Thoughts on Impulsivity

I do something similar to Rosebud... I wait and wait and wait.

 

If after some time, and I do mean some time (like a week), has passed and I'm still wanting and/or desiring... I may or then again, may not act on it. 

 

Yet, if I act on it - I've given myself permission because I've waited.  More times than not though, by the time the week has passed... I no longer desire or logic and reason has kicked back into gear.

 

With me, in 3 days I'd still be hot and heavy to do or act or spend so... to hang on and wait it out for at least 1 week... typically, allows rationale and reason to kick in.

The bizarre nature of having Bi-polar disorder is having to go the doctor for medication to make you feel LESS good.  Whenever I have one of those:  WOW I feel good!!! moments, the next thing I think is, I'm going to have to go to the doctor and get on some Risperal so that I can come back down before I hit psychotic mode.  I feel that by doing so I have escaped some harrowing, frightening, scary moments, but what about the feeling good time I missed?  Any thoughts

There's an old adage that says: "Look before you leap." Hmmmm... That sounds like it would make a good tattoo for my right hand! It will be there to remind me not to make any drastic purchases. Maybe I'll have it done tomorrow. And when I'm old, all my grandchildren will love seeing it among the wrinkles.... Thus goes the impulsive process. RE: "The Tiger Rag." Actually, I did download about 50+ versions of "Pachelbel's Canon in D" to my computer at work and played them all day long, repetedly, every day. I had my own office though, so it did not disturb anyone. And those who knew just laughed. I am a designer, so it was just part of the BPII eccentricity.

I have been doing that my entire life ! I am noe 58 years old and one by one my IMPULSES have made up my entire life and all the MEMORIES that I have from this life time !!!!!!!!!

People have criticized me for my seventy-ten-ten-ten rule for about two years. I keep seventy percent for me. Bills, splurges, food, and car payments which isn't always exactly seventy percent to the number but approximately. Finally ten percent for savings, investments, and donations.

 

Now, most people freak out about charity because they figure if you don't have the money then you can't donate. I've found that you can figure your ten percent by including or not including taxes depending on whether you pay over 30% percent on your taxes. I know what most people are thinking, "Well ten percent of my earnings after taxes isn't a lot." It isn't. Exceptions should be made for those of us who make less than 7,000 a year and humans do make less than  $3,000.00 a year so people are right 10 percent of 3,000.00 isn't a lot of money in the first place.  So why donate? It could be seen as an act of insanity! Yes, we see that and yet bipolar patients need to also perhaps have a little bit of money saved up for bipolar splurges. Wait, I said charity and splurges on 3000 dollars. Well, if being poor doesn't teach you not to spend a lot then I don't know what will. That said some of us never teach ourselves financial discipline and while training ourselves not to spend too much while hypomanic. Lord knows I have been there. Yet, I am somewhat able to restrict my spending to 60 a month in times when I have hypomania. How do I do this some of you might be wondering, right? I know that when I am hypomanic I am impulsive and I remain aware of the fact as much as I can. I go over checklists in my head and make sure that when I can't resist myself I am still essentially resisting. Depression expenditures count too!

I don't know how many fair trade chocolate bars I have eaten in the last year. There are quite a few though. Anyhow, trouble begins when we can't take care of ourselves or dependents and sometimes ruin our own plans when we do this. I can't explain all the ways I deal with this. I almost have a security level system for each financial failure and different levels have different security restrictions. It works for me. I am also a master I finding relief from my symptoms also and sometimes it does take a little money, but that's OK. Just like the person in the story whose impulse helped him. It was OK. On an apposite note, anyone who tells you not to save and invest is evil and shouldn't be trusted.

This is an irksome discussion for those of us with severe economic problems.  If my phone breaks, I can't get a new one.  If my 89 Mustang won't run, I'm on the bus.  When we lost our house, I did have some crying spells of doubt over the apartment I chose. 

 

But hey, if too much money is causing you problems, I would be happy to introduce you to my new support a poet program...(LOL).  Impulsive donations welcome!

About a year ago I came home from work at 7:30 am, go ready for bed.  I turned on the tv to help numb me out and put on the shopping channel-A BIG MISTAKE! FOR ME OR ANYBODY WITH IMPULSIVE PROBLEMS!!  I ordered a$2,000 mattress and box springs.  I really didn't think I had done it, I really thought it was a dream until I got a bill.  I talked to my friends and they were supporitive but couldn't help me, and I now have this mattress and box spring set.  I know now to never watch any shopping channel, when I go shopping take cash-no cards-no check book and as you say the 3-3 rule. I've learned, but when I get depressed it takes all I have to not go shopping, but I do it and it's helped.

Impulsivity can also be a trademark of ADD.

My Partner when hypomanic or verging on manic reliably and cyclically takes off from me, severing everything we share together at the mere hint of me suggesting he is not himself or showing signs of going high. e takes great exception to this and just takes off impulsively in rage, not to be herad of for many months often. He also has a tendency to suddenly take off abroad or rush off to see frineds he has not seen sonce the last high . Is there anything I can do to prevent him from leaving eveytime he becomes high? He becomes very hiostile and dismissive and rejecting and turns right against me. There seems nothing I can say or do that makes any difference until the epiosde ha passed, then he returnes full of remorse and shocked by his own behaviour. His mental health team keep saying thye have mot sen him hypomanic, as he is so plausible and convoncing of his wellness and seems to be able to fool them that it is all me and prob;lems woity ouyr relationship, which is tortally untrue. We are very happy together when he is not high, though he is not happy with himself as he is then low. He has no interval of wellness inbetween epiosdes as he rapid cycles.He might have a 1-2 day window period between mood swings when he can see his past behaviour, and communicate normally, thats all, and only on the way back down again, not at the way up. It is very distressing and wrecks our relationship, and is very hard to keep recovering from these long estrangements and the myriad damage caused during them , and potentially very risky situations, and near misses.