in her way. She has always been an inspiration to me. When we have occasion to cross paths, I try to grab as much "Angela time" as I can, before other people make demands on her. We have remained in email contact since we first met, and more recently we became phone buddies. No one understands where I'm coming from like Angela. She is there to share my small triumphs, to provide a sympathetic shoulder to cry on, and to give me a swift kick on the pants when I deserve it.
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