Deceptive Hypomania: Energies Bop, Inhibitions Drop, Ideas Pop

I just came down from a terrible depression. I really work hard to keep from going very high because I know the depression is coming. I never seem to enjoy anything lately. I am on trileptal and recently was put on lamictal. My life has become dreary without the highs, I miss them and am afraid of letting them happen. ***************************** Hi. Nothing I say to you right now is going to make you feel better. Depression is like that. Hopefully, you can see your way through to managing your illness when you’re feeling a bit better. Those highs you talk about – are they part of your true personality or a prelude to trouble or both? There’s no easy answer here, so you and your psychiatrist need to have a good dialogue to find the “sweet spot” in your personality (and treat accordingly). Treatment is supposed to restore you to feeling well, not just to knocking out symptoms, and you are entitled to remind your psychiatrist of that. You in turn (when you’re feeling a bit better) have an obligation to manage your illness with smart lifestyle choices (especially by not messing around with your sleep) and being hypervigilant to subtle changes in mood/energy/behavior, etc. If you can pick up the changes early and respond before they escalate into the beginnings of episodes you may be able to stay stable in a state that allows you to feel happy rather than overmedicated. In the meantime, give yourself time for the Lamictal to kick in. It takes time to build up to a clinical dose with this med, so you have to be patient. And please don’t give up hope. If there is one take home message from this it is that you are not entirely helpless, no matter what tricks your mind may be playing right now. Take care, John

I've just read your article on hypomania and i couldn't have written it better myself! I'm about half way through writing a book about the last eleven years of having bipolar and M.E., the bipolar only being diagnosed in late 2002 after a suicide attempt. Your site is highly informative not only for myself but for my friends and family and i must thank you for that. Education is what they need. People shy away and get nervous and it's usually through sheer ignorance. Your site helps to overcome that in a a gentle and subtle manner. Unfortunately due to my circumstances i have been unable to work for over a year now and so i'm living off breadcrumbs but when i finally manage to pull myself together your site will be the first one i will be donating to. Please don't stop what you're doing. there are so many people like you and like me who need what you are striving for. Thank you again, Ellie ****************************** HI, Ellie. Many thanks. You just made my day. Please keep coming back for more blogs. All the best, John

Nothing is worse than depression, which hits me every few years. I stay in bed all day. I have had a few hypomanic episodes and they are great. If I know a drug that would produce one, I would take it right without hesitation. No possible harm - I am 80 years old so what do I have to be afraid of? **************************** Hi Donald, You're the right age to appreciate this. I just got a box DVD set of Fred and Ginger. Hypomania Heaven is all I can say. Top Hat is one of my five favorite movies of all time. I can watch it again and again. Thanks for reading, John

i was just diagnosed with bipolarII and i am in the depression faze of it. how do i get my highs back without getting into the mania. where is a happy medium and what meds work best for this ************************************ Hi, Rene. The good news is you are a unique individual. The bad news is this means there are no pat answers. I urge you to read all seven blogs in my series on hypomania. The happy medium you need to find is YOUR happy medium, one that feels right and safe for you. Finding the right meds and the right doses involves forming a good relationship with your psychiatrist and a lot of patience. And don't forget the coping skills. BipolarConnection bills me as an "expert patient," but getting well and staying well requires that YOU become an expert patient, too. Thank you for reading, John

John I have just found your site tonight and have throughly enjoyed it. I was diagosed 3 years ago and suffer mainly from depression still. I do miss my highs but know that what goes up must come down. I agree with you that one must be involved with their own treatment plans and stay aggressive in fighting this illness to have a quality life. Thanks Susan

I am bipolar 2 and had just had the most stable 6 months in 4 yrs. I have just had major surgery ( 12 hrs) and on reflection got pretty hypo before and after the surgery. I suddenly felt v. scared in the hospital ( not usual for me)and couldn't wait to get out. Now I'm exhausted, tearful, ashamed and worried that another big depression will hit.

