As a person who suffers (and I do suffer every freakin day) with bipolar, I need to recognize my stressors because they can set me off like a fire cracker on 4th of July. I relapsed and began rapid cycling again just this past week and immediately went into to see my pdoc. Some situations (like being stuck in traffic), some people (the idiot at customer service), or just a random thought (she doesn't like me, what did I ever do to her?) would set my mind reeling. Here is an example of a typical cycle for me:
Time elapse: 45 minutes to 1 hour
It is like someone has a deck of cards and they are flipping them over onto a table top. I have until the next card falls to pass through the stage before entering into the next phase. Sometimes I'm not ready to leave the "happy" stage or the "crying" stage but I have no choice. My mind just moves on (like it has a mind of its own, no pun intended!) Sometimes my friends try to comfort me, but by then I am already in the next stage. It is like I was 2 steps ahead of the rest of the world. I HATE being this way. Friends leave you when you're like this because they don't know what the heck to do. They can't process or handle the drama that I create. If someone says, "Oh are you having another melt down?" I want to scream b/c it's not like I can control it. Important thing to realize is that they don't understand. Hard thing to accept is that this is the way a person with bipolar can be. We are not like people with balanced brains. Sometimes, we can't control our emotions b/c we can't control what is going on inside of our brains. Yes, everyone (balanced and unbalanced) gets angry but when I get mad, I can't just walk away or go do something to take my mind off things. THINGS follow me where ever I go. The only thing I can do when I start rapid cycling is go to my pdoc (thank God she is wonderful and accommodating) to have my meds. tweaked. I have to recognize my own stressors, but that's not always easy. I'm 19 years old. I haven't been at this for that long but since I was officially diagnosed 2 years ago, I have gotten a really good therapist, a good pdoc, a good support group, and a treat Mom and through each of them I have learned the "do's" and the "Don'ts" of this disorder. I also learned this week that as a person who has bipolar disorder (please do not called me "a bipolar person", thank you!) I am extremely sensitive to changes in the seasons. See, there are so many things out there affecting us. Summer is my happy time and so I never thought it would affect me negatively. A tweak of the meds here and a little pep talk there .... I'm OK ... for now. Know yourself. Talk to some one when you feel trouble brewing. It's ok to vent! Take your medication the way it is prescribed and take it the same time every day/night. Try to eat well even when you don't want to eat and get lots of sunshine. Am I preaching to the choir??? Life is hard. I've wanted to kill more than one person who has told me "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade". When things get tough, I get help. I can't do it on my own. I've tried .... if I could use my powers for good, I WOULD!!! Stay balanced, practice mindfulness as much as possible and always remember to feed the good dog .....Rosebud
that is me only I won't plan suicide. That's because I have anxiety of scared of dying. But I am about to drive my boyfriend away b/c I am always fighting or picking a fight and then I end up crying and all. I can't afford meds nor could I afford to go back to get my diagnois for this. But all signs point to it. I also feel hopeless and have no self esteem.
This has gotten worse too for every day I have been doing this to him. Something triggers it off.
Hello to All,
I can really relate to anyone who has experienced anger to the point of rage, self destruction and property destruction and even as far as hurting other people (mostly psychological, not physical). I was put on medication (frist Mellaril and Stelazine, then Risperdal and, now, Seroquel), shortly after being diagnosed with Bipolar I, for the intense rages that I often felt. I manifested my rage by cutting myself, at times; this really worked well for me, at the time of my anger, but I always felt awful and guilty after having done it - especially when I had scars, resulting from my cutting. I also used to throw things around and scream at my husband. I was so upset with myself after displaying any of these behaviors, and I desperately needed something to keep me from repeating any of these behaviors.
There are a few things I do to get my rage under control (other than medication): probably the most effective one is making myself breathe deeply - at least ten slow, deep breaths. This rushes blood to my brain and, as a result, I am able to think more clearly and rationally. I have also used distraction as a coping skill for my anger. I have learned to get rid of the anger by doing some kind of household chores, going to the store to pick up one or two food items I need, or pick up a magazine and read it.
There are two things I do, when I am angry, that are NOT good to do, but they work for me, at the time. The first is to light up a cigarette. Now, keep in mind that I NEVER smoked a day in my life until I was in the State Mental Hospital last year; I picked up a cigarette, at a friend's encouragement, and it worked to calm me down. That was almost a year ago and, unfortunately, I am still smoking, although I only smoke about five cigarettes a day.
