Listening to Bipolar - From Both Patients and Loved Ones

Hey, Serendipity. These are some of the most powerful words I've ever come across on the topic. God, I hate this illness ...

those of us who accept what has been given to us and are trying to live our lives as best as we can.. to contribute as much as we are able.. and to try not to take so much from so many...

well, it just gets sorrowfully cold, painfully lonely, and deafening quiet when you turn and find not another soul or spirit 

IN my very personal opinon:

If you acknowledge it's the illness doing it... then you know there is management for it and so you choose to not take the steps to manage your illness or issue and instead use it as a justification for the inappropriate behavior/conduct... for which it's not. 

In acknowledging that it is wrong and thus one can't be held responsible, you are then recognizing you have done something inappropriate, and once you recognize and acknowledge... there is no more ignorance as to what you are/or have been doing. 

The difficulty here is that whilst I agree with much of what you have said and all other respondants, one apsect has not been really been covered. That is the fact that however responsibly many people with Bipolar Disorder do take their  prescribed treatments / meds and therapies, and however diligently they adhere to recommended self management techniques to enhance their level of stability, they are still dependant to a great extent on their psychiatrist finding the correct treatment for them, and we all know from experience how difficult that can be to achieve ,  how long that can take, particularly in the more brittle forms of bipolar disorder which are by their very nature much harder to stabilize for long periods of time if at all in some individuals,, may have been undertreated or misdiagnises for years,  such as  Biplar 2, and Rapid cycling and mixed moods states, or where  there is dual diagnosis.

Awareness ,acceptance , acknowledgement of  a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, and  the behaviours  and perceptions  it  often incites ,and compliance with treatment are all transient states which are reliant on someone's insight remaining intact. Often through no fault of their own a person's mental  insight will go  without their awreness or ability to halkt it or recognise it in an emerging hypomania or mania very quickly or gradually over a few days or weeks and be sustained for many weeks or months. All genuine acceptance and committed attempts to remain well, following every recommended step up to that point where reason and inisight start to leave will be abandoned and will fly out of the window along with sensibility, however responsible they were prior to this. So  ,therefore,there is a case for family , friends  to understand this and get to grips with what loss of insigt and awareness really means and it is not a choice ! And the sufferer  too needs to  just accept that in many cases, however, both parties try , the illness does often take over, and accept that the person is Not in Control  of it and at times simply Can Not be held responsible, nor can they take action at this point, however musch when stable thye have every intention of doing so, and believe thye will recognsie it whe needed, they may not, and they are most often not  responsible for that loss of control.

That is the very essences of this illness, in just the same way that however carefully and responsibly and committedly a diabetic may follow their diet, self help, medication and close monitoring of their blood sugar or moods, they will still have episodes of Hypoglycaemia, and Hyperglycaemia, and it is not down to not to taking resposibility or doing anything wrong. This is an illness, which is charcterized by Unpredicatable mood swings, and not all episodes can be self managed or medication or avoided even with the best adherance to treatment or with support. This is an illness.IT is not a behavioural  probelm  in essences though some individuals may have this on top of bipolar, nor is it a  personality disorder.These are separate condition srequiring diffrent approaches. 

Bipolar is is a biological , neurobiologocal illness like diabetes or epilepsy, or MS, which can often take control of individuals thinking and abilities without their ability to do anything about it at time as episodes cab creep on or come very frapidly unexpectedly, regardless of how responsible some people with this condition. I agree and accept that not all bipolar sufferers  do all they can yet ! But resistance and deial are al part of the illness itself. Like any chronnic illness, it takes time to learn about it, accept it, and to manage it,  as it is complicated and we all have different levels and abilities  when it comes to being able to learn  and retain information and apply it. Even for the medical and psychiatric professionals  too they are often poorly trained in this area, so it is a tall expectation of a lay person initially to  take oall this on board if professional wrestle with it, and can not find the correct treatment. Even then with all these in place relapses and remissions will occur. Why should we expect any more or less with mental  illness which is after all a physical brain illness.

We have all the sympathy in the world for someone whose brain tumour is grossly altering their behaviour or perception and awareness, yet we can not seem to see that it is the brain  chemistry and tissue which is in control with mental illness at times , and it is not the same as coming to terms with a chronic illness which does not affect the organ of thought and perception over which we have far less control than we would like to think we have.I believe that No one with Bipolar Disorder once they understand what is going on or even beforehand really  wants to be that way or suffer the losses they experience.