I have just been diagnosed as bipolar, but I'm not sure that I am. I know that after the depression (for me) there is a period of feeling nothing, which is awful. Then there is the period when I feel great. The sun shines, I smile for no reason at all, and I can creat art work that even I like! I have been put on lamictal, and I was afraid that it would take the "top" off as well as the "bottoms". If the highs are too high, I don't know, but I want them! I want to jump out of bed in the morning excited to start the day. I want the engergy to clean my house and create art, all on the same day! I am not sure that I want to plod through my days somewhere in the "middle". I was on prozac for years, and loved the way it made me feel, but since it quit working I've not been able to find another antidepressant that works for me. I'd love to hear your opinion. Do you think that lamictal can take the lows away without taking the highs away too?

John, great what you are doing for all of us who have Bi-polar disorder thank you so much! I am so excited to see you work out there so honest and fresh and real. I was diagnosed at 32 11 years ago and have been through so many different meds it is not funny. I have the kind of bipolar where I am manic alot and it takes alot of meds to keep me even so if you need info on mania I am your gal! But seriously thanks so much for putting yourself on the line and helping the rest of us and educating the world we need more people to stand up and make it known! I wish I could have a voice and let it be heard. I have a lot to say! Cori

I was just diagnosed with hypomania today.  I now face a terrible decision:  go back on "lite" doses of medications which made the last seven years of my life a living hell, or continue in this "wonderful" hypomanic state until the inevitable (according to my nurse, anyway) crash comes.   I can't describe how wonderful I've felt these last few months being free from my old meds (Abilify and Effexor), but I now know that this liberation comes with a price. 

well i feel like i,m going in to a high this morning waking up feeling great and excited over nothing. I dont like to get to high because that is when I make stupid decisions,my sex drive goes up,i want to be creative and clean and not really sleep, I just recently started a new med so hoping its just the med and not a high that i will come crashing out of.

While I appreciate your blogs about hypomania, as another patient with Bipolar II, I urge you to understand that your experience of hypo is unique to you, and that others may experience a less positive experience of it. The agitation of hypo is not always welcome, nor does it always come accompanied by feelings of well-being. It's actually in my hypos that I feel least like myself and most afraid. Perhaps you said it best when you said that finding one's own base line and sticking to one's best med routine is the thing to do.

I went through a period of 5 mos. of hypomania.  I had been stable for 5 years on a combo of meds so I wasn't seeing my pdoc only every 6 mos.  The hypomania was triggered when I flew across the country to visit a friend. 

 

I was excited & couldn't sleep the night before I left.  Then when I was there for 10 days I slept about 3 hours a night & felt so excited & good & happy & energetic.  The hypomania continued when I got home so after about 5 mos. of this (I didn't call my pdoc--I didn't want it to go away plus I didn't know how dangerous it was to let it go on like that), I SUDDENLY crashed one night & overdosed on my meds.  A depression came really fast & hard.  Luckily my husband found me & took me to the ER.

 

I'm still reeling from the OD & trying to get my former state of stability back.  I see my pdoc every 2 weeks now for an hour.  She is doing therapy with me to help me get my self-esteem back & lessen the guilt & fear I feel.  Could it happen again?

 

She has me call her if I go 3 nights without sleeping at least 6 hours & she has put me on some heavy duty sleeping meds to help me.

 

Love hypomania, but the consequences are too dire to let it go on.

I just read your article on Hypomania.  I went to see the doctor just because my Dog was constantly 'on me'. and I had ruled out all other known bipolar reactions for me.  By the time I saw him, I was bouncing off the walls!  He diagnosed me as Hypomania 3 years ago!  It was hell-o!  I couldn't even stand myself, let alone my husband!  My Dog has since warned me of other episodes, including the one starting now!  I listen to her and so does my husband, bracing himself for yet another episode!  |Bite the bullet!  Each time my husband and I catch it earlier.  For me, when my Lithium Levels are imbalanced, within 6 weeks I become Hypomanic!  Watching my levels is V|ERY importand to us now!

