How do you talk to a person during a manic episode?

DaisyMom Community Member December 13, 2007
  • Hello everyone,

     

    You may have seen my posts before. My 32 yr. old daughter is bipolar and has been manic for seven months now. Her mania has been characterized by anger, irritability, self-righteousness, and reckless behaviors, such as drug abuse, sexual promiscuity, and spending more money they she has. She went off her meds, lost all her friends, her job, and her roommate. Her only friend left is someone who is a bipolar cocaine abuser. I had my daughter hospitalized last Friday because she was screaming and crying uncontrollably and afraid she might jump out her window.

     

    Now she's in the hospital. She is still exhibiting faulty thinking, pressured speech, self-righteous anger--she is making a case against the hospital employees because her rights are being denied. She wants to get out of the hospital and insists she is well enough to go home. At the same time, she's still refusing some meds, not all, and yesterday explained a scheme to me to get money by writing bad checks to live off of until her disability kicks in, if I won't give her money, which I don't have but she refuses to accept that. She tells me I should sell something.

     

    My question is, how do you talk to a person during a manic episode like this? She cuts me off if i disagree with her, but I feel like I'm condoning her faulty thinking when I don't speak up. I have had some flare ups with her already--I recently reported here that she was not speaking to me. I try to be careful and I am sensitive to her illness--too sensitive according to my husband who is more of a "tough love" kind of person and does not understand this illness at all. Does anyone have any recommendations on what approach to take with her?

     

    Another question is, do these medications actually work on mania? My daughter was the picture of responsibility and discipline before this illness. I have never seen her like this before. I'm very afraid.

     

    Best regards to everyone,

    DaisyMom

     

124 Comments
  • Anonymous
    ErinBRO
    Apr. 15, 2014
    Hi DaisyMom! I am also having this issue, my boyfriend is a rapid cycler who takes Lithium after years of manic episodes and literally losing everyone close to him including me. I can tell you Lithium when taken properly makes a huge load of a difference. The problem is convincing them they need it and my boyfriend will not take it and I have to ask and when...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    Hi DaisyMom! I am also having this issue, my boyfriend is a rapid cycler who takes Lithium after years of manic episodes and literally losing everyone close to him including me. I can tell you Lithium when taken properly makes a huge load of a difference. The problem is convincing them they need it and my boyfriend will not take it and I have to ask and when he gets manic, I leave and thats his cue to take his meds again. The best thing you can use for episodes other than medication, is patience. When they are going off at you, record what they say, during which only say you are really hurting me, or I want to understand how you feel, you can tell me about it, but please don't insult or berate me. Just those two things, because then the more they try to take their illness out on you, the more they continue and their brain might click as to, "wow, im really having an episode, maybe I should do something else." I say patience because it can take a lot, but you have to see it from their pov and realize its her bipolar speaking. It can be hard because they will throw comments at you to intimidate, demean, or egg you on. You just need to remember, this is her illness, what shes saying is not reality. Bipolar people are very good at making you believe youre wrong and theyre right, they will change words around, add things in, and still keep in mind this is because the bipolar episode has started, and they are hearing different and experiencing the world as the one thats wrong, its very common with any mental illness. Just remember patience, recording the conversation for clarity and your own sanity, and the two things I told you to say, as this gives the bipolar a opportunity to talk about how they feel, but as soon as they start berating you, remember to say youre really hurting my feelings, you can talk about how you feel, i want to understand, please dont insult me. When you record it as well, you can show them what they said so the self righteousness will or might subside. Luck and hope to you and your daughter!
  • justamom
    Mar. 19, 2014

    Read "I AM NOT SICK, I DON'T NEED HELP" by Dr. Xavier Amador.  This book continues to help me when dealing with my son's manic/depressive episodes.