If individuals  did infact have the control, it would not be an illness, and they would not have a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder! Yes it is frustarting, yes it does make us angry, an no, abuse is not acceptablel, but it is  most certainly explicable and understandable in many cases. It is very hard too for some indiviiduals who have minimal insight to adhere religiously to treatment all the time if they have an illness which deceives then into believing they are very well when they are  actualy ill when manic, and makes them believe it is okay to abandon thier medication. How would any of us cope with that?

We are looking at this from a rational standpoint,  whilst either well, if not affected by bipola disorder ourselves, or whilst stable if  we do have bipolar disorder, not from the bipolar Mind Set when in an altered  mood phase. Some also do not experience loss of inight, apparently about 50 %   do, so  those who do not lose insight have a better chance of gaining awareness and self knowledge and retaining it and taking action.THis is never discussed or really understood I feel by the public, by families and carers , even some health professionals and patients, and can not be over emphasied as it is a much misunderstood aspect of mental illness.  We are not talking about addictive illnesses and the kind of denial that accompanies it. We are talking about denial brought about by loss of reason and transient states of loss of insight which accompany mania and hypomania  some  mixed states and psychotic phases , high or low. 

If one can not even remember what one said or did when in a mania when it ends, how can they learn from that, if events are just recalled through others memories ! All this needs to be taken into consideration when making these judgements I feel about how responsible or irresponsible someone  is for their behaviour and treatment. It is not as black and white as it appears to those who either have more awareness, are on better treatemnt now so are able to remain rational for long enough to work all this out, or for those who do not actully have bipolar , therefore , can look at this without the complication of transient loss of reason or inisight. I feel far more compassion , understanding and less blaming is required from all quarters. Those with Bipolar Disorder already have to live with enough self loathing and wrestling desperately trying to undestand why they feel and behave the way they do or why they can not control it when all around expect them to do the impossible. This does not help recovery acceptance or stability .  Give them and us a break !

galaxy, or hopefulness as I remember you being previously

apparently you were triggered by something posted and once again went into a very long and convoluted explanation as to how those with Bipolar are not fully able to recognize their own perception of reality as being askew much of the time

you have however, started to differentiate between those who have the most severe forms of the illness and those who have the lessor forms OR for whose symptoms are better controlled through constant attempts at proper management but for unknown reasons, that management goes crap through no power of their own but of that of the illness itself (ie., breakthrough episodes while doing all things correctly)...

*in these 2 categories... my personal opinion is that yes, much leeway is warranted and yet the person is not completely without responsibility or accountability of their actions

You must note that there are those, who are actually diagnosed, who just simply refuse to accept responsibility for themselves and their illness and do not seek out or even attempt to make effort to obtain any management and/or treatment.... instead, deny said disorder and continue to cause destruction and commence with sometimes dangerous and inappropriate behaviors and impulses

* With this category... the one with the disorder is responsible and accountable in my personal opinion because they've been diagnosed and in as such, treatment was discussed and offered but refused

There are also those, of which my personal opinion was more related to, that use the disorder as a form of manipulation in a effort to obtain advantageous benefit over another.  That is... with malicious intent, give in with ease to and do inappropriate behaviors simply because the disorder awards them the ability to do so and thus use the disorder as the excuse when confronted as a means to escape any responsibility or accountability.  I know several from this category...

I am, at this moment, having a strong and seemingly overwhelming impulse to act on a thought.

I am struggling with the resistance to act on this impulse.  I am winning the battle thus far but it is a true struggle.  History tells me that if I were to give in to this strong impulse, things would likely not bode well for me or my loved one who depends on me AND yet... my thoughts swirl that it would provide me some relief.. albeit a small period of relief perhaps.

Now... I could simply give in to this impulse and later... if there is one... say "you can't blame me, I have Bipolar remember? and this is part of my illness." but the truth is... I can either continue to resist and try to seek out help and reinforcement OR fall head first into commencing on the impulse cause it's easier and my mind tells me I'd feel better. 

If I were to act... your long winded thing here gives me the freedom to simply do so because I have Bipolar and I'm neither completely responsible, nor should I be completely accountable for anything I do while symptomatic.  Certainly frees my mind a great deal.

Thank you Galaxy.  Thank You.

It is HUGELY important to be honest with your children (age appropriately) about being & living with bipolar disorder. Model for them how to live happily & sucessfully in managing your disorder rather than having the disorder manage you. They are at increased risk of developing it & teaching by your example will greatly help them in managing their own illness if it occurs.