But we also badly need the logical corollary: What patients are doing wrong. I'm going to use "we," here, so as not to separate "us" from "them." For instance, are we refusing to take responsibility? Are we blaming others? Say, we're having trouble finding work. Are we blaming it on the current economic crisis? And how valid is that excuse if we haven't so much as bothered to contact one potential employer in two months?

And yes, our families don't understand us, but how much effort have we put into understanding them? And - hello? - calories don't take days off, especially on the holidays.

Okay, now that we are owning up to our shortcomings and our excuses, is there any way to tease out what is driving these behaviors? For instance, if we say we are looking for work but are not contacting at least ten potential employers a week or learning a new vocational skill could it be due to a fatal tendency to procrastinate? Are we easily overwhelmed? Do we have social anxiety issues? Do we adopt avoidant behavior to stay away from situations we perceive as stressful?

A number of studies have found distressingly low rates of employment and loving relationships in bipolar populations, but they offer no insights into the underlying causes. It is simply assumed that bipolar has something to do with it, and that no doubt is true to a point. But what else is going on?

Alas, we have no answers. Imagine if we had some hard research data on this. Then clinicians could devise therapies and educational programs to help us. Then patients could come up with good suggestions at support groups. Then friends and colleagues and loved ones could hold us accountable. But first, someone has to tap into our collective wisdom. We badly need your feedback on this. Comments?