This time we will need to change the meds because the now 3 have had horrible side effects so far.  If I can prevent this malady I will, any way I can!

I was told by Mom, that life is a roller coaster---NOW I believe it!

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you'be been up er' rather down to!

I developed the disruptive symptoms of hypomania in my late thirties, a underreported side effect of benzodiazapam use.  In my case, I was romantically involved w/ a much older (25 years) alcoholic physician who was very free w/ the prescriptions originally intended to ease my chronic insomnia.  Unfortunately, he died, leaving my benzo well bone dry and me to deal w/ the physical repercussions.  My behavior had insideously grown frenetic and unfocused.  Family and long time friends noticed my uncharacteristic restlessness, endlessly in search of movement.  Changing jobs, fender benders, countless speeding tickets, insatiable shopping sprees, impulsive trips abroad, damaged and/or severed relationships, incessant talking and interrupting others in speech, etc.  I could not see the change in me at first, dismissing others' concerns as ridiculous.  That is until a childhood friend who is very savvy in medical issues "diagnosed" me as having ADHD.  Another long time friend commented that I did not used to be "wound so tight."  I begrudgingly saw a shrink for professional assessment.  He performed a battery of tests and promptly diagnosed me w/ ADHD and hypomania!  Suprisingly, it proved to be a relief more than anything.  There was now a legitimate explanation for all my erratic and ultimately destructive behavior.  I was a devout cynic concerning conditions such as depression, mania, ADHD, etc., misguidingly thinking the purported sufferers just needed a "kick in the ***" to get back on track.  God was teaching me a hard lesson in the reality of these  conditions.  They are the biological and very real result of varying neurochemical imbalances.  Unfortunately, I was left w/ damaged and/or destroyed relationships, a ruined career and professional reputation, debt out my ears, time irrevocably lost w/ my daughter, etc., etc.  The good news was that Aderral helped to contain my boundless energy and focus to some degree.  I am much better thanks to professional intervention but not completely back to normal.  I now educate others every chance I get on the reality of these conditions.  Unless you or someone close to you suffers from this facet of a bipolar condition, it is impossible to relate to or fully appreciate.  Sufferers are not flighty or consciously inconsiderate, they are dealing w/ a physiological condition that manifests itself in a  ways.  The good news is that it can be managed and once you know what you are dealing with, you can overcompensate w/ appropriate behaviors.  Spread the word!  variety of self destructive and unpleasant ways.  We are not "flighty" or consciously inconsiderate.  There is a very real physiological phenomenon at work under our skin.  The good news is that there is effective help to be had.  And once you know what you are dealing with, you can overcompensate for the "bad behavior" w/ what you know is the expected and appropriate behavior.  Those who do not personally endure these conditions or know someone clos to them who does, cannot possibly relate to said conditions.  That is why it is important to educate most everyone you can who is fortunate enough to be in the proverbial dark.

1 ex- husband 2-daughters 4grandaughters all have manic.

Several friends I've taken to emergency ward and watched/helped get on medication. Why do I end up with these people how do they find me.I fill like a manic magnet. I could write a book of the horrific experiances.Most family and friends of these people call the police I hold my breath and eventually get them to the hospital or dr. but that takes time and several events to figure out whats happening.

It is amusing to live in a world, where, as is evident in this article, Psychiatry has no idea about much of anything concerning Bi-Polar Disorder, yet they have no problem handing Atypical 2nd Generation Anti-Psychotics [which were develped to treat Schizophrenia, in the last 8 years, or less] as frontline treatment for 'pediatric bi-polar'.

It's utterly disgusting.

 

As an artistic-type, originally diagnosed ADHD, at 15, I have been a guinea pig for the very wel calculated 'cause+effect=need for more serious medication).

For example, Ritalin caused anxiety, that, at 15, I only recognized as bad moods.

