This year my objective is to forget about those ghosts from the past -- holidays ruined by mental illness of myself and/or others. I just want to participate this year with a spirit of giving and humble receiving of gifts. Sometimes the "outgoing" gift is helping a disabled neighbor keep her spirits up; but the "incoming" gift is seeing the smile on her face and knowing I could do something that counted. For so many years, I was the recipient of pity and sympathy as well as misunderstanding and ignorance.
This year I am not starving myself, I am not working to avoid Christmas Day/family, I am not visited by Christmas Past or hearing the rattling chains of despair, despondence, and derangement. Instead, I am enjoying the effects of Global Warming. Not the atmospheric-climate-change-type, but the warming of my heart. And not the upper atmospheric vicissitudes of mania or even hypomania. Just the melting of glaciers, the disappearing of ice shelves that kept any joy at a distance.
And I am ready for the holiday festivities! I can hardly wait! I am recovered! I feel it in my bones. My warming bones and blood. And this Christmas I look forward to helping to dissipate the ice floes of those who are still locked into small-mindedness and self-centeredness and yes, fear.
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Oh John, This is soooo perfect. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you
Blessings to you as we prepare for the Gift of our Savior, born in a manger.
You are a treasure to me.
Hugs, M