I have to agree. ANYONE reading this who is using substances to self medicate or even to " enhance " a mania please think about what you're doing.
If you have bipolar this kind of abuse will only further aggrevate your brain chemistry.
I would guess there are MANY of us who have gone down that path
and feel as Ned does. Looking back with the thought that this illness might be managed much better had the use of drugs not been involved.
The sad part is that when you are young you don't care about long term
effects of your actions. There may be some unresolved anger going on as well causing an attitude of " I Just Don't Care ".
Rest assured when you reach a certain age ( usually mid-lfe ) it occurs to you that maybe some bad choices were made.
Check out the average age of those attending AA and NA meetings.
There are usually people with mood disorders there as well.
Think about it.
Time doesn't play favorites and the rules of life don't change
just because you don't like them.
Been there. I self-medicated with the same substances throughout my late teens and the early part of my adult years. I got cleaned up when I got pregnant but after having a healthy baby (thank God) I went back to old habits. I was 37 before I was diagnosed because I never had a full-blown mania and was treated for depression on and off over the years. I wish I could go back and change a lot of things and sometimes I can't get the memories out of my mind of the stuff I did. My most recent break from reality put me in the hospital and my current therapist is helping work through the bad memories (add "self-induced" PTSD to the list of dx's).
I usually don't participate on message boards but I am having a harder time bouncing back this time and the connection to others is good.
Same advise - if you or someone you know is abusing drugs or alcohol and exhibits bizzare behavior think about getting them some help - it it's you - get help!