Okay to start off i'm bipolar type 2. I have had these unexsplainable mind racing things going on and the physc i seen just look at me and up the dose of meds. I quit all meds and am doing not so good but this hypomania. Is that this=
My mind races with thoughts,im
exstreamly happy, everything seems to be go at like warp speed to me. I feel as if im talking quicker and overtalking . What is that. PLease Help. TY
Hi there Gary,
You seem desperate for some answers... I don't have them all but I do have a few words that I hope will help. Based on what little information you've given here, you are most likely experiencing at least hypomania. It may also be escalating towards full blown mania which can be quite difficult to address unless you seek help now when you have such suspicions about your state of mind. If you enter into a full blown manic episode that seriously limits your ability to make rational judgements or that could result in harm to yourself and others, you may not have a chance to seek help yourself, in a dignified manner.
I HIGHLY recommend you seek professional help and if, for whatever reason, you don't feel you can get it from your PDoc, then go to the hospital, call a local support telephone line that is anonymous (I've resorted to quite a few late night phone calls as a way to get my mind settled if only for a brief time), seek a non-profit organization out that offers counselling sessions free or scaled to your income... do whatever you can to get to a place where qualified people can and will help you.
One last thing about your medication... I do believe some people can and eventually do develop enough other tools and strategies to manage BP un-medicated <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> Normal 0 </xml><![endif]--><!-- -->(a healthy lifestyle with proper diet and exercise and no recreational drugs or other stimulants/depressants like caffeine or alcohol being key). The few people I have met have spent many years perfecting these abilities. They are disciplined, diligent and are HIGHLY aware of ALL their personalized symptoms of an impending episode. They have also developed a solid support network and remain enlightened enough about their disorder to know that there may come a time when being medicated again may be necessary.
I have been through many years of extensive therapy, including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, counselling (which I often find more healing than my PDoc sessions), hospitalization, medication and I am currently trying to implement and master Mindfulness (Google The Full Catastrophe to see information on this topic). All of that and despite how well my life is going, I'm still not ready to give up my meds, no matter how much I desperately want to (especially since I have a non-alcoholic liver disease that dislikes having to metabolize drugs).
It is a choice you alone must make. From personal experience, I hope you choose to go back on meds at least until you can clarify your thoughts more and if you MUST be off them for whatever reason, try to develop a plan on how to do that without slipping into an episode of mania or depression. The few times I went off my meds did not end well. As informed as I am about my illness, I still don't have any clue if I will ever be able to go off my meds entirely. I remain hopeful that someday, I may.
I sincerely wish you well Gary and hope you find some peace of mind in knowing that Bipolar is not who you are, it is what you have. It is not the only thing in life that defines you, it is simply a challenge that you have been dealt. What defines you is how you manage it and how that management positively affects your relationships, with others, and with yourself. When the mind won't shut down, it will eventually encounter a situation which forces it to do so, with or without our consent. The idea of slipping that far away from the ability to control my life is often all the motivation I need to promise myself that I'll get help in a dignified manner if I can. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Namaste,
Sheri
My son was diagnosed with Bipolar I at age 20. He's now 27, married, has a good job and is taking his meds, watching his sleep pattern and general being very responsible taking care of his illness.
I inadvertently was sent an email from my ex-husband in which he mentions to someone that maybe I'm bipolar. I started thinking about that. I've had clinical depression and am on antidepressants that work for me. I started them eight years ago and felt that they helped me be the "real" me.
After reading the symptoms of hypomania, I think I may have that. I have often thought of myself as better than others, unique. I also give away money to organizations and people. I have made rash decisions about money and have overspent.
So, I guess my question is...should I contact a therapist about this? I don't want to take more medication and feel that I can handle my life pretty well. But maybe I'm missing something. Any thoughts?
Leslie
Probably so Leslie. Take a look at my post below and you'll see only a huge amount of stress caused a "mental breakdown" of full blown mania (which I think is always followed by severe depression and that was certainly in my case) may have been the only reason I would ever have been Dx'd bipolar.
