Seven cartons containing my life arrived at my new residence yesterday while I was making a chili. Priorities are priorities. I ripped open the carton containing my kitchen gear and dived in for my zester. A minute later, I was in business. Zest-zest-zest – one peel to a lime into the pot, plus the juice. Now my chili had the missing zing and zap. Now I had a real chili going.
A marriage break-up may be huge, but life is about little things. A simple kitchen implement and suddenly I felt at home. That night I was able to serve up the ultimate comfort food. Today I will work on sorting out my non-zester possessions.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a long way to reaching acceptance. An observation about Kubler-Ross – the progression from shock and denial is hardly linear and sequential. I’ve been experiencing several stages – perhaps all of them – at once. The good news is the early stages of the cycle seem to be receding. But I’m willing to bet my life on the fact that they will linger for years.
There will always be a hole where my marriage used to be. I have to learn to live with it.
I live with bipolar disorder. So does Sophy, the very special woman I was married to. Our common illness literally bought us together. We met via my depression and bipolar website. Bipolar had nothing to do with our break-up. What may be crazy to other people was completely normal with us. The bipolar factor in our marriage was easy.
The hard stuff is what people have to deal with every day. Even in the best of situations, a loving relationship is difficult. The success rate is low. What we had was precious, but we were fighting against the odds.
A week ago exactly, I was moving my stuff out of our apartment in New Jersey. I was standing outside the car. Sophy was walking back across the parking lot from the dumpster. The sun at her back wrapped her in an ethereal golden aura. There was a bounce to her step. She was smiling. She was beautiful. This was the person I shared three years of my life with. This is the Sophy who will remain in my heart forever.
Published On: December 07, 2006
Living With6 Chronic Condition Guidelines to Live By
Facing the challenges5 Rules for Bipolar Relationships