Negativity.....

by kpmcinto
Sunday, October 12, 2008

kpmcinto is ....on a never ending rollercoaster Living With It Hello. I was just diagnosed with bipolar II. Everything that I... Send Message Subscribe

kpmcinto

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My question is simple...how do I stop being so negative? I never see the brighter side of things and my cup is ALWAYS HALF EMPTY!!! I am so sick of all of this pessimism! What to do? Also I have been a mess these past two weeks! I feel so irritable and I am being NASTY to my family...it's like the...

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Feeling like a jerk...AGAIN

Untitled Comment
Chris
Sunday, October 12, 2008 at 03:55 PM

If you find the answer please let me know. My cup is always half empty as well and these past couple of weeks for me have been a living hell.

good luck to you Chris

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re: Untitled Comment
hobie
Sunday, October 12, 2008 at 07:02 PM

What meds are you taking? Whats your diagnosis?

What you speak of is a condition of BP1 disorder its called manic depression, its a mood disorder mostly affected by Stress. It causes confusion and Rage with me.

If youve had problems for weeks you need revisit a PDoc or get a new one Their are many Meds that will help with dealing with your issues your having. Finding the rite med and doc takes time, be patient. If their someone in your life causing stress you need to stay clear or have a talk with him, when your Manic you support not stress.

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Cup half empty.
Hopeful mom
Monday, October 13, 2008 at 07:19 AM

Sometimes when you're exhausted from dealing with the every day, you need a break from it all. After putting your family first all the time, you need something for yourself.

Find something that's just for you that makes you happy.

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Seeing the bright side of life
Vicki W.
Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 06:48 AM

I too seem to have that problem too.

But you know what?

Life is a challenge.

Yes you will always see the bad instead of the good.

But what if you and I could just start seeing good in all that is around us.

Make Today a special day.

Just Today, don't worry about Tomarrow.

Gift it a chance.

It will take time.

I am still stumbling myself.

But I pick myself up and get on with seeing

a good life ahead.

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Attitude and Actions
Les
Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 08:38 AM

Attitudes and actions are dancing team partners - the performance of one affects the other. However, it sounds like your attitude is taking the lead in your life's dance. I suggest you choose to let your actions take the lead. By this I mean, take positive actions such as performing volunteer work (even though you may not be driven to do so). The act of doing positive activity will eventually rub off on your attitude.

If however taking action seems overwhelming, break the deed into small steps. I heard this quote recently that applies in this situation: "Inch by inch life's a cinch. Yard by yard it is hard".

Les

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Hello
otterlo
Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 09:11 AM

I think it is much harder than just having a postive attitude. Maybe you need a medication adjustment and if you do not take medication, I think you should consider doing just that. Do you have a diagnosis of bipolar? Also, I think that therapy might be very helpful. If you do not have health insurance, I know that all of these things are really difficult to get. My best wishes go with you...........Pam

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Untitled Comment
Anonymous
Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 09:13 AM




Acceptance and awareness are important factors. Your comment indicates that you have the latter. You are aware of your behavior. I don’t think there is a magical cure. You have to work at it. You have to genuinely want to stop. It cannot be just words, often triggered by a mate possibly tired of the mood swings and threatening to leave.

If you are on meds. Take them regularly. If you don’t see any progress. Change your meds. Work with you medical support team. This can be a frustrating process but remember…you genuinely want to change. Change is work. I can only hope that you have a family/friend support team as well as they can be your backbone if you let them.

My family and I are victims of this type of behavior. It is hard for all. I wish you the extreme very best. Keep trying.

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Don't Give Up
counselor liz
Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 09:26 AM

Have you been checked out for a physical problem? Do you have a therapist? If your pcp gave you meds ideally you need a therapist also. You can be helped with processing and managing anger. Don't give up.

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A simple answer to a simple Question....
AngelicaP
Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 09:26 AM

Jesus.

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Dealing with rage
Mark Juliano
Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 09:54 AM

First of all, what you describe about anger is normal -- that is for someone with Bipolar I or II, and remember there are millions of us. The reality is that sometimes there's nothing you can do right that moment. That's part of the illness. Anger and rage were my biggest issues. I'd get angry for seemingly no or little reason.

OK -- so what can you do? First, get out of the situation. If you're fighting with someone, then physically get away. Go to another room. Take a walk. Watch TV. Whatever.

There are certain medications that deal with short-term anger -- ask your doctor. You can also try using cognitive skills. Ask yourself -- is it really that bad? What's the worst that could really happen? etc. Talk to your friends and partner, and be open and honest.

As far as negativity, that's depression. I was negative for about 10 years even though my life was fine by anyone else's measure. Again, what can you do? For me, medication was the key. I tried 11 different anti-depressants over 10 years in different dosages until finally a combination worked. Yes, it's frustrating, but you've got to keep trying. Your life is too important not to. Good luck.

