Very Down in the Slumps!!!!

Mirinda - I know exactly how you feel, its like your emotions are controlling your life and you can't even control your own emotions. The only way I can make it thru each day is 1)repetition (get up at the same time, exercise on a regular schedule, take meds regularly, etc.) and 2)figuring out what brings me pleasure, even just a little pleasure, and doing those things every day.  On my list of pleasures I have: Work as little as possible but get the job done, eat 2 100 calorie sweets every night, watch Raymond, Sopranos, The Office, and the Braves baseball, lose myself in a book. Oh, and online shopping.

What I'm trying to say is (1) that you have to force yourself (I know its hard) to find whatever meds work best through trial and error, and (2) think of things you like to do and do them for yourself every day. I also think you should see your pdoc more than once in 7 months. Therapy is so good for me, I can let my sadness out and he listens and cares. I isolate myself a lot so its good to be with someone who cares no matter how much of a downer I am sometimes.

I think I'm going on too long but I hope you find a way to settle down your episodes and really take care of you. This is not going away, so you must find a way to deal. Kathleen

I've felt the same way you do now.  My way to deal with those feelings was to fight fire with fire and to try to understand myself so that at least one person understood what I was feeling. 

I'm kinda OCD about this stuff, but I bought a three-subject notebook.

1) For the first section, I probably read 20 different books on bipolar disorder, all of them checked out free from the library or loaned to me by my counselor.  I took notes about whatever interested me, helped me understand myself, or gave me ideas on coping.  It helped me understand the disorder itself. 

2) For the second section, I started a journal about my experiences.  I didn't talk about my schedule or family or anything else, just about how I felt that day and whether or not that changed throughout the experiences of the day.  It helped me understand how the disorder affected me personally.

3) For the third section, I wrote things that made me feel happy.  I copied down a lot of quotes, stories, things my family or friends said that gave me hope, happy memories, etc. so that I'd have something on hand, ready for the times I was about to give up.  It really helped too, because by the time I'd read it all, at least life wasn't worth giving up.  Look at how much I'd lose!