  • Anonymous
    faithful wife
    Jan. 06, 2014

    I have read some of the blogs and thought it might be helpful too add my expereience.  I am 39 married for 10 years to my husband.  Almost 2 years ago he tried to harm himself and ended up in the hospital.  How he absolutely hated the sight of me for the 2 day duration of this attack.  We have 5 children at that time the youngest was 2 months...

    RHMLucky777

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    I have read some of the blogs and thought it might be helpful too add my expereience.  I am 39 married for 10 years to my husband.  Almost 2 years ago he tried to harm himself and ended up in the hospital.  How he absolutely hated the sight of me for the 2 day duration of this attack.  We have 5 children at that time the youngest was 2 months old.  A year later a new doctor tested him and diagnosed his Bi-Polar.  Deep down knew it and so did he.  Since then he left a job, got a new job he loved and after a little over a year was fired.  It's been almost 7 months since he's worked and this is taking a told on everyone.  I am very strong but felt beat down by this disease and burned out.  The loved ones living with a family member with this disease also goes through a roller coaster of emotion.  I decided to join a support group for Bi-polar.  I am the only one with out it, but it's very helpful to hear how others with the disease feel and for them to hear my side too.  I found a woman who speciality in deep therapy in Bi-Polar and metal illness.  This has given me tools and she is now seeing us together.  It's a disease that needs to be under the care of a doctor and therapy, it can be controled.  My advice is to really educate yourself and understand they can't process the same way we do.  An outside group has been extremely helpful for me and i suggest trying to find one to help learn more tools in dealing with the manic highs and lows.  Peace for the ones with Bi-Polar, and the family members.

  • Malk-j
    Jan. 06, 2014
    I have been married for 9 years next month, I have slowly watched my wife slide downward over the entire time from mild depression to exasperated bipolar. Since we have been together I have had to put her in our local P.E.C unit (psychiatric emergency care) twice due to self harm, we have had many an argument over completely inconsequential things (such as...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    I have been married for 9 years next month, I have slowly watched my wife slide downward over the entire time from mild depression to exasperated bipolar. Since we have been together I have had to put her in our local P.E.C unit (psychiatric emergency care) twice due to self harm, we have had many an argument over completely inconsequential things (such as which toothpaste to buy) to fertility and having children, we have been undergoing tests to try and have a child which at this point has been unsuccessful, her treating Psychiatrist is hoping that we can find out one way or another soon so that he may attempt stronger medication as present medications are not quite doing what we need and they are within boundaries of not harming a child. We have had physical conflicts as well as verbal barrages. I myself had a complete breakdown 15 years ago due to severe work hours and paranoia from my job that ended-up me almost killing somebody; so I understand where she is coming from. You need to stand firm and remind her that you love her; and that you are doing it for her benefit and not yours. She will need constant reassurance of such things. As for friends; my wife asks me frequently why people seem to have distanced themselves and it is very hard to explain that they cannot understand what is happening; due to the fact that she does not want her family and friends knowing of the condition which create an even bigger gap. I hope I have been of some assistance, but please remember that you are not alone in the struggle and I wish you all the very best.
  • Anonymous
    disillusioned b...
    Sep. 12, 2013
  • Anonymous
    bayoumel
    May. 26, 2013

    If she has been prescribed meds by a doctor, she has to take them.  It's very common though, if someone is manic - and liked their manias, NOT to want to take them.  That must be really difficult, because mania is a very uncontrolled state which pretty much knows no boundaries.  For now, during her mania,she may NEED hospitalization.  

     ...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    If she has been prescribed meds by a doctor, she has to take them.  It's very common though, if someone is manic - and liked their manias, NOT to want to take them.  That must be really difficult, because mania is a very uncontrolled state which pretty much knows no boundaries.  For now, during her mania,she may NEED hospitalization.  

     

    Also, regarding meds, they may need  to be tweaked a few times by a Psyche doctor til they sit well with her symptoms.  Everyone's different.  There's no specific recipe.  To quell mania in the hospital, they just dope you up.  That's not the regular way to manage mania.  It's to take whatever "med cocktail" the doc has give you at the moment consistently- and yes, they will work at controlling this severe illness.  "Controlling it" ...Not making it go away, making it more liveable.

