Dark and Evil Thoughts (Plus the Neighborhood Parrot) - The Bipolar Question of the Week

John McManamy Health Guide
  • Do you ever entertain dark and evil thoughts? Here’s the situation: Below me lives an old woman with an outdoor cat. I know the cat’s name, but not its owner’s. I work from home, so I am treated to daily choruses of “Here, Mufasa! Fassi, Fassi! Where are you?” Don’t get me wrong. I adore cats, and Fassi is a beauty.

     

    The other voice I hear throughout the day comes from a parrot, who occupies a first-floor unit in the building ten or so yards across from the space I refer to as my world headquarters. Until about 18 months ago, this nearby unit was occupied by the neighborhood gossip, who used the footpath right below my balcony as her newsroom. I was very glad to see her go. That is, until the parrot moved in.

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    I will never forget the moment. I was lying in bed, looking forward to rolling over and going back to sleep when I heard a sound that did not belong to this planet. Sort of a cross between fingers running down a chalk board and the Tin Man without his oil can. I thought it was one of those fluke sounds that you never hear again, say from assembling an IKEA piece or moving a refrigerator across the floor.

     

    The sound persisted. Maybe someone was washing their plates too loud. No such luck. A few days later, I traced the noise to my new neighbor, the parrot. Fortunately, my system had started to habituate. Otherwise, one of us would be dead.

     

    Over time, the parrot expanded its repertoire to “apple” and “shower.” I assume the parrot likes apples. As for shower, I heard the parrot’s owner explain to a neighbor that she keeps her parrot in the shower. I have no problem with parrots in showers or, for that matter, any other place where the sound does not stray from its point of origin. I do have a problem with parrots in the living room with the door open, or, worse, on the enclosed patio.

     

    I swear, the parrot’s owner has her bird miked up, but maybe I’m being a tad paranoid.

     

    Okay, here is where my evil thinking comes in. Actually, evil is in the eye in the beholder. In a court of law, I would insist that my thoughts were pure and altruistic. You see, I am devoted to all beings living together in peace and harmony. So, as part of a noble experiment in interspecies togetherness, I would grab Mufassa and launch launch him in all his splendid fluffiness from my balcony and over to the outdoor enclosure below.

     

    Parrot and cat in perfect harmony - what could be more noble? 

     

    Okay, there’s a question in this. My story may be light and humorous, but we have all been in extremely dark places that have severely tested us. So:

     

    Tell us about your dark and evil thoughts. How do you cope with them in a healthy way? What happens when they run away from you? 

     

    Extra credit: Have you ever given into a dark and evil train of thought? What happened? How did you feel?

     

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Published On: June 17, 2013