The One Question I Couldn’t Answer

By John McManamy, Health Guide Friday, December 15, 2006

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Last month I paid a visit to Connecticut to give a talk to a local NAMI group there. A hundred people – probably two-thirds of them family members – turned up to hear me speak.My talk was about being a smart patient, which is the theme for my blogs at BipolarConnect.com and my website, as well as...

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Keeping Away the Holiday Depression

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erika diana

12/20/06 6:48pm

i have been living with bipolar since as long as i can remeber - ihave a ver y addictive personality and i recently started with the waking up and being depressed aspect - i never got depressed in the mornings- its the worst feeling in the wolrd- its like u wish that u never woke up and could have stayed sleeping . i even got on drugs - heroin because i hated the feeling of the meds and i felt better when i too the heroin - finally after too much of everything - too much of drugs - too much of depression - too much suicide attempts - i felt the urge to grab my own life by the balls again - being 26 with two kids and a husband - and everyone qround me dying - and no money to even buy food or pay rent most of the time- i got off of the drugs - detoxed myself , got on my meds- even though i hate them - and i even got over my anxiety and panic attacks- i have become a professioanl mmodel and i help people get off drugs - somehow i have a heart now and i am even doign clothing drives to help the homeless in the missionairies and i am spenign new years watching the ball drop with them after i bring them all the bags of clothes we got- my life has done a complete turn aroun d- there are still some days i just wish i didnt have to wake up or some days i dont take my meds and the i feel the impact of it the next day . your article helped me to understand y i refused to take meds for so long and y i feel now as i finally became an adult i am willing to take my meds- its because i am not trying to fit in anymore- i am just trying to live my life .

Cheri

12/20/06 6:57pm

Hi John, I saw you speak in Farmington, CT and was particularly intrigued by your visual explanation of bipolar disorder and depression "spectrum". Makes a lot of sense!! My comment on not accepting illness or taking medications: my mother has not accepted having any diagnosis for over 35 years so I know there is no easy nor perhaps single answer. However, I'd like to toss out the idea of role models &/or mentors. I feel that if my mother had grown up with a generation that embraced mental illness like any other illness it would have made a difference, but on a personal level knowing someone close to her age whose symptoms & experiences she could identify with thus opening the mind to listen to possible coping mechanisms (which might include medication) might be key. Going one step further, a role model who could express hope for the future and steps to success might inspire others to do the same. I feel NAMI's "In Our Own Voice" presentations do a good job of this. I hope they continue to reach out to new venues such as schools, in-patient units, prisons, youth groups, etc. Role models could help ease the isolation & stigma as well as facilitate acceptance so a person can move on to "living well" as you so eloquently state. Thanks for listening.

Joan Callahan

12/22/06 1:04pm

Thanks for your honesty. I am the parent of a 18 year old who will sometimes acknowledge his bipolar disorder and also refuses to take meds. It is his journey and very painful to watch, but it helps to hear the stories of adults who eventually find a path and balance. I belong to an online support group for parents of bipolar young adults (17-24). It is through the Child and Adolescent Bipolar Foundation. This online list serve has been a life saver for MY sanity. I am in touch with parents all over the country who are struggling with the same issues of parenting around our children's need to fit in and live a teen/young adult life with bipolar. It is the one place I can find support, laugh, and cry. It has also been a great resource when I have am looking for input on medications and behaviours. Our children are a long journey and our love and support is crucial as they continue to develop their brains and skills. They are still so young. Thanks for your kind words of compassion for us and your hard work to bring this disease into the light.

grace4u

12/23/06 11:36pm

I'm bipolarII. I've been diagnosed for 8yrs. I don't know what to say without it coming out as whiny or pity party. I am needing some coping advice. How do you handle the impulse (forrest gump) ones that just seem to bypass all intelligence you have? You know the ones that sound like a good idea at the quick moment it flitted into your brain in manic state. I hate this too.

mcman

12/28/06 7:58pm

Thanks, everyone. 1. Erika – I’m so glad you have found a way of using what you have been through to help others. The world is definitely a better place. 2. Cheri – I’m sure some role models would have helped your mom. That’s why NAMI’s In our Own Voice is so good. We badly need more of us out there. 3. Jean – I’m a big fan of CABF and I love having conversations with CABF parents. 4. Grace4u – There are techniques to put an inch of space between your thoughts and you acting on them. Cognitive behavioral therapy will teach you a lot of these techniques. It comes down to the Buddhist principle of mindfulness.

Darlene Carpenter

1/12/07 8:59pm

John You are the carbon copy of my husband. All the years of not understanding why nothing went right from college, the service to failed relationships. He has even shared dark moments of bi sexual encounters to me. He is now 46 years old. We have been together for 15 yrs. (and yes I could have left him)We lived together for 10 yrs until he felt he wanted to try marriage. I was happy beyond words. I felt he finally trusted our strenght of love to be able to weather whatever came our way. I don't believe we ever thought it would be this very sneaky and silent monster called bi polar disorder that would test us daily. To say it has been a roller coaster ride would not even come close to what I experience in our relationship. John has been on medication for 3 months now and seeing a phy. every 15 days to speak with someone other then me. I got so I was and am being overwhelmed by his thoughts and moods. I'm a mellow person usually but I have had to start taking meds for nerves and sleeplessness. A few months ago my beautiful long hair started to fall out in sections. I am having shots injected under infected areas to slow the loss down. Just recently John has started to traffic with inmates that he has on his watch. (DOC officer) I have found things and when asked about them he goes *******. Rage would be mild. I don't know what more to do to help him stay stable and out of trouble. He seeks out inappropriate situations. When I can I detour them but I'm tired and overwhelmed that it is getting worse with no let up in sight. Please help me help him. I love this man deeply but I don't see a good or happy ending for us. Thank you and God bless. Dar

kim

1/21/07 4:59am

there isn't much a person can do for another person who is suffering with the disease. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. It can be sometimes that until a person realizes they need help, then they can start to reach out to try and make a better life for themselves. The hardest step is the first one.

The One Question I Couldn’t Answer

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