     

    My best to you,

    Have had Bipolar I all my life, and I'm 56

    Melody

     

  • Anonymous
    jkildscv
    Jul. 09, 2012

    looloo i need a freeking suporygroop to  im on  lyitium  and still go off  woo hoo yippy stick it up your ass  im in a manic stage now and you can lick a sucker sticking out my ass  im 48 yrs old talking  this way  and dont care  might have to take rsperdall  med if i wana be a zombi  thank god who...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    looloo i need a freeking suporygroop to  im on  lyitium  and still go off  woo hoo yippy stick it up your ass  im in a manic stage now and you can lick a sucker sticking out my ass  im 48 yrs old talking  this way  and dont care  might have to take rsperdall  med if i wana be a zombi  thank god who i dont belive in  that i live out in the boonies ive gone threw this sence 3rd grade  only made it to 9th grade now im 48 and can kinda control my manic/ antics  witch other kids would beat me up for acting up  adult hood arested countless times  ,, now i can  due things  out loud very loud without breaking the law  and you no we are above  hang in their and no you are .. no wait fuck them all  sorry no im not  david wilkerson cascadkid@yahoo.com   if you E  say bypolar

  • JennaH
    May. 27, 2012
    Hello, my sister is 22 years old and takes adderall daily. She smokes cigarettes, drink a ton of coffee, smokes weed, and drinks alcohol daily. She has extreme anger (physically attacked me multiple times), consistently makes bad decisions, steals from my parents, can't finish college or have stable relationships with friends. My parents believe she is addicted...
    RHMLucky777
    Read More
    Hello, my sister is 22 years old and takes adderall daily. She smokes cigarettes, drink a ton of coffee, smokes weed, and drinks alcohol daily. She has extreme anger (physically attacked me multiple times), consistently makes bad decisions, steals from my parents, can't finish college or have stable relationships with friends. My parents believe she is addicted to adderall but I wonder if there is something more. The extreme anger and hate she exudes is ruining my parents life. They are enabling her with a large allowance and paying for school even though she has no intent of finishing. They take her on extravagant vacations (which she ruins by running away or causing manic scenes in public places) and have not forced her to get help. Only once has she been to a therapist (with our family) and now refuses to go. She has racing thoughts and often makes no sense when trying to communicate her ideas. She picks at her skin and has scabs and scars all over her body. She has no control over her emotions and quickly flips from scatter-brained babble to extreme anger. Has anyone experienced another person like this? I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel without professional help. My parents aren't willing to commit her to a facility and she is not willing to get treatment.
    • Maysiedots
      May. 28, 2012

      My son just turned 22 and just got home from being hospitalized for the first time. He was away at school in his last yr of college and had to take a medical leave of absence. I did not really know how bad he was till he came home. After two weeks of watching the mania and unable to get out of bed one day to the next, finally I asked him if he needed to go...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      My son just turned 22 and just got home from being hospitalized for the first time. He was away at school in his last yr of college and had to take a medical leave of absence. I did not really know how bad he was till he came home. After two weeks of watching the mania and unable to get out of bed one day to the next, finally I asked him if he needed to go to the hospital, and he agreed while he was so depressed. He spent a week in a very good hospital setting, that we had to pay an astronomical upfront cost, the system is so broken, believe me. Why is that so? Every family deals with some form of mental illness or another. That is the facts. I have found NAMI FAMILIA to be very helpful for families, they have a family to family program in most states, check them out on line, GREAT RESOURSE. My son is now stablized and I can only hope and pray and stay strong, and be educated for this is a life time struggle. If our society would wake up and realize this is so prevelent...We would all benefit, especially our loved ones.  I know the pain everyone is in, but educate yourself, it does nobody any good to blame. This is a disease that has a family genetic history, I have had the test done for my son, it is covered by the state of CT for insurance. The test helps because it shows the cutting edge drs. how best to treat the individual with the best medication for them. It is a heartache, but they are still our sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, husbands etc...our families.