The other bad thing I do when I am angry, is to eat some kind of comfort food. My favorites are Ben and Jerry's chocolate ice cream, macaroni and cheese or virtually any other food item that has cheese in it. Of course, the bad thing about this is that I gain weight, which I do NOT need to be doing. I have enough trouble keeping my weight down, because of the Seroquel I take.
I, too, agree that anger is something ALL people experience. What is different about it is in how we deal with the anger. I don't think that anger should be considered a "mental health diagnosis", although I DO think it should be added as one of the conditions a person with Bipolar can experience. I also think we (those of us with bipolar) tend to be more aware of our anger issues since we frequently deal with them in therapy.
Another way to divert your anger? If you have pets - dogs, cats, guinea pigs, etc., reach out to them when you are angry. There is nothing like the soft purr of a cat in my lap, to diffuse my anger. For me, my cats are just as good as any therapy session or drug.
Best wishes to all of you!
Erica
Hi, Erica. Many thanks for sharing your wisdom with us. You raise a particularly interesting point that I touched on in one of the articles I did on BipolarConnect on stress, and is worth bringing up again in a future sharepost: namely, smoking, comfort food etc to help with stress/anger issues.
Not all our coping techniques have to be "good for us" to be good for us. I'm not going to encourage people to start up smoking or taking up other things that pose obvious dangers. Nor do I condone people rationalizing bad habits in order to cope with life.
But there are times when the world gets to be too much, and you really need to reach for something. Let's try one example: A glass of wine in the evening to take the edge off. Maybe you will have a longer more stress-free life as a result. But too many people close to me couldn't stop with one glass.
I'd be interested in hearing more from you and other readers on this.
Hi,
regarding the use of wine, cigarettes, and food to soothe anger, irritability, and emotional discomfort, I have been doing this to various degrees since I was in my late teens (I am 43 now). Sometimes a lot, sometimes a little. The problem is that with age I realize that I need to pay more attention to my health, but at the same time when I feel lousy I just want to feel better, and so it takes a lot of self-discipline to stop at just one glass of wine or half a container of ice cream. It's all self-medication and totally understandable, but I don't recommend it, because all these substances are addictive, both psychologically and physically.
Most days it's hard for me to believe that I'm bipolar. The med's that I take (Trileptal and Seroquel) work so well for me. But when it comes to Anger, it's so fast and ugly. For me it's like someone has turn a light switch on. It's not slow to simmer, then to come to a boil. It hits it's boiling point instantly, and precedes to boil over. Unfortunately it's my husband who is in the path. Because it's from something he said. Odds are, there wasn't anything wrong with what he said. That's why it's so hard to control, or understand. This is when he turns and runs. He knows whats coming. He see the storm brewing, and starts looking for safer ground. Because he knows theres no correct answer here. He doesn't literally run. But he prepares himself to not react, knowing that this will make me even more angrier. It doesn't do the situation good to have two people mad. Well one person mad..and the other one out of her mind so to speak. He's learned over the years not to take it personally, but it doesn't lessen the hurt. I only wish that it stopped as fast as it came on. I wish that I was able to run away from myself. Instead, it runs away with me, and I have no control of it. This is the time when I start hearing voices, seeing shadows. This is when everything starts turning black, the room starts getting smaller. This is when I feel like I am being compressed into a small box. Theres no air to breath. Theres no windows to break so I can cut myself. This is when the voices start yelling at me that I should kill myself. That I don't deserve to live, that I am worthless. This is when I find myself curled up and crying uncontrollably. This is when I know that I can't do this anymore, it's just to hard. That it takes more than I have in me to crawl back into the real the world. This is when I find that I can get breath back into my lungs. When I can see that the dark is getting lighter. I can see windows, but fight not to cut myself. That the box is getting larger. That the voices are starting to fade, because I can control them once again. That I do deserve to live, that I am worth something. That the crying is slowly turning to hic-ups. This is when I see that my husband is still here with me, and that I am truely blessed to have him. This is when we start holding our breath, wondering when the next time will come.
I have been living with this condition since I was 12 years old. Lately I have noticed that I go through these emotions at a swifter pace than when I was a little younger; or maybe it is just that I notice them more now.
Being a woman I feel these are even more so right around my monthly cycle, so I guess add PMS to what I'm already going through and I know now why I'm single.
