This is the first time I'm on this website, my exgirlfriend told me about the website.
I very sad at this moment because I read all the things she wrote on her profile.
I understand that she feels like she feels but people without this disorder does not understand the normal day that you go thru. I was only recently diagnosed with Bipolar a year and a half ago and prior to that I had severe deppression. I went thru a lot of treatment to get to where I am now. I don't understand this disorder myself and is still getting to know wat I'm dealing with but most of the time I just want to give up because I can't understand myself and other people can't understand me as well. I'm so tired of fighting every second of the day. I'm actually on such a low I can help myself. I don't want to eat, sleep, talk to anyone and it's difficult for me to go too work. I just want to knock my head against the wall. I can't explain why I do things most of the time I forget and it is as if life just go on and I never want to look back is because I hate what I do every second of the day. I would not even be able to read this after I wrote it because it's so sore and ****** UP (sorry for the ugly word). I actually try to help myself to go to the phyciatrist every seven weeks. I'm going for EEG and a Catscan all the tests on Friday again. Still 1 day feels to much what is there to look forward too??? At the moment nothing means anything to me... I dont even care what happens to me now. Last week I went thru my manic impolsive moods and this week I'm deppressed and it changes like a dumb wheel that always just go on and on and on... So tired of these feelings. Just when you think you fine your not anymore. Anyways I'm trying and cant talk anymore it is too much...
