Written by
HELLO there JOHN!!!
SO good to see you on here and to be able to read your great posts....
I agree with you that stress is a MAJOR NO NO for bps...yet there never seems to be a way to avoid it in this chaotic and hustle and bustle world we live in.
...UNLESS of course you live in an area that allows you to "escape" it all
....which FORTUNATELY I do, the foothills of appalachia where i can meander the backroads on our four wheeler and escape the stress of HUMANS, ringing phones, bright lights, crowds of people ARGH!! and all external stimuli that can literally send me MANIC in a nanosecond...or plague my depression even deeper.......
I totally agree that stress is a GREAT instigator of our issues at times and often a CAUSE of our "sides or symptoms"emerging ....even if we are not aware of the external stimuli and stress it is placing on the "fight or flight" area of our brain our SUBCONSCIOUS DOES KNOW AND PICK UP ON IT ALL>>>
Just last week my doctor told me that he has rarely met someone who is so "aware of their environment and the goings on about them" than me....he told me that I have to learn how to shut out some of the stimuli and that it would help me (mentioned something about a disorder called hypersensitivity and still need to check that out for i've been very observant since i was a wee kid!!)
...but goodness i don't want to become a zombie ya know.....
however i do need to reduce the stress, for when it encompasses me...LOOK OUT!!! IMPLOSION OR EXPLOSION one is going to take place no matter HOW i put up that reflective bubble or utilize my coping skills which i try to hone to the best of my ability....even THEY do not work when the stress level is so high...
SO i agree so much with you..BUT I have a question.....
We know stress is a fact of life for ALL people, but we rarely hear how to thwart it in our lives...how to avoid it or control its effects on us
....could you elaborate on some ideas....
I of course as you know utilize journaling (great!), drawing/sketching/painting, photography (OH how a pic can speak volumes for a bp!!! ), yoga, meditation, reading (esp the bible) and only when concentration is high enough to ingest what i am reading without rereading the page a billion times....and NATURE oh the best of best
...BUT JOHN how do we minimize the effects stress has on us???
How do we stop it from transferring or tranforming our "moods" our internal image, our psyche per say?????
Well so glad to read another of your posts!!
TAKE CARE and MISS YA
ctrygirl
Hey, Ctrygirl, many thanks. If you go to the "Manage" tab at the top and scroll down to "Recovery/Wellness," you will find about 5 or 6 articles I wrote on stress and managing stress. These are more in the way of general observations and guidelines. You're own insights and wisdom no doubt are your best guide. please feel free to follow up. This is an important topic very critical to our wellness.
first you say, yada yada .. our society is really messed up and it is making people crazy.
then your recommendation is to ignore this man's factual situation -- don't make waves or you might lose your job -- like that's gonna help him?
Have his loved one ignore the realities he is dealing with that are aggravating his medical condition as well? "what can i do to help?" how about, "is this job worth your health" "is this job worth the stress to our marriage?" maybe downsizing and living happier within the limitations he has would be better for everyone than the merry-go-round employment life of ok, then not ok, then scramble to be ok financially again life you seem to want to continue for this couple?
what?????
what about employer accommodations under the ADA?
what about finding different kinds of employment?
what about checking with the unemployment office to see
if the stress, if not abated by the employer, constitutes a
constructive dismissal making him eligible for unemployment
benefits and vocational rehabilitation?
sometimes i think that people need to get more information and have
other disciplines weigh in before they opine. And a wife who is not advised to
be realistic about the realities of bipolar ... and encouraged to think that it is surrmountable .... and that life plans can continue as if it didn't exist? I do not think that does justice to the person with the illness at all.
It does however mirror today's society that doesn't want to look reality in the face and wants to keep imagining they don't have to make any changes .. or ask anyone for help .... just keep us all islands (our coupled-islands) ... so darn American. And so darn harmful.
Sorry, but i've been there, and done that ... and can say without any hesitation that getting off the merry-go-round of being worked to death by an employer was the most effective action i have ever taken for my mental health .. my only regret is that i took so long to do it.
Bipolars are often exploited by corporate America because they are frequently workaholics, they are creative, they are smart, and they are productive. But if an employer is not willing to look at the long term viability of the person and only wants to cash in short-term, then it's time for this guy to move on. as fast as he can.
Hi, Emily. I appreciate your comments, but to clarify, Butterfly's question wasn't about getting her husband to leave his job. In this economic climate, especially, I would not encourage someone to just up and quit. Losing your job today is the equivalent of being pushed out of an airplane without a parachute.
Work is extremely stressful, but being unemployed with all its incumbent worries is even more so.