You have to try different Rxs though to see if one makes an improvement or not. In my case I only take a medication for depression, not for mania, as I don't go very high when I do go hypomanic. And it seems caffeine is what sends me into hypo in large part. So I drink decaf now and my Wellbutrin XL 150 mg per day is my wonder drug.
This was a very helpful blog post John.
BP is a spectrum disorder indeed. So much so, I'd include unipolar and schizophrenia on the same spectrum, at different ends, with BP in the middle.
I was first Dx'd with unipolar and I took Prozac for 1 year when I was in my low 30's. I then went 1 years without any Rx as the Prozac seemed to lose it's effect. After getting married, with my expenses skyrocketing and other stresses combined, I was Dx'd BP I because of the "breakdown" of having a full blown manic week, followed by an equally strong depressive crash. I could only work 2 hours a day after being Dx'd BP I, but I got better over time, and it wasn't long before I was able to ditch the mood stabilizer and just take Celexa SSRI anti depressant. There were a few bunny hill hypomanias here and there, usually triggered by online arguments from community forums, which have an unreal quality without non verbal or face to face, and can trigger me into hypomania.
I went a year without anything again as I had to cut expenses and I cut out my HMO health insurance bill that was $450 a month for my wife and I. My kids continue to be insured but on a kids only plan that is affordble. I went back to college to get a math teaching credential, and I realized my congition wasn't where it needed to be. (particularly during the all day saturday classes since the program is designed for people with jobs, and also during some field experience teaching.) So I learned from participating in a bipolar forum of new Rx's that boost dopamine and not just serotonin, and I asked my Doc about Wellbutrin, and he went ahead and Dx'd me with Wellbutrin XL, which I immediately felt was my wonder drug -- and two years later I still feel the same way about the Rx. At first, and also because it was the start of summer (I am affected by the seasons), I went a bit hypo, over time that hasn't been the case. So I am in a good position now. Although when I get down over stress, I get the idea to drink a cup of coffee (I quit coffee after taking the Wellbutrin,) and I have found that caffeine and energy drinks without caffeine can put me into hypo.
The bottom line is that I think our "baseline" might appear a bit hypo from an outsider. But that we can tell the difference between such a mood and an "edgy" hypomania. For an extra boost of energy, I will rely on natural anti depressants (excercise primarily, but there are supposedly other things,) as I do not believe they will put me into edge hypo, but rather into a pretty ideal mood state. The great thing about Wellbutrin XL for me is the extended release does not roller coaster your mood at all -- it's 24x7.
I would say I'm a psychiatric success story. But on the other hand, don't forget that I was originally Dx'd unipolar, and that I may have never found out I was bipolar unless I had had the "breakdown" triggered by a lot of stress. So I may not be the typical bipolar. And judging by the BPs participating in bipolar forums, I am not typical, as I have never met anyone who claims they have gotten better. Well there may have been a few but I don't think anyone going from BP I to BP III (I use III incorrectly, but in my own scale, III being lighter than II. III really means hypo induced by Rx. This is almost correct for me but not quite. Not until I consume caffeine on top of the Wellbutrin.)
When I am hypo, I experience poor judgement in terms of not getting a realistic grip on the new projects or ideas that I may take on -- combined with some obsessiveness over the idea or project as well. (I should include OCD on my spectrum too I think -- I certainly have a touch of OCD (I will check the locks on my door at night about 3 times before going to sleep. Although I think some of this touch of OCD might be from short term memory loss -- forgetting if I locked the door or not.))
Today, not hypo, and not drinking coffee for 4 days or so now, I can come up with ideas in a more grounded way. I may not have as much energy to put them into play, but at least I am not wasting energy in a haste makes waste way, as I think we can be prone to be hasty/wasty when you are hypo.
One problem people in our category -- and I really don't know what category it is -- perhaps famous bipolar wannabes -- is that if we go into a BP support forum, often times we'll be judged for being in denial of being hypo or of not taking our meds. Indeed I was kicked out of one such forum at the outset, for not being "in compliance with meds" which was a requirement to be a member of the forum.
