What do you do when you just want to die? My marriage is on the rocks, I have three children age 3 and down....I am miserable and I am a miserable person. I love my children but I am not happy about being a mom. It sounds horrible doesn't it? Don't get me wrong...I take very good care of them, I just feel like I am stuck in a job that I hate...but at the same time I love my children...it just doesn't make any sense. My husband is unsupportive and always plays the "crazy card" on me. Everything is my fault because I have bipolar didn't ya know? All of my family lives in another state so I feel very alone here. I try reaching out to my in-laws about my issues with him but my huband always tells them an opposite story and says I haven't been taking my meds. In other words he totally discredits me. I look back at my life and I can't seem to recall a time that I have ever been truly happy. I really can't imagine continuing down this road...making everyone around me miserable in the process. I really just want to die. My children are still young enough that they wouldn't remember me so I don't think that they will suffer too much. I am on lamictal and it doesn't do a THING for me...anti-depressants make me even more suicidal...NOTHING IS WORKING!!!! I saw a lecture on Oprah by a man who is dying of cancer...he said everyone can choose to be a Tigger or an Eaor...well what happens if you are an Eaor and didn't choose to be that way?