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re: Dealing with rage
Cara
Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 10:30 AM

I was reading this about negativity. I wouldn't say I don't have it but I'm not ususally out spoken about it much. I've been on many depression med's like you said. I was wondering what combination is working for you"? I've been doctoring with another dr for about 2 years at least maybe 3 soon and I know she thinks I'm much better than when I first came but other than outward appearance I'm so off everything. I was also diagnosed with ADD and do know if it causes my depression or the other way around. I don't really think I'm very depressed right now other than so unorganized, late, tired off track. Don't know if you can help.

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re: re: Dealing with rage
bipolarceo
Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 10:54 AM

First, you have to understand that proper medication is highly personal. It's literally a function of your DNA. What works for me, may not work for you. In addition, I've found that the side effects are more of an issue than the medications. While many have worked, they've also made me tired, sleepless, anxious, etc. For me this means that I take relatively low dosages which minimize the side effects.

I have been on many different medications over the past 12 years.

For hypomania, it's been almost exclusively Lithium. It works great for me, and has no side effects.

Right now I take:

Lithium

Wellbutrin (depression)

Prozac (depression)

Xanax (sleep aid - I no longer need it for anxiety)

Zyprexa (sleep aid)

Resveratrol (supplement)

Omega-3 fish oils (supplement)

It's taken 12 years, but finally this combination works!

So you know, I've also taken Paxil, Zoloft, Celexa, Lamictal, Alprazolam, and others I can't remember.

If at first you don't succeed, try try again

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1/2 empty
gemii1
Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 10:24 AM

I'll try to make this short. my son is Bipolar. Yes, alot of it is attitude; I notice when he

does do something that he enjoys (after pushing him gently to do it) it helps a great deal. The negativity is also attitude. How to change it? Simply work at it one moment at a time. My younest son is diagnosed with Bipolar, ADHD, Oppositional Deiance Disorder, and OCD. Three of these anger, rage, and negativity is a very huge part of the equation. Unfortunately, once my son gets on that "freight train", as I affectionatly refer to his long winded and hurtful episodes, he feels the need to stay with me. He is afraid of being alone and hurting himself or tearing something apart and losing it completely. So, I block him out because the disrespect, crude, hurtful words spew from his ragea and can last for over 2 hours (until he runs out of steam/coal). Then he just lays down and falls asleep for the most part. Now he goes through this episode and when he runs low on coal he then can walk away and calm down on his own. It's overwhelmingly difficult to watch him go through this and to deal with being the target for his rage. But he needs to get it out and let it go!! As long as I do not feed into it...he will exhaust himself.

The episodes were different when he was younger. He was physically violent as well and I would have to swaddle him in a blanket and listen to him scream and yell for hours, yes more than 2, until he exhausted himself. He has matured somewhat since then and his meds are different now since then; but the negativity is always there...even when you can SHOW him how good he is at something! It is a trait of the disorder(s).

A brief note to boot...I am a single mom with minimal support if any at all. I carried him alone and raised him alone along with my oldest son who has major Depressive Disorder and Asperger's Spectrum Disorder. Even with all this I still have hope for my children. My oldest needs more help than my youngest. My youngest is self-efficient if and when he needs to be; my oldest is not in various ways.

I wish you love.

There are brighter days.

One thing in particular to help lift your mood is have natural light throughout your home...sunlamps! They do help consistently. This time of year is the beginning of most difficult times we all experience. Do everything you can think of to help yourself, like the lamps, music you enjoy, or a different type of music...native american meditative music or others (the music or natural sounds of a storm or waves or birds (whatever) does change your breathing and your frame of mind, thus your entire mood...just open your mind and listen).

Peace.

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Always Half Empty
HeyJude
Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 10:47 AM

There are periods of time when I can TOTALLY relate to what you are going thru right now. It always passes, but at the time it seems that the feelings of anger and rage will never end.

If your rage continues, you might seek h elp with the problem. There are anger management classes out there that might be helpful. Other than this, I cannot offer much help. I struggle myself when anger sets in - and try to distract myself and hope it passes. I get angry at myself when I have difficulty dealing with my illness, and then the anger seems to permeate into all areas of my life.

Hopefully by the time you read my message, things will have improved for you.

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Untitled Comment
William Malo
Thursday, October 16, 2008 at 12:24 PM

Establish a close professional relationship with your psychiatrist and by all means make the effort to find the correct medication. If you're not getting the rest you need it, staying positive will always be an uphill struggle -- sedation is vital for tempering periods of malaise and irritability. A sleep aid or an anti-psychotic like Seroquel will do wonders for breaking the transference and excessive rumination. A good night's rest is essential for a fresh start each day.

You must also find a counseling resource -- can't beat rage with meds alone. Rage stems from the myriad poor messages we received throughout our childhood and they just don't go away. They're all neatly tucked away in our unconscious. They boil to the surface at the first trigger and the transference takes over -- while they are directed at ourselves (self-hate) we tend to dump on everyone else out of confusion and frustration.

