Struggling to Resurface

John McManamy Health Guide
  • So this is what it’s like to be depressed. Now I remember.

    Right now I’m facing my worst depression since late 1998-early 1999, though thankfully this one is nowhere near as bad. My earlier one I refer to as my Mount Everest Death Zone Depression. This is more like I Fell Through the Indoor Playground Plastic Balls at Burger King and I Can’t Surface Depression.

    In other words I know I’ll be okay. But the psychic pain is just enough to connect me to the horrible assault on my brain that nearly ended my life six and a half years ago. All I wanted back then was for the pain to stop. End. Kaput. The future didn’t matter.

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    I’ve been through about six or seven days of this now. I know it will lift in good time, as I have successfully disengaged myself from the source of my anguish, like removing my hand off a hot stove. Nevertheless, it will take time for the burns to heal. In the meantime, the unrelenting grind of day in and day out is beginning to render me punch-drunk.

    I know many of you are going through much worse depressions than mine at the moment, and that you have been enduring this for a much longer time. You have my utmost respect. I applaud your courage.

    I remember what it’s like. You are my heroes.

Published On: October 11, 2005