I was put on SSRIs which did nothing to help, but did have some undesireable side effects.

By19, I had a full blown panic attack. Not uncommon. But, no discussion was given to the obvious fact that the 'speed' had caused the problem. No, I was given a horrible medication, called Xanex.

Along with Klonipin, Ativan, and Valium,,these 'benzodiazepines' make-up the most physically and mentally addictive drugs EVER known to mankind.

They are not only given out frequently, despite nearly thirty years of very documented knowledge among Doctors that they are highly dangerous,,but they are rarely ever explained by the Doctor.

In America you will not hear about the evil of these drugs. But, go to Great Britain, where drug adverts are not on TV, and socialized medicine feels duped, and you will find a manifesto, ready for Parliament, drafted by two MPs, that goes into great detail the costs to the state, long term of these drugs; the reality that illicit drug users have a 90% rate of co-morbid addiction to benzos, that they score illegally; and, even, the initiative to hold accountable, at every level, the Companies, Regulatory Boards, Politicians, and Doctors for Crimes Against Humanity,,because these drugs, if properly tapered off of, require 6 months, a year, and more, to rid one's system of.

A cold turkey taper is highly dangerous, and often results in seizures, stroke and death.

 

These meds are very often prescribed to Bi-Polar patients, for anxiety, leading me to propose a very legitimate question; the drugs still reach a level of toxicity, where they begin to cause the very effects they were given to treat. But, the effects are much worse, prolonged, and utter hell on earth.

I was diagnosed Bi-Polar, and the Psychiatrist, who should have recognized immediately that the symptoms I presented him with, were obviously in line with the constant exhaustion, mood disorders, memory impairments, self esteem issues, and depression, associated with toxicity of benzos.

Instead, this individual, Dr. Steven Huk ofKansas City (more than happy to share that name,,he can sue me for the nothing I have,,and then he can meet the A.C.L.U.), TRIPLED my dose of Xanex, and added a mood stabilizer.

 

I had a Gran Mal seizure in less than a month.

 

My mind and life fell further apart, and by the time I found the truth, by way of the leading Psychopharmacologist/Neurologist, in the world, in the area of Benzodiazepines, I was about done for.

 

Thanks to the thousands of individuals at www.benzo.org.uk , I was able to see the truth and realize that I was just very sick. I found a doctor who was appalled by the level of drugs I was on, and has helped facilitate my tapering off, which is halfway complete.

 

Hypomania, is not dangerous. Hypomania is te ideal self, for those with artistic personalities. It is an enlightenment. I have never been Manic,,but I have seen it.

It is often facilitated by the very drugs given to treat it.

Just as benzos are anti-seizure meds that cause seizures; just as mood-stabilizers/anti-convulsants cause tremors and convulsions, and just as anti-psychotics tamper with speech, horrible tics, Tardive Dyskenesia, and cognitive thought process and memory.

 

I would not go as far as to say all psychiatry is a farce. I would say that there are a huge percentage of problems that can be solved with the help of an L.C.L.S.W., or a Psychologist. This nation, of conditioned fools, blindly seeking psychiatrists to assist perfectly healthy young people (as young as 2 years old), for conditions that we know not what catalyst induces in a grown person, or if the 'conditions' (aka 'DISEASES') even exist, considering 0 (zero) scientific evidence to prove any of this exists, will surely destroy a generation of helpless, perfectly normal, children.

 

God have mercy on the souls of these inept, money-hungry, elitists. They will surely answer with their souls.

Thank you for your insights. " Gee, I thought I had all the answers to pollution, politics and any other problem that comes along"....(She said with  tears in her puffy eyes).

Yes, hypomania is not the friend it appears to be.  While those around you think that you are doing so well with  all this 'insight' and energy.....your world can crumble at any minute!! Yes, we even fool our psychiatrists, unintentionally, as, they often 'buy' into it. This scenario plays itself over and over....

