Sunday, May 15, 2011
The latest in my series on "Up" ...
With your help, we have been exploring psychiatry’s dirty dark secret - dysphoric and dark mania and hypomania in bipolar, loosely described as agitated or morbid states of intense psychic distress. Hagop Akiskal of UCSD and his collaborators around ...
when I was younger and first driving... I had an older vehicle that was an 8 cylinder (unheard of nowadays, I know) and every once in a while 2 of it's cylinders would ultimately not fire... this would not necessarily cause the motor to stop running entirely but would cause some rough going
however, when you'd come to a stop.. like that of an intersection and/or stoplight... if you didn't keep gas flowing & the idle up the motor would cut off
so... I'd have to shift the automatic into park, put my right foot on the gas pedal and press, then put my left foot on the brake pedal @ the same time.. so as to not go flying off into the middle of the intersection
the transmission had no idea which way to go, in that situation... foot on gas but yet brake pedal pressed... so it would rock and buck and well, strain
this has always stuck with me because when I'm in my highly agitated, highly irritated, extremely ramped up mood but with a wet soaking blanket of depression still weighing heavily keeping a lid on where my system wants to go... I think of that... when I would have to put one foot on the gas and one foot on the brake to keep the motor running @ a necessary stop
all the strain, all the internal combusting pressure, all the valves grinding
Hey, Tabby. This is perfect.