And if we were to start our own niche support forum, we'd be judged divisive,
narcissistic, insensitive mental illness snobs who promote labels and stigma. So I think it is best we stick to being generically "bipolar" when we associate with other BPs. And generically mentally different when we associate with others who are mentally different.
One point I disagree on is whether the 24x7 almost hypo mood I am in now is my true temperament, as I think my true temperament is more relaxed. But I would agree if you said that it is my baseline temperament at this point in my life, as "more relaxed" would really be a tad depressed now that I "have BP." I don't think I've had BP my entire life -- I believe I was genetically predispositioned and that it was just a matter of time before the disorder presented itself.
You can tell we talk too much too. Maybe that is why Ted Turner was called "the mouth of the South?"
Jim G
Print out a list of symptoms. You can find them on this list probably, or google for bipolar symptoms. Then have him/her either get educated on the web, or buy him/her a book on bipolar. And of course you may have to threaten to no longer be his/her partner if he/she doesn't at least get educated to find out if they agree they have it, and to learn about it, which should result in a visit to a psychiatrist. If they keep denying, perhaps it is time for you to move on and let your partner learn the hard way.
how far is it possible to micromanage medications? Right now I'm taking a .5 mg pill of respiridone but feel as if that is too much while .25mg is too little. Is that too fine a distinction?
Thanks for the series, though. I'm going to print these out and show them to my therapist and psychiatrist. Very highly informative.
For me hypomania is pure BLISS. I don't have any irritation or feel jittery. I can feel the adrenaline coursing through my body after sleeping only 2-3 hours night after night. I have high self-esteem & energy & creativity; get involved in so many organizations & rise to the top quickly into leadership positions; I'm physically active & lose weight; I'm cheerful & optimistic; people want to be around me & my husband prefers this "wife" (even though I do go on spending sprees) vs. the "other wife"--depressed, lethargic, overweight, crying, hopeless & often suicidal.
I'm one of those people that can stay hypomanic for months. Last time was 5 months (& this was while being "medication compliant" on meds that had kept me stable for 5 years so I didn't report the hypomania to my doc as it felt so good & I didn't realize how dangerous it was) & with the 2 or 3 hours of sleep a night my brain "misfired" suddenly & I shifted into a deep depression & overdosed.
So meds are being adjusted & back to individual therapy & added Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (VERY HELPFUL) & have to report to pdoc if I fail to sleep at least 6 hours a night for 3 nights in a row, but I MISS that hypomania like a drug addict misses his fix. When I feel the hypomania returning (sure sign is the adrenaline rush & feeling really excited like something great is going to happen & waking up with just an hour or two of sleep), I don't want to report it. I want to keep it for awhile, much as I think that drug addict wants to just use for a couple more times then give it up.
My "normal" personality? I don't know what it is anymore. Since the overdose 2 1/2 years ago I've been struggling to get back to a stable place. My pdoc is dxing me as mixed--moderate. Not sleeping very well, acting hypomanic sometimes yet tears are very close to the surface. Tired of messing with the meds so trying really hard with the DBT skills to get emotional regulation & improve my rational thinking, self-esteem, mindfulness & living in the here & now.
My pdoc usually ups my Abilify for a week which does seem to knock the hypomania right out. She does want to add Seroquel to get me to sleep more, but I am resisting as I am already taking some sedating drugs.
I do wholeheartedly believe CBT works - and I liked this series of articles. My only issue is that the last part makes CBT sound like a 24/7 thankless job; like mental dieting. If you've ever been on a diet - or known a diet-crazy person - you know what I'm talking about: that panicked, overalert state of being on the look out for every calorie. I have an aunt like that. Dining with her comes with a 100% guarantee that you will get some kind of remark about the evils of what you just ordered, thought about ordering or have ordered in the past (if only in speculation). You don't need to have BP to see how that is a major drag. Worst still, long after she's gone, you will have internalized her nagging until you can not look at a crouton without imagining it morphing into some puffy band of squishiness riding you hips into a bigger pant size. Food becomes your frenemy: you love it, you hate it, you're always trying to trump it or make peace with it. But you no longer really enjoy it.