Talk therapy is the only way to work out these little kinks in our psyche -- you must know the root source of your anger -- only then can you begin to control your rage. I had to go through this and it was/is a hell of a lot of work, but well worth it. There are many like us and it is never easy, but there is no reason to be a victim of your own anger and negativity. Good luck, but remember, be sure you do the work, because luck won't be enough.

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Untitled Comment
Robbie Capps
Friday, October 17, 2008 at 01:03 AM

The best way i know to tell you how to deal with it is never let what other people say get to you. Find one thing in your mind that makes you happy, or something in your home, or in your life that makes you happy and think about it all the time but never let what other people think get to you if we ll did that no one would ever progress in life.

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Some ways to combat negativity
MSWintern
Friday, October 17, 2008 at 01:46 PM

First of all, although I do not yet have my professional license, I do have Bipolar II, so I can speak from experience.. What you describe as Rage+Negative attitude sounds a bit like a "mixed state" some of us are lucky enough to be hypomanic and depressed at the same time! Seriously, the thing that has worked the best for me is the awareness that you demonstrate, proper medications and Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. I intend to specialize in this once I finish my degree. One thing DBT tells us is to acknowledge that judgement in any form is not helpful. For instance, if you judge yourself for being negative, you get more negative. If you judge things as positive, you are still placing judgement and you will blame yourself when you don't have it. Switching your attitude is really hard, but if you practice for 15 minutes a day it helps some. DBT teaches you not to focus on how full or empty the glass is, but rather just notice there is a glass and it has liquid in it. If you sit quietly with your rage for a few minutes, instead of focusing on how angry you are and how you have no reason to be angry etc. you just spin your wheels. Instead try thinking "I am angry" "My fists are clenched" I notice that my chest is tight. When you do that, you realize, "ok I will unclench my fists now" when you relax your fists, you can move on to breathing in such a way that your chest isn't tight. These are just examples, I don't know what your rage does to you... but I have found that doing similar things allows me to be in the middle of a hypomanic episode and still capable of working with special needs children... I don't yell at my husband, and I don't end up in the hospital. Talk to your doctor about meds and see about finding a DBT or cognitive therapy specialist. Social workers are required by their professional ethics code (NASW) to do pro bono (free work) with people who don't have insurance. I hope I have not been too long-winded and that this helps you. Please remember that it takes time to make the kind of progress you expect of yourself and that doing it in small steps is less overwhelming

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Humour
Aliks Roze
Monday, October 20, 2008 at 06:23 PM

I still haven't been able to defeat my pessimism.

rather, I make fun of it. places like http://www.tshirthell.com/ help.

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Same old stuff
Christine
Tuesday, October 21, 2008 at 07:31 PM

Dear Friend,

I understand. So do many of us. I am my own worst enemy. In I have learned what Mom meant that the glass is half full. I pray you will also. It is one thought at a time and the best thing is you realize this and are seeking help. Good luck,

your friend.

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Negativity and Anger
Betty
Wednesday, October 22, 2008 at 04:28 PM

I am going through the same but I have a good reason. My son is also bp and I'm seeing some not so good changes in him but at the same time my job and the people in it have become intolerable to work around (not being paranoid - I make sure I ask competent trustworthy people for their take on what is affecting me). I am so stressed out, can't remember where I'm driving, and so full of anger that I stay awake at night with racing thoughts, rehearsing what I would like to say to all of them and going over and over in my head ideas, thoughts, rage, sarcastic thoughts, etc.

But since I'm bp, too, and recognize all these symptoms and know that my mental health is at stake, I immediately called my psych, they changed some meds, and I can't say I'm great, but at least the racing thoughts are not keeping me up at night, I can go to work without feeling like I'm going to be sick to my stomach and can deal with the most irritating person of the group.

So my suggestion is call your doctor if you take meds and explain exactly what you are feeling and see if they can't tweak your meds and get you in to talk to a therapist. You shouldn't have to go it alone with feelings of negativity, anger and pessimism.

Good luck.

Betty

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Untitled Comment
cristina lauria
Friday, October 24, 2008 at 08:59 AM

Hello I noticed your post and want to recommend my fiances website to you. He specializes in negativity and replaces it with positivity his site is awesome and has valuable info to get you out of your rut. He is a Motivational Speaker, new age. GOOD LUCK, AND IT IS JUST A PHASE! YOU ARE TO PRETTY NOT TO HAVE THE BEST ATTIUDE!!!!

Cristina Lauria from Orlando!

www.HOOMANCAN.com

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I HAVE THE PERFECT ANTIDOTE! IT WORKED FOR ME SWEETIE
cristina lauria
Friday, October 24, 2008 at 09:02 AM

Hello I noticed your post and want to recommend my fiances website to you. He specializes in negativity and replaces it with positivity his site is awesome and has valuable info to get you out of your rut. He is a Motivational Speaker, new age. GOOD LUCK, AND IT IS JUST A PHASE! YOU ARE TO PRETTY NOT TO HAVE THE BEST ATTIUDE!!!!

Cristina Lauria from Orlando!

www.HOOMANCAN.com

reply