What You Need to Know About Borderline Personality Disorder - Part l

Hi, Gale. I'm looking forward to your comments (and your guidance) as I post on this topic. There is a lot of controversy and a lot of ignorance and misunderstanding. By contrast, bipolar is a lot more clear-cut. So if I say something that either resonates with you or that you think is inaccurate please speak out.

As far as I'm aware, the books on borderline seem to be directed at people living with those with borderline rather than actual patients.

The good news is there is a lot more awareness now of borderline. NAMI, for one, has made borderline a focus. If you can get to San Francisco this summer, Marsha Linehan, the founder of DBT, will be a featured speaker at the national NAMI convention.

More good news. Opinion has shifted from you can't change to change is possible. Indeed, that the prospects of recovery are excellent.

And you know about DBT. I'm a big believer in mindfulness, which is the backbone of DBT (check out my articles on this site by clicking "Manage" >"Recovery/Wellness."

Let's keep the conversation going ...

Thanks for your response.  I've actually just found a book by McKay, Wood, and Brantley in "workbook" format that looks promising - haven't started it yet, but it promises "practical DBT exercises for learning mindfulness, interpersonal effectiveness, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance."  I'm normally kind of bad about buying books and then not reading them (since I have a touch of OCD hoarding behavior) - but I've got several days off for the holidays, so my plan is to get started right away.

I've intermittently been in denial about the BPD, and since I've been untreated for years it's relatively easy to pretend all that didn't happen, but recently I have been struggling with intense anger and in looking on the Internet for articles on anger management, came again across the definition of BPD.  Of course I have it.  The isolation, feelings of rejection, overwhelming feelings, crazy relationships, eating and drinking too much.  I never had mutilation behavior, but everything else fits. I have high hopes for some improvement with my new attitude of acceptance, the use of this workbook, and helpful websites like yours.  Thanks again.

Hi, Hope. Sounds like you're on your way. I get the impression that the acknowledgement and acceptance of BPD is 99 percent of the battle. In some cases, I would venture to say that once someone acknowledges they have BPD then they no longer have it. Let me explain:

What I tend to see is people diagnosed with bipolar who may have been told - either by their doctor or by acquaintances - that they may have BPD. The individual tends to find a different doctor and cuts off all contact with the acquaintance. So the acceptance - once it occurs - constitutes a major behavior change. The person finally acknowledges his/her life is a mess. The blame game stops. It's not other people's fault. It's not the fault of bipolar. It's all about their own behavior.

We tend to think of mental illness as "no-fault" and biologically-based. Certainly, BPD has the same no-fault biology as other mental illnesses. But my guess is that it pays to act as if fault is attached. That way, you can work on changing your behavior.

For instance, if you have been fired from three jobs in a row, chances are it's not because you have had the singular bad luck of encountering three bosses who are bastards. A lot of us would like to blame bipolar, then spend the rest of our lives unemployed waiting for our doc to get our meds cocktail right.

So - bingo! - the common denominator is you, biological illness or not.

Changing one's behavior, of course, is never easy, but you've already made the big change. A mega-change, a life-changing change. You've identified your behavior as the reason your life is a mess, and now you can get to work changing things. Overnight, power is in your hands. Congratulations!

Wow, thanks for the affirmation and encouragement.  I feel more powerful already.  I'm so glad to find your writing.  Hope you have good holidays.

We brighter people do not like CONTROL .. if your Boss is an "arseole" - just go find another job ... but when you interview the next Boss .. make sure you check him/her and TEST him/her out !!

Read "Finding Your North Star" and only connect with 'positive' people.

Changes life - big style !