What I'm getting at it is eventually over-analyzing occurs. When that happens, everything starts to look like a symptom or an episode or a prelude. I think that counters the arguement that hypermania may be your true temperment. I mean if you're constantly micromanaging yourself, how are you ever going to truly know who you are? That doesn't sound like living...but it does make me understand more why some people choose to cultivate their manic states.
Something about me, if anyone is interested 
Well for me it took more than 10 years to finally being diagnosed- and still my psychiatrist is not convinced that I might be bipolar because I am not a handbook case of full blown mania- and after 2 years of medication I took the matter in my own hands. I didn t like the zombie state of too much medication because I was slow to react, emotionally numb and indiferent to stimulation but I also didn t like my irritated, argumentative and risk taking hypomaniac side. But after much self reflection and observation, I now accept that being hypomaniac is my true personality and that I can live with it quite well, if I am aware of what I think and behave, and use the right dose of medication. My father 's side of the family were all hypomaniacs and I have been a very energic and curious child who hated sleep and had frequent temper tantrums. With puberty I suddenly became very depressed with irritable mood. At 17 I had what I now think it was my first episode of pure hypomania...and it lasted some months. At 21 again irritated depression- after my first visit to a psychiatrist I took antidepressants for 3 months and my usual hypomania became more severe...and so on for more than 10 years.
To make a long story short I believe I was born with a hypertimic temperament ( whatever that might mean in terms neurobiology). Over that, in adolescence I also developed depression. Depression over my hyperthimia (or hypomania if you prefer ) was a mixed state. Basically what I want to say is that my basic mood -temperament is mild hypomania.It means I am very energic,love to talk, outgoing and creative; it also means I am irritable. With depression it develops into a mixed state. Sometimes it gets more severe and then I don't need sleep, become very driven about interest and also very very irritable.Overall I fear depression more than hypomania, but the mixed states are the worse.
My problem with medication is that:
- antidepressants help with depression but agravate my basic hypomania
- antipsychotics help with mixed states but no with depression( not to mention side effects and costs)
- mood stabilisers make me a zombie; I tried and tried to find the holy grail of the right dose and from medication guideliness on acute mania and personal experience with hypomania I think there is no such thing as a fine grading between dose and effect with mild hypomania. I think, under a certain threshold the grading doesn t work anymore. At least for me, it doesn t.
So, how do I cope now?
- I try to accept the fact that sometimes you can t have the cake and eat it too...I mean energy and drive come full package with irritable mood for me.
- I lie to my psychiatrist; I don't like it but don't have a choice since she ( like all the others) can't seem to understand that I cannot suddenly became a different person at 29 with a personality that doesn't offer many advantages in life. So I take the pills and read guideliness and read studies on clinical trials and experiment and hope one day will find the right dose/ drug for my needs.
- I am now on SSRI antidepressants because I fear depression; of course it aggravates my basic hypomania so I also experiment with mood stabilisers.
- I deal with more severe hypomania by observing myself...for example if I find myself raising my voice or getting angry I know in most cases it is not the situation but my mood so I try to stop thought in that moment my brains tells me I have all the right in the world to be angry and express it. It is a never ending battle.
- I wish I had the courage to stop medication and deal with depression also. But from my experience is harder.
P. S. sorry for my english.
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mcorleymckeown
Information is just that....information. It in no way is promoted as a cure.
I was diagnosed Bipolar I thirty years ago. I am now a comfortable hypomanic on a drug no longer recognized as a treatment for my illness, but it (Neurontin) works for me. At age 70 I have found that sensitivity to my emotional patterns, and learning to express that to a therapist and psychiatrist is a large part of the "cure."
Bipolars need to take responsibility for themselves.