I'm afraid my husband will leave me. He loves me more than life itself and I tell him that when I'm angry, it's just best for me to be left alone and sulk it up until it passes. But then he feels sad for me. I'm afraid he might not be able to take it. I don't know why I get so sad, angry, iritated or too hyper sometimes. I'm on trileptol/lamictal/luvox/klonopin. i feel like a lab rat. i hate being bipolar. i want to die sometimes.
As a person married to someone who is bipolar, I really really appreciate hearing that you all go through this. My wife has some MAJOR anger issues sometimes and they seem to come out of nowhere. Well not nowhere but you know what I mean. I'm starting to learn some of the things that can trigger her changes. You all help me get through every day.
Thank you!
I've never been diagnosed as bipolar, but when I was reading this I was reminded about the early days of one of my worst depressive episodes when I would sit in the cafeteria at work, watching people walk past on their way out, and feel like I wanted to shoot every last one of them - just because. I really hate when that happens! I know anger is a "normal" emotion, but it can really escalate to abnormal proportions which can then scare the hell out of me. My dad was like that, can still be at times, and I just so never want to be like that - and I'm 60 years old and still afraid of it. Thank you for disecting it. It feels less like some "dark, secret" hole in my soul.
I WOULD NOT LIKE OTHERS TO BE ABLE TO REACH MY MIND AT ALL TIMES BUT YOUR ARTICLE;ALTHOUGHT THE SUBJECT IS "ANGER" MADE ME VERY HAPPY!YOU ARE DESCRIBING AND IN A WAY SHARING "THE STATES OF ANGER" ONE WOULD EXPERIENCE IN SUCH A HONEST AND REAL WAY THAT IF I COULD READ YOUR PAPER WHEN GOING THROUGH ANGER,I WOULD CALM DOWN...
IT ALSO IS A GREAT ARTICLE FOR OUR CLOSE ONES...
THANK YOU
today I was baking banana-cupcakes from my son's 17th birthday, and I was ticked off for baking them for him, because he doesn't bother to communicate. so in the back of my mind, I think that little sh$%. Yet I know he is my son, and I am supposed to be bigger than that as a parent, yet it gets hard when you are bipolar. It's like he is displaying his will, as if to say, I don't have to call you, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it. It's very rude, and I almost feel like giving up even trying to talk to him at all. The frustration I feel comes out in ways, like throwing the dishes I used to bake the cupcakes back in the sink, or getting sheerly pissed off, because I have to read a 4th chapter tonight. One time I did throw a cup of water in my mother at a restaurant, very impulsive. I wish Jack Nicholson were here with his shocking 'hair-dryer.' He-he. Think I'll go for one more walk. I almost have to now.
When I sense I'm hypomanic or manic, i never make an important decision, or at least I know not to now. I tell myself it's me and not the other guy who is off. I never send an email or letter or talk while irritable. I really have to use self control, which is hard when your every cell is bent on confrontation. Very important to avoic confrontation.
Kim in Ohio
If irritability is a symptom of bipolar disorder, then a lot of people are largely underdiagnosed. I believe that sometimes it's also largely overstated that anger & violence is attributed to bipolar individuals (as seen on recent TV shows)....we're getting a bad rap and it should stop......
Hi, Sunnyday. I hear you. Unfortunately, the general population gets exposed to mental illness in the negative context of news reports about deranged killers. In reality, those with mental illness are no more violent than the general population, but there is a catch: We are talking about people who have been treated.
I would not venture to make a guess what those figures would be when we lose control of our brains.
Final point: Anger may be a pathway to violence, but needs to be separated from violence. We all get angry, but are not necessarily violent. Moreover, expressing anger is often healthy - you don't want to keep it pent up. But we do need the skills to figure out its appropriate use.
I'm unipolar. All of the comments here have been excellent, but my experience wasn't mentioned...at least in terms that I would use.
I would describe my anger event as a small thermo-nuclear reaction that simply cannot be repressed. Something sets me off and BOOM!...I'm gone. The rage is absolutely awesome and terribly frightening to anyone that witnesses it. My poor family suffered my explosions for years. I go through a similar hierarchy described above:
1. I'm in a situation that I don't want to be in but feel I have to be in...it's my responsibility, it's something that someone has to do (me), and it is typically something that I don't know how to do at all or very well.