    • Maysiedots
      May. 28, 2012

      I just posted about my son, your sister does need help, as a parent if you educate yourself you than have tools to help. It will take you to the gamet of emotions and back, as a parent it is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. My husband has the illness, I never really know what this illness was about. But I will be that bull dog...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      I just posted about my son, your sister does need help, as a parent if you educate yourself you than have tools to help. It will take you to the gamet of emotions and back, as a parent it is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. My husband has the illness, I never really know what this illness was about. But I will be that bull dog of a person till I get them the help they need,will they take it is another story. Any hope is better than none. I am sure your parents are beyond themselves. The one day at a time approach is the best. I will never know what tomorrow will bring, patience, love and kindness and getting them at a low point to get help is usually how it works. Throwing money at them is not.

      Tough love does not work with bi polar, that has been my experence.

      It is not easy, every personality is different. As her sister the fact that you are here posting is good, because you care and are looking for help, I hope you check out Nami Familia.

    • Anonymous
      Dusty
      May. 28, 2012

      Hi our family has been wrecked by my hard working and responsible sister in her 40's that has had  mania for over a year now. She doesn't want help, doesn't want meds but has lost her job, family, all equity in her home, a chunk of her IRA, all her savings and is now in serious debt. She has abused us verbally and disowned the family for...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Hi our family has been wrecked by my hard working and responsible sister in her 40's that has had  mania for over a year now. She doesn't want help, doesn't want meds but has lost her job, family, all equity in her home, a chunk of her IRA, all her savings and is now in serious debt. She has abused us verbally and disowned the family for not supporting her and is now friends only with people who have just met her or have not known her as a responsible and trustworthy person. 

       

      My parents are involved with a NAMI support group and are very elderly. Their daughter has been ruthless in her accusations at them and requests for money.

       

      It is very difficult to watch someone turn from 25 years of being one of the most responsible, hard working and caring people I have known to a self-absorbed, foul mouthed, irresponsible, self-focused, debt-ridden person I have ever met.

       

      Does anybody have any ideas how to help these people when they are in Mania?

    • Maysiedots
      May. 29, 2012

      I do not know if this is helpful at the moment, but I would think that she would crash at some point, at that time you can maybe reason with her. If you contact

      the Mental Health Association in your area, there is usually a crisis team or good people who could help guide you to what choices you might be able to present her

      with. I know in her condition...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      I do not know if this is helpful at the moment, but I would think that she would crash at some point, at that time you can maybe reason with her. If you contact

      the Mental Health Association in your area, there is usually a crisis team or good people who could help guide you to what choices you might be able to present her

      with. I know in her condition at this time, she will not listen, but maybe when

      she finally crashes.

      I have a good friend as well who has done this same thing over

      and over again, terrible cycles. Now her mother just died, she seems to be

      willing for once to get help. My heart goes out to you and your family,  I think bi polar individuals really do not see what they are doing in mania, does she have a family?  It is so painful, sometimes you just want to walk away.

       

    • Dealing wife
      Dec. 09, 2012
      My husband has been diagnosed Bi polar and along with other issues he does pick at scabs and has sores. You are the first person that had addressed that. He gets angered easily which is helped with medicine. He is so euphoric he seems out of his mind. His brain has to be constantly stimulated with something or he gets very anxious. We have been together 8 years...
      RHMLucky777
      Read More
      My husband has been diagnosed Bi polar and along with other issues he does pick at scabs and has sores. You are the first person that had addressed that. He gets angered easily which is helped with medicine. He is so euphoric he seems out of his mind. His brain has to be constantly stimulated with something or he gets very anxious. We have been together 8 years and married 6 and this just happened in the last 4. I have tried every form of reasoning with him he is medicated and has been in hospitals. honestly and sadly I do not believe much has helped. I do believe by working out, keeping a good diet and a very regimented schedule helps. I also feel bi polar manic episodes are addictive and that the enjoy feeling manic which is my husband. I love him dearly but at this point I am almost ready to move on with my life and try to make a more stable life for my child and myself.
    • Jim (John 3:16)
      Aug. 19, 2014