I am now taking Cymbalta to get me through a bad patch. My doctor needs my responsible input, and it's working. I have not had a manic episode in twenty-seven years.
diagnosed with major depressive disorder and hypomania in my mid-30s. Am in mid-50s now. Have been treated by psychiatrist since my mid-30s. I have tried everything you mentioned and go on every new medication - maybe this works for someone but definitely not me. This is just another bunch of crap. sorry but that's the truth.
~~~
Hello Jgriffin,
I have to agree with Mary that “Bipolars need to take responsibility for themselves.” Though I try to maintain I have Bipolar, not I am (a) Bipolar. It must be very frustrating for you to have gone through many methods and have yet to find a successful way to manage your disorder. In your mid-50’s, it must be overwhelming that you have yet to establish some sort of balance in your life.
Perhaps the overwhelming frustration that leads you to YOUR truth that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is crap, as are ALL medications useless, is as a result of disappointment in yourself for not taking greater measures to become healthier? If I offend you, well, sorry, but someone should address your intensely negative emotion here that is directed at proven therapies (CBT, medication and psychotherapy) that works for many people who accept it and work WITH it to adjust it to meet their specific needs. It is of utmost importance that people with Bipolar have hope and belief in the ability to live with Bipolar and achieve happiness and success. Many, many, many people do so every day. I believe deep down that everyone with BP who has the proper resoueces and therapies available can find a way to live a full life and manage BP.
I believe that the people with BP who WANT to be happier and more stable drive themselves to do so by rarely giving up (and knowing when it is best to give up), learning to accept some medication side effects because of the overall benefit, and committing to themselves to do whatever they can to reach a point where enjoyment can be found in their lives, even if it sometimes comes with a wee bit of self-doubt with every step we take.
As someone who has benefited from CBT, I know it is intense, information packed and specific in its intent because it is not a treatment aimed at “fixing us,” but rather is one aimed at teaching us that we can treat ourselves bit by bit, in the moments that we can, with the resources we can. Optimal words here being, "We Can!" We were told that at the end of it all, some of us may completely benefit, some may not benefit at all and others may benefit somewhat… the degrees vary on how well we train our brains to adapt and react differently to different triggers and the degrees vary to how disciplined we are in both the short and long term.
If someone approaches CBT with the belief that this HAS to FIX me because nothing else has worked and this is SUPPOSED to work because that’s what the studies say, they will most likely walk away from it with more bitterness than when they entered because CBT (as with other BP treatments) doesn’t instantly inject us with success at the end of the program. It requires VERY hard work on behalf of the persons undergoing the treatment to make a commitment to themselves and their families to stick with it and stay open minded and have some Faith. If you did in fact go through the CBT program and concluded it was “crap,” then perhaps you didn’t give it or yourself the chance you both deserve.
I am so truly and deeply sorry that you have suffered so much and felt nothing works. However, I must respectfully disagree with your assessment that CBT and every other treatment mentioned in John’s series is, “…just another bunch of crap.” I firmly believe that our lives are primarily self-fulfilling and if you have convinced yourself that there is no hope for you to improve your life because of BP then it must be a very difficult time you have living in your own skin. I have been where you are. I underwent HUGE medication trials that included being immediately yanked from meds normally weaned on and off of because I have a non-alcoholic liver disease that hinders me as well. The symptoms of so many changes and my hospitalizations due to incorrect prescribing have been hard. The meds I’m on right now aren’t perfect and come with headaches, sometimes fatigue and a continued affect on my cirrhotic liver… but they are the best of the bunch and they are worth taking to avoid the alternatives.
BP is chronic. It won’t ever go away and it is unlikely that I will live to the end of my life without having another episode of mania or depression. Some choose to deal with this fact by avoiding it altogether and some may find it easier to “tolerate,” Bipolar disorder by shutting everything down. It may get so bad that hospitalization is required. It may do a lot of things. But I take my meds and implement MANY strategies in my life to make my life easier and bolster my ability to face an episode if it does happen. I only wish you could find a way to work diligently and endlessly towards having some peace. We all deserve peace, especially peace of mind. Best wishes jgriffin.
Namaste,
Sheri