never will forget the social worker's words, while sitting in the day room of a local psych hospital, explain what the meds are supposed to do if you were to find the "right" combination and reach a level of stability

she said "the medications are to help even out your mood swings, ease your anxiety, and create a more balanced sense of mind.  They are to quieten, and to help with thinking and concentration and to slow your mind down.... they will not cure Bipolar but they will assist you in having a better quality of life than what you've been living."

I look back on that day and laugh.

I understand all to well that individuals need the comatosing dosages while inpatient.  I do truly understand. 

Yet, once that individual is "deemed" well enough to be discharged back to that which they came from.. that which likely created the environment that produced the episodic flare that landed them inpatient... is it really necessary to keep them comatosed?

For many individuals, being numbed out of their gourd is a wonderful thing.  Takes away responsibility of living and hands it off onto a "loved one" to care for them.  For many, the first foray into a inpatient unit is frightening and they don't want to return so... load up the drugs doc. 

Yet many, as is me, do not want to continue living as though I am acutely ill... long after the acuteness has left.