2. There is accompanying environmental stress of some kind. It's too hot, it's too cold, it's to dry, it's too humid, it's too windy....whatever.
3. Typically, there is an accident or a persona injury that occurs...like I drop something on a just-painted surface, or I bark my knuckles on some sharp piece of metal. This is a trigger-point. Once it happens, there is no turning back. The nuclear reaction is set in motion. There's a flash, a bone-chilling roar, and then the mushroom cloud forms.
4. Some inanimate object, tool, or device gets destroyed, particularly if it was the source of the accident or personal injury. It's almost as if the inanimate object has the conspiratorial objective of ruining my work or injuring me. It must be punished! Victims have been screwdrivers, a softball bat, a wrench, and a ladder. Those are the ones I can remenber - there have certainly been more.
5. The rage is followed by a rapid decent into black-hole depression. As the other person indicated, I am mad at myself for not seeing the event coming and taking evasive action, I'm ashamed, I'm incredibly sad, and reduced to feeling like dried up pond scum. This can last for hours or days.
Gradually, I come out of it. But, it is very painful. It results in a loss of self-confidence. I recoil. I become introverted and distant from others. I don't want to interact with any human being, animal, or even plant matter. Nothing living.
Fortunately, this hasn't happened in a long time thanks to SSRIs. The currently successful med is Zoloft (Sertaline).
Thanks for letting me express. This is the first time I have ever written this down.
My story is a little different then the comments I have just read but only in this way: At the age of 16 I am now 46, I had to have an appendectomy. It was supposed to be a 2 or 3 day stay in the hosp. But because I was over anestesied (to much anestesia) it changed alot in my brain, from the way it fires to the natural chemicals in the brain. I went into the hospital a normal 16 year old and came out a raging schitzoeffective/bipolar mess. I was in every type of mental hospital or hospital type living centers, from state hospitals to crisis units to assisted living for almost 14 years.
before I got my life back and was once again normal if there is such a thing to be normal. I still have my problems, but pretty much lead a normal life (theres that word again). It was the medication risperidol that gave me my life back I also take depakote. The people I associate with in my life from my friends to professionals when they find out about my history (and trust me it doesn't come up that much) tell me that they would have never known that I have mental illness and considering how sick I was for so many years. That is amazing. The problem with that is that I know it because of how I am inside my own head. I don't hear voices anymore, nor do i have thoughts of suicide or thoughts of cutting myself and I thank God everyday that my medication does such a good job on my brain, but I do live with anger. Its mostly in the morning and my poor husband gets the brunt of it. I just go off on him over the stupidest things. It can last 5 minutes or up to 20 minutes and I just go on and on. But when I calm down 5 to 20 minutes later I am completely over it and we have a great time together (we have a great marriage) during these anger outbursts, its like I know that what is coming out of my mouth is hurtful and stupid and started over the silliest thing. And I know that I am being irrational and I am saying hurtful things which really is not part of my personality but I can't make it stop until its over. Its like one of the other commenters said, it's like my brain has a brain of its own. And when I have finally said all I have to say about whatever it is that set me off once again. I sincerely apologize to my poor husband (and I know in my heart that that does'nt help him with the pain I cause him with my angry outbursts) There are no certain triggers that set me off, it just happens. It doesn't happen every morning but alot of mornings. My doctor is of little help with this and because of the way that I became sick I have to be careful of medication changes because anytime in the past changes to my risperidol or adding mixtures of meds has resulted in a trip to the hospital. And a trip to the hospital can take years for me to get well enough to go back in to the community. I haven't had any med changes because of this in over 11 years and have not been in the hospital since. I know I have put alot of garble in what I have just written. And I have never commented on any website on any subject before today. But I hope that maybe someone out there may read this and have any insight on what I can do to help myself with this problem. Thank You Pamela
This article was GREAT!!! I had anger of every kind for years, this was mixed with what I refered to a being "sugery" (which I now know as manic). No one understands the feeling of INTENSE anger where you want to crawl out of your skin and you just HATE people. My current male friend has NO understanding of mental illness nor does he even believe in it. My ex-husband had some understanding but he believed you could "control it". I was refered to anger management classes which were of no real help because when that extreme anger surfaces its so hard to redirect your thoughts. The thoughts of anger weren't even always there but the feelings were. Through meds (currently lamictal, wellbutrin, and finally lithium) my anger is so much more under control. For everyone out there dealing with BP, families included, just do the best you can, take your meds, and remember that "this too shall pass".