      I am sorry for your pain.  I went through that with my ex wife and her son.  They both have it.  She also suffers from schizophrenia.  They smoke pot and also and lash out at the world for everything.  I fell into great depression also and wanted to end evrything with out any hope.  But by God's grace, Jesus Christ saved me from...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      I am sorry for your pain.  I went through that with my ex wife and her son.  They both have it.  She also suffers from schizophrenia.  They smoke pot and also and lash out at the world for everything.  I fell into great depression also and wanted to end evrything with out any hope.  But by God's grace, Jesus Christ saved me from that.  I have been redeemed and been remarried.  My new wife has has two son's and two daughters and I have a daughter from my past marriage.  I will admit that one of her sons is also bipolar, and we have our moments, but through God's grace we are making it.  I feel sorry for the comment of the 48 year old above.  Hey buddy I didn't follow God before really and life was a mess.  My aunt suffers from life long battle of bipolar disorder bshe came back to the Lord. Oh I take it back the Lord found her, and she is doing much better.  So to all of you please pray to Jesus Christ for salvation and hope for all your sufferage.  He will give you and your problematic loved ones hope here and after this life.  He is the light and the truth and the way in this torn world.  I will pray for you to.  God bless.  If you have a bible please read Psalm 91 for encouragement or look it up on the internet.

  • juliethe fairy
    Apr. 24, 2012

    my daughter is the same you know she never dose anything wrong,takes things from my hm.but her father and I don't know how to get her in hosp.i have not seen my grandsons for 2 months.she said i wont see them till i am dead.the boys are so unhappy but they tell cps that its ok.she told them she has a restraining order on me but she dose'nt and they will go...

    RHMLucky777

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    my daughter is the same you know she never dose anything wrong,takes things from my hm.but her father and I don't know how to get her in hosp.i have not seen my grandsons for 2 months.she said i wont see them till i am dead.the boys are so unhappy but they tell cps that its ok.she told them she has a restraining order on me but she dose'nt and they will go to some mean famile that wont feed them and could hurt them.She is off meds i feel bad for her a little but more for the boys.so how were you able to get her to go to hosp?????erica wont go she thinks shes ok and the world is wrong.who can help me,where do i go? can her father and i put her in hosp??do we have to go to court?? what do you have to prove?? please help me i amso worried for them all

    • Anonymous
      fromexperience
      Feb. 11, 2014

      my dad just called the cops on me when i was in a manic episode lol it worked

  • Anonymous
    Coping
    Mar. 12, 2012

    Dear DaisyMom,

    I googled "How to talk to someone having a manic episode?" and came across your post. When I read it, I felt like someone out there knows EXACTLY what I'm going through.

     

    My brother is having a manic episode right now...been going on for several months now; I can't communicate with him or reach out to him when this happens (it's been happening...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    Dear DaisyMom,

    I googled "How to talk to someone having a manic episode?" and came across your post. When I read it, I felt like someone out there knows EXACTLY what I'm going through.

     

    My brother is having a manic episode right now...been going on for several months now; I can't communicate with him or reach out to him when this happens (it's been happening for years...if he's not manic, he's severely depressed). His situation is going untreated - as you can imagine, if I bring up getting help or doctors, he lashes out at me. And when he goes through this phase, he is so reckless it is unbelievable..definitely not in the proper frame of mind; he stole money from my parents, spends excessively, is doing drugs like Marijuana, and is always irritated and cussing me out if I try to help him.