When it is over we need to do damage control, however, we are now exhausted,depressed and in some kind of trouble.

DID I DO THAT???  You can bet I did!!!

Hypomania is not a disorder but a natural state for bright people.  However, in order to stay in this state one needs to MIX with people who do not wish to constantly bring yur mood down.

 

In a word, bright people need to mix with bright people.  See the book "Finding Your North Star" which is all about mixing with supportive positive people instaed of JEALOUS people who just wish to beat you down.

 

People who beat you down STRESS you and tell you untruths about your ideas.  These are usually people who have NO ideas themselves.

Just found your cite how helpful.  I was diagnosed five yrs ago and refuse to take meds because they bring me down.  I feel like a zombie like I am not even myself.  I end up self medicating because I constantly feel like I want to crawl out of myself like my body cant hold all my energy its a wild high all the time and most of the time I am so intense I love myself.  I think I can do things others cant.  I am a bartender probably not the best job for me cause I am exposed to all the goodies.  The reason I end up abusing drugs is because I just want to bring down my high just a notch when I talk to people I know I am different and I feel like they are thinking I am crazy.  I really cant control it I bounce around talk fast go off into extensive crazy stories I feel out of control very powerful and confident I will succeed in anything that I want.  The real crazy thing is I do people love to be around me .  My phone never stops people want me around men fall in love with me very quickly and it really creeps me out cause I cant do normal daily things easily and I know any relationship with me is just going to end up hurting someone but not me.  It was fine in my twenties I just thought I was eccentric most people just thought I had a huge cocaine problem.  I wake up like I snorted an eightball, seriously.  It is harder now that I am older because I am more aware that my head is not right.  I always thought mental illness was associated with lack of intelligence and that was never the case with me.  My mind has always been too quick for those around me.  Somehow I feel so bored I dont want the meds world but the average persons life seems so redundant to me like it would be hard to breath.

I've very appreciative of this article.  A few years ago I sought treatment because I thought my life was out of control, that is, going no where and unproductive (to me).  I was also extremely stressed out and taking on more burdens than I could handle - or were even mine to handle.  In the past, this is always met with, "I think you have clinical depression.  Here...take these and see."  Most of us know how that goes: you feel great, stop the meds and take a slow drop or plunge; or you feel worse and are told to take more.  Back then it was Prozac, the wonder drug, curer of all things mental health related.  I have since been told (by my new doctor) that inappropriate prescription of this drug is likely how my illness developed/progressed.

 

The person I've been seeing now - perhaps because she is younger (I hate to be age-biased but sometimes it is a factor) - took the time to listen to my fears about losing "myself" to another medication.  No finger waving, no doctor knows best.  I realize not every case has the benefit of time but I've also watched the unfolding horrors of over- or mismedicating patients on friends and family.  I've been a victim of the medical ambush were two or more doctors convince (i.e. wear you down) until you agree to meds you wouldn't have before - and I know many others have been, too.  I'm lucky that I found someone who wasn't script-happy - and who watched out for me with script-happy dr.s while I attended a PHP.

 

I wish there were more people like her (and the Dr.s you mentioned) that you are an indivual with an illness that you need help managing not a fire that needs to be put out or a robot that needs a little help mimicing life.  I have a better grasp on me vs. bipolar disorder (vs. medication as well).  I used to see meds as chemical conformity, now see assisted control.  Unfortunately, too many dr.s will use thr former method to treat patients.  They only see the major symptoms, not the person hidden between them.

I guess reading this helps me to understanding the young adult 19 in my house. I can see the hypomania coming pretty clearly. As my kid was diagnosed at age 12, she loves the up feeling , hates the lows and  I as a supporter try to keep the house calm. It is very scary for our family to see the hypomania because it does usually proceed with lack of sleep, agitation, irregular spending, and strange friends. Her Dr is fair but I can't talk to her unless I become her guardian.  Medication is a struggle , too Thank you for trying to help people with bipolar.