This article was GREAT!!! I had anger of every kind for years, this was mixed with what I refered to a being "sugery" (which I now know as manic). No one understands the feeling of INTENSE anger where you want to crawl out of your skin and you just HATE people. My current male friend has NO understanding of mental illness nor does he even believe in it. My ex-husband had some understanding but he believed you could "control it". I was refered to anger management classes which were of no real help because when that extreme anger surfaces its so hard to redirect your thoughts. The thoughts of anger weren't even always there but the feelings were. Through meds (currently lamictal, wellbutrin, and finally lithium) my anger is so much more under control. For everyone out there dealing with BP, families included, just do the best you can, take your meds, and remember that "this too shall pass".
This article was GREAT!!! I had anger of every kind for years, this was mixed with what I refered to a being "sugery" (which I now know as manic). No one understands the feeling of INTENSE anger where you want to crawl out of your skin and you just HATE people. My current male friend has NO understanding of mental illness nor does he even believe in it. My ex-husband had some understanding but he believed you could "control it". I was refered to anger management classes which were of no real help because when that extreme anger surfaces its so hard to redirect your thoughts. The thoughts of anger weren't even always there but the feelings were. Through meds (currently lamictal, wellbutrin, and finally lithium) my anger is so much more under control. For everyone out there dealing with BP, families included, just do the best you can, take your meds, and remember that "this too shall pass".
I learned about ten years ago, that I had to forgive what my parents and others did to me. Otherwise I wasn't able to move on to the next step of my life. That was to forgive myself. I had to forgive my mom and dad, for the beatings and mental abuse. For people thinking it was okay to sexually abuse me because I didn't know I could to tell someone. These are very hard things to come to term with. To except that it happened and to get on with my life. I had enough to deal with. With being Bipolar and learning how to except and live with it. To learn the ends and outs of what may have never happened if I had a better childhood. I'll never know. What if my childhood had been better? Then my children would have had a better childhood. Or if I had know about the Bipolar, I may have choosen not to have children at all. All of these are "what ifs". But I will never know. So I wonder if I have truely come to terms with these issues, or have I just stowed them away somewhere? I don't think I'm mad...or is this were all the anger comes from? Is this why when my anger comes out of nowhere? Are all the voices and shadows I see from my childhood? Am I seeing and hearing all the abuse I've locked away? I never thought about it until now. This share post isn't coming out the way I had planned. But perhaps it is coming out the way it should have. This is why I love this site and the people here. We can put everything out in the open, and perhaps find alittle peace within ourselves.
Hi, readers. Your comments here illustrate why I learn more from you than you from me. Many thanks for sharing your stories and concerns. Obviously, we need to explore the topic further, which I have done in my most recent sharepost, and which I am looking forward to doing in future shareposts. Stay tuned ...
Hi, readers. Your comments here illustrate why I learn more from you than you from me. Many thanks for sharing your stories and concerns. Obviously, we need to explore the topic further, which I have done in my most recent sharepost, and which I am looking forward to doing in future shareposts. Stay tuned ...
Wow! I have finally found someone who has touched the points of anger's fiery barbs on me. I needed to find some explanations, and relations, to my anger issues. I can finally somehow see, and mean really see, what, how, and why this thing torchers me. So my many times with doctors they don't get my anger issues, and that really MAKES ME ANGRY! And even as I am writing this I have had a flow blown fit over a snide comment and my head is racing, like a race car in the Indy 500, while I am writing. Please forgive my writing if it seems to ramble or not make sense. Anyway, what I am trying to say is this, yes the DSM should put anger in as a part of Bipolar I and II and that this is really a problem of Bipolar and not a normal persons anger.
Hey, Anonymous. I hear you loud and clear. I just returned from a board meeting where I really let loose. The situation clearly called for a forceful expression of my displeasure (and the outcome of the meeting supported my position) but I clearly could have been a lot more muted. I did settle down, but 4 hours later (right now) my mind is still racing and it will be at least another hour before sleep is possible. Which means a messed up sleep schedule, which is definitely not good. So - another forceful reminder of the need to manage anger.
Hey, Anonymous. I hear you loud and clear. I just returned from a board meeting where I really let loose. The situation clearly called for a forceful expression of my displeasure (and the outcome of the meeting supported my position) but I clearly could have been a lot more muted. I did settle down, but 4 hours later (right now) my mind is still racing and it will be at least another hour before sleep is possible. Which means a messed up sleep schedule, which is definitely not good. So - another forceful reminder of the need to manage anger.