There's no easy answer here.
with all due respect, i do not think your response is 'responsive' to what I posted. The primary thrust of my comments was that Butterfly's husband has legal rights that he can exercise to make sure he is able to continue to perform his job; what he has a legal right to is reasonable accommodations. And that if the employer fails to follow the law, he can quit that job and qualify for unemployment insurance. I was pleased to see that Butterfly followed her own judgment rather than yours, and that the situation has been resolved.
What you suggested was nothing short of enouraging him to adopt the role of a victim and keep his mouth shut, and soldier on.
Had he employed that advice i feel very confident that his situation would have worsened and he would have ended up in a crisis unable to perform his duties .. and the job would have been lost to him; if it ended up with the employer terminating him he would have no recourse to obtain unemployment benefits and would be in enormous economic crisis at the very time he was in medical crisis.
My suggestions were based in two avenues (1) what action was most likely to improve the situation; and (2) if that failed, to make sure that her husband was best positioned for some sort of economic fallback.
Certainly you are aware of the fact that the vast majority of supervisors and employers are not familiar with the impact stress can have on bipolar; they also are not familiar with the requirement that 'reasonable accommodations' be instituted. Utilizing the avenue she did not only informed his employer of its legal obligations, it also served as a 'teaching moment' and education on bipolar disease ..... in the long run it is only when employees who have bipolar exercise their rights that old and foolish stigmas will be confronted and combatted.
That not only helps Butterfly's husband, but many, many more bipolars who want to be able to be accepted in the workplace.
Featuring Content From:
By using this service, you accept our Terms of Use. Please read them. The consumer health information on is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. You should promptly seek professional medical care if you have any concern about your health, and you should always consult your physician before starting a fitness regimen. Copyright © 2012 Remedy Health Media, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
"I have a theory about stress. Remove it from our lives and watch mental illness disappear to almost nothing"
That be as it may, and certainly removing stress would ease up quite a bit of one with Bipolar's symptoms... Yet, if you haven't already done one... do a sharepost about how Abuse often produces mental illness in folks or the link between living in an abusive environment as a young child and being brought up in one... may bring on symptoms of mental illness John.
Yes... how about a sharepost about any research linking child abuse or children living in an environment that is abusive for which the adults in the home are abusing one another... may or possibly often lead to that child developing Bipolar, Substance Abuse, ADHD, ADD, Anxiety, MDD, PTSD, or even Schizophrenia as they grow older?
See... I've come to know quite many folks with a form of mental illness over the years either through internet boards like this or through my work in MH agencies, or in my own therapy support groups. There seems to be a somewhat common background theme in the majority of folks I've met or came to know (not every single one but the overriding majority) that one was either directly abused in some fashion OR witnessed abuse in some fashion OR was brought up in a constant tension filled abusive chaotic environment.
Stress has it's part in mental illness. I do agree. External stress causes internal stress that then intensifies my episodes considerably though my episodes can occur even with a minute amount of stress occuring.
Yet, would like to see what you might come up with in regards to childhood abuse and whatever studies and or links you might find that links it or perhaps just your sharepost thoughts on the subject.
Hey, Tabby. Definitely agree. Abuse and trauma is linked to stress. Stay tuned ...
Tabby, I fully agree with you there. This is the reason why my husband has BP. His father was very abusive, by the time he was 12 years old his father kicked him out of the house and he was living on the streets. He was telling me just last night how his life with me is like paradise but his life with the world was another thing. He said he hates the world he hates everyone, he doesn't trust no one. His father has done a lot of damage to him and as much as he says he is over it I know he's not. On a regular basis he talks about his family and how he hates them all for what they have done to him. His life had been hell for him until he met me 5 years ago. Every so often he asks me where I was 25 years ago. I have tried to imagine what it had been like for him and when I do that I am in tears. Hubby was also diagnosed as a child with ADHD, he is gluten intolerant and he also now has osteoarthritis. I mean how much can a person take???
John, Thanks for that article but I did what you advised me against. The Health & Safety officer is now keeping a close eye on the supervisor to make sure that he doesn't treat my husband like a dog and risks the safety of my husband. My husband was telling me the other day how it feels weird but good for someone else to actually care about him. Yes he never has experienced that before. She doesn't treat him like a crazy person, she treats him with respect and she takes the time to talk to him daily to make sure everything is ok. Most people seem to keep their distance from him, treat him like crap and they don't even know that he is BP. I know that when he has a turn he shows it and I think that is one of the reason people seem to keep their distance from him.
Hi, Butterfly. Very happy things are working out for you and your husband. My role here is in the way of providing feedback in the hope of helping people make their own decisions. So I'm very glad things went well, here. All the best :)