     

    I haven't given up though. For several years, I never understood why he was the way he is and I resented him and would get angry. Now, that I know WHY he acts the way he does, I just feel sorry and compassion towards him. When he lashes out at me and calls me names, I know that's not him, it's the disease speaking.

     

    I don't know what the answers are...I personally am waiting for him to get depressed again -that is the best time to talk to him. Last year, I was only able to take him to the doctors when he hit a low (he was depressed and regretting all the mistakes he made in life...he told us all his secrets of what he did when he was manic and was so ashamed of himself)

     

    I wish doctors here in the USA could force patients to check in because a manic person will never willingly seek help. It's so frustrating!

     

    For years, when he was younger, we were in the dark...his symptoms were more subtle. But as he grows older (he's in his mid-twenties), his symptoms get more severe and noticeable. I'm worried he might do something that gets him in serious trouble...for years I've been covering up for him and helping him in any way I can. And it's hard because this is not something you can talk to people about. Nodboy will understand unless they go through it. It's quite a burden for family members to carry.

     

    On a side note, what makes the situation more difficult for me is that my parents have been in denial about my brother's condition for the longest time. My dad doesn't know how to handle it (he sometimes makes the situation worse) and my mom believes he can be healed without medication...she prefers using any word but bipolar. They both love him and are doing their best in the way they see fit but it is frustrating at times.

     

    I hope more research is done in this field.

    Thank you for sharing your experience...it made me feel like we're not alone.

    • ceartgoleor
      May. 03, 2012

      Reading these posts make me want to cry. So many caring loving people out there.  There are so many of you/us trying to help and who are worryied sick

      about our loved ones.  I think its great that there are places like this to talk but it would be even better if our communities and are our friends could help better.  And the fact that all these...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Reading these posts make me want to cry. So many caring loving people out there.  There are so many of you/us trying to help and who are worryied sick

      about our loved ones.  I think its great that there are places like this to talk but it would be even better if our communities and are our friends could help better.  And the fact that all these treatment facilities are so prohibitive is just plain sick.  Our society suffers when there is so much untreated mental illness. One thing that I think is promising is the extensive research being done by the Bill Walsh Institute and Mensah Medical ......which is looking at the possible underlying causes of such conditions as Bipolar 1, 2 Autism, and a slew of other mental illnesses.  You all should google and read about it.  If what these folks are coming up with is true a time will come when we won't need those prohibitive elitist joints.  My understanding of the results of the research is that a disproportionately high percentage of those suffering from several mental illnesses have either too much or too little of a certain amino acid which ultimately seriously effects brain chemistry. Yes, the tests are expensive (and I have not got my son done yet......but I'm planning to) at $895 approx.........but that includes consultations with two Doctors.  And the treatment .......which is basically therapeutic doses of certain nutrients.........only costs about 160 per month maximum.  The insitute does not discourage patients from taking their other meds but the tests can sometimes determine that the prescribed drugs are doing more harm than good. And so the Institute will recommend to the patient's regular psychiatrist that they change the drugs. I will come back here and tell everyone about my son's results when I can him to Mensah Medical in Maryland in June...or to Illinois where they are based. 

       

       

    • Namrata
      Aug. 12, 2014

      Acceptance of this condition is very important by the family.  I am suffering because of this. My husband's family refuses to accept that their son/brother is bipolar.  This encourages my husband to to think the same.  Last year it was the very first Manic episode and this year is the second one going on since last 5 months. He tried to choke...

      RHMLucky777

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      Acceptance of this condition is very important by the family.  I am suffering because of this. My husband's family refuses to accept that their son/brother is bipolar.  This encourages my husband to to think the same.  Last year it was the very first Manic episode and this year is the second one going on since last 5 months. He tried to choke me on 28th March 2014 which was tough for me to handle as ours is 15 years of marriage. I clearly said treatment and a family member to live with us till he is sane again but he opted to walk away. The next I hear is that I jave thrown him on roads!!! His family supprted encouraged him to bad mouth me and worked qith to open a food outlet.  Five months down his employees are waiting to get their salaries and mobey to run the outlet whilst he spends on his lavish lifestyle of living in hotels, flying across cities for so called business meetings and now he has found a young struggling movie actor who is clinging onto him seeing the grandiose.  I am suddenly a single parent of three and a half trying to make our son understand why his father is not living with us for so long...