What if you head that message and try to use all the things the doctors have told you than what? If I am a full blow manic stage those use of anger management techniques goes out the window. You see nothing but white light blinding your vision of every thing else but your prey. I have physically hurt people in the past and need help with something to calm me down. Have you any suggestions. What helps you in that kind of rage, because I can use anger management when I am a mild form of mania.
Sincerely,
Karen
What if you head that message and try to use all the things the doctors have told you than what? If I am a full blow manic stage those use of anger management techniques goes out the window. You see nothing but white light blinding your vision of every thing else but your prey. I have physically hurt people in the past and need help with something to calm me down. Have you any suggestions. What helps you in that kind of rage, because I can use anger management when I am a mild form of mania.
Sincerely,
Karen
Sorry for the late addition, but my husband's "anger problem" was just diagnosed as bipolar disorder. It is a mixed bag of relief (whew! finally a diagnosis) and dread (this will never go away). He is on Lamictal and Cymbalta now. He was diagnosed as unipolar depression for a long time (thus the Cymbalta) and then Lamictal was added recently. My biggest problem in coping right now is that when my husband is feeling angry, he picks fights with me and is offended (and angrier) if I don't engage. I am pretty sure I can sense when the bipolar is talking (or yelling), if you will. However, the conversation begins pseudo-rationally and is very difficult to extricate myself from, because according to my husband I am "walking away from him instead of solving our differences," or "powering up" by pointing out that dealing with any issue in the moment will not be productive. I am damned if I stay in the conversation (because I eventually become exasperated and angry myself) and damned if I depart the conversation, because my husband will accuse me of not attending to him.
Any pointers for a confused spouse who desperately wants to be healthfully involved and loving but at the same time tired of being abused by the disorder? My husband is NOT like this when he is not in a bipolar angry state. I love him and desperately want to find constructive ways to stay emotionally healthy myself while not feeding into the disorder, so that we can be together for life.
As the person in the marriage that has bipolar, my advice is to go with your husband to his therapy appointments ( I hope he has one) and psychiatrist appointments. It has been so very helpful for my husband to get some pointers for effective communication when I'm in a state of brain frizzling. I used to get so angry with him too when he wouldn't 'fight' with me. He would walk away because he knew that the conversation was going no where. Once we actually had a diagnosis of bipolar last year, it made SO MUCH sense. We've spent the last year each coming to terms with what it means and making the decision to make the best of it. We both are committed to our marriage through thick and thin...good times and bad...sickness and health.
I would feel so guilty about how I acted that I'd retreat further into myself. I wouldn't let him know what was going on in my head. Our communication has gotten so much better. I was so independent that when I go into depressions I start being so needy. He didn't know what to do with me. I went through a time of expecting him to be my all in all. That is way too much pressure for a spouse. There is a reason to have a therapist or a supportive group (I attend bipolar support). There may be NAMI groups or other ones supporting the mentally ill person as well as spouse.
One thing my therapist suggested is that we have a word or phrase so that either one of us could say it and the other would know that it wasn't a good time to 'go there'. Our phrase is BE KIND. I get really down and beat myself up for my thoughts and when I'm feeling criticized (even when I'm not), I'm not receptive to the words, or the topic is something that I can't handle with my brain swirling/layering/frizzling, my husband knows to stop talking. I've asked him to just hug me and reassure me that all will be well. If he sees that I'm deteriorating, the words will help me to know to stop...to just be...to not go where I can be hurtful to him. BE KIND is a gentle reminder to us both to treat each other and ourselves with kindness. It's helped us both a whole lot. I can't say enough about my therapist.
Having someone with for the psychiatrist appointments occasionally is very helpful too. Sometimes I'm hypomanic or depressed and can't really hear what the doc is saying. I can sometimes be untruthful, because I'm not believing how it really is. My husband can present a more accurate picture to the doc if I'm unwilling or unable to.
