Question of the Week - The Loving Kindness Challenge

John McManamy Living With It Author and Advocate John McManamy is an award-winning mental health journalist and... Send Message Subscribe: John McManamy

Wednesday, July 29, 2009
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Try this:Close your eyes and relax. Think of someone you’re very fond of, say a loved one. Picture this individual in your mind. Contemplate for a minute or two on the warm feelings you have for this individual. Now contemplate someone neutral, say a casual acquaintance. Try to summon up the sa...

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Exercise Results
earthtokaren
Thursday, August 06, 2009 at 12:19 PM

When I thought of my grandbabies, I got a warm feeling and could "feel the feeling" almost like something pulling my insides. When I thought of someone I don't care for, I tried to make myself have the same feelings, but I couldn't get the same results.

re: Exercise Results
John McManamy
Friday, August 07, 2009 at 11:14 AM

Hi, EarthtoKaren. I fail the test miserably every time I try it, but my first attempt (20 years ago) brought on an earth-shaking realization, namely that I was nursing far more hate and resentment than love. My life was in ruins and I had a lot to be angry about. But in a flash I suddenly realized that the problem was me. My life was always going to lead to train wrecks carrying that much hate around. Always blaming others, etc, etc.

The loving kindness meditation turned out to be a very useful exercise for me, helped me nurture a less destructive state of mind. Then I had to try to live a more healthy life. It takes time.

Trust me, we'll always fail the test. But it's a useful tool to working on making yourself a better person. Imagine if you could experience the same kind of joy from other people as you do from your grand kids. You'd be a much happier person. I'll be a grandfather in Oct. I can anticipate the joy. Can I experience the same joy from strangers? No. Can I experience 1/100 the joy? I think so. Ah, a far more joyful world that the one I used to experience. I changed me and I changed my world. Big improvement.

To readers: Please give this exercise a shot. It may or may not be for you. Or you may come up with an entirely different earth-shaking realization of your own. Over to you ...