I know that your husband doesn't like to cause you pain. It sounds like you have a pretty good relationship. It does hurt at times to know that the life that we thought we signed up for with our spouse really isn't what we expected it would be. We have a very deep faith and know that there is a reason why we have to go through what we do...as spouses we complete the other person...we can either bring out the best in each other or the worst. We can choose look at it (bipolar or whatever) as a blessing and remember what helped us fall in love in the first place. The person with the mental illness is still the same person. It's easy for my husband to chalk up 'normal' behavior and reactions to bipolar...heck, I do it myself. We both have had to realize that bipolar is just a small part...sure it impacts all but it isn't all. We with bipolar are NOT our disease.
I hope this helps a bit.
God Bless,
Shelly
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These different types of anger you've listed could actually describe a whole host of differing types of anger that even those without a diagnosis of Bipolar go through.
Yes, the Bipolar is the added ingredient to the different recipes that make up each of your types listed but John... even "normies" have impulsive, grumpy, anxiety, etc.. anger types - especially if they have been stressed or under stress or hormonal (men or women), etc...
There is anger, irritation, agitation, frustration, exasperation, disappointment, in all those who struggle with Bipolar BUT there is all this in all those who also don't. I think it would be safe to say that WHEN EVERYONE starts to experience any of these anger types to become self-aware and respond in a more proactive and less destructive reactive manner.
Cause often times, those without the disorder can be grumpy or irritated as hell which then triggers those with the disorder to become agitated or irritated in return - and of course, vice a versa.
Hi, Tabby. Fully concur. I'm sure both of us have been in situations where we've witnessed the so-called normal person flipping out while we kept our cool. But the "added ingredient" of bipolar may be like the yeast that gets a rise out of the dough. Surprisingly, the DSM does not list Anger as a disorder in its own right. It's as if psychiatry regards anger as normal, which is a pretty scary thought considering that one misplaced anger outburst may cost you your job, your marriage, your freedom.
My guess is bipolars are more willing to critically analyze their own behaviors than the general population, so it makes sense to view our anger in terms of the bipolar ingredient so we can see where it's coming from and do something about it. Normies haven't had the practice - watch them flip like pancakes.
Anger is a normal emotional response.
It's the level in which the anger rises and what one does when it rises that may cause an issue.
Anger is not exclusive to those with Bipolar, nor is irrational and/or unreasonable responses to anger exclusive solely to those with Bipolar.
My point was... all human beings experience anger to some degree or another and when pushed or under stress, most react in what is considered "irrational and/or unreasonable responses."
This post, to me anyway, seemed to concur with many "friends/family" members who very frequently sharepost about their "living with it" person expressing anger, irritation, and frequent episodes of rage. The problem however is, those "friends/family" members themselves could have the mirror reflected back onto them at times as well.
Anger feeds off itself. If one is angry or irritable, it generally triggers a likewise response in those around them or anger manifesting itself into passive aggressive responses if those around aren't outright comfortable in expressing it.
It, anger, isn't exclusive to only those with Bipolar and a vast majority of society could do with anger management and/or stress management classes. I do however agree with you in that those with Bipolar who have come to learn and acquaint themselves with their own shifts also learn while recognizing - what perhaps they need to do to drop it a notch or two. "Normies" aren't in general, so mindful of themselves.
I do, at times, watch "others" flip out for often times trivial and/or petty reasons and shake my head. Not in amazement but in humor.
Don't forget pms. I wonder if feelings are stronger before, during, or after a menstrual cycle. Grr... Can the combo of manic-depression and pms trigger stronger emotions?
I'm bipolar and recently I had a very emotional loss and I am filled with rage. Being bipolar does it intensive it? Please answer.
Having Bipolar, and it being a mood de-regulation thing, does cause one to feel normal human reaction, responses, and emotions - when symptomatic or triggered - much more intensely.
If you are concerned, please speak with your psychiatrist and/or your therapist. It is normal to grieve and experience grief but if it is becoming too much to handle, cope, or too intense... you might want to speak to your professional folks asap.
he seems to start a fight for no reason the last time 2 weeks ago i defended myself and yelled back cause he called me disgusting names that no man would say to anyone then he dumped me cause i called him and then he blocked my number from calling hes 45 lives with mommy no job no nothin i own home and work i do everyrhing for him what did i do so wrong for him to have such anger towards me im always there for him im by his side thru it all he takes no meds and wont he has done this before to me if he doesnt want me then tell me ive asked him and he says i got so much going on he wont give me an answre never has he has no job no money no kids no nothing what the hell does he have going on ....nothing he always tells me im so good to him then why treat me this way i need to know its been two half weeks and no call what do i do i do love him but i cant wait forever either