  • 0909anna
    Dec. 26, 2011

    How do u help someone come down. I have a 10 year old daughter and I took her and left because my husband was creating huge irrational fights that escalated to violence. He was constantly saying things about me and my boys from another marriage to other people that were not true to make himself appear rightous and victimized. I thought he was a chronic liar...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    How do u help someone come down. I have a 10 year old daughter and I took her and left because my husband was creating huge irrational fights that escalated to violence. He was constantly saying things about me and my boys from another marriage to other people that were not true to make himself appear rightous and victimized. I thought he was a chronic liar and knew there was something wrong with him I blamed his alcoholism. Former functioning alcoholic was dry for yrs and when it got real bad I thought he was probably drinking again. The arguements were sooooooo unreal the things he would scream at me were so farfetched and irrational and bizarre, his point of view so skewed and his self victimization was ridiculous. So one night I took my daughter and left. We went to a marriage counselor in which he got extremely upset when I told her why I left and what he did... he would not admit he did anything and change the subject to well she does this... and it was a lie... so I would get up to leave and he would say wait wait you just want me to sit here and listen to what a prick I am.. so the counselor would ask him straight out and again deflection... after a month she said it was pointless to come in if you are not going to participate... when we left the office he blamed her saying she was not qualified did not know what she was talking about... etc etc... we then got a older counselor who he wanted to have separate sessions with... so he could lie about his life.. I would not agree to go to separate sessions unless we also had joint sessions so he was unable to lie.. still believing he was a chronic liar. He went to his sessions with her for a month and she referred him to a dr. in psychiatry for medication... these two doctors had no input from me and what was truly going on. She diagnosed him depression and bipolar. He refused the bipolar medication and agreed to take the anti depressants he was on a dose that seemed to help a bit... she upped his dose and he had an extreme manic episode.. the worste ever. I called her and told her what happened and he went on a lower dose and was stable for a couple months. xmas day... yesterday he came to my families house and started having bizarre thoughts that everyone was against him and swears I was talking crap about him right in front of him and it never happened... he got aggitated and rude and I had no idea why... I walked into the room where he was sitting alone and quietly wanted to ask what was up... so I leaned down and said in a whisper whats wrong.. whats going on. I did not find out until we left... he almost wrecked the car with us in it screaming and raging about his bizzare perception of reality... everyone was very very nice to him it was soooo faulty it was insane. when I had asked him what was wrong so no one else could hear... that was turned into me getting in his face and causing a scene for everyone that hated him's benefit. He got ugly and every irrational thought he has ever had came pouring out.... while me and my little girl tried to convince him he was wrong but he just got crazier.. I heard what I heard over and over again... face red and raging and swerving... There is no talking to him rationally... I told him you are bipolar and this is a manic episode it is not rational.. nothing u are saying really happened and it just gets worse and he gets more ugly... my daughter is yelling dad stop that did not happen and he is screaming at me I poisoned her mind and coached her... we just got into the car and this was our first introduction to his demented thoughts... I kept turning on the radio to ignore his vent.. but he kept slamming it off with my hand still on the button and yelling more... I turned on my phone so he could hear himself later... and this pissed him off and he started saying stuff to the camera on the phone that I supposedly did to set him off that did not happen.. to me it is like being around an insane person... I can not do it ... my daughter can not do it. He refuses to believe it is his faulty perception, when everyone tells him what he said happened did not really happen he says I got everyone against him that I am trying to control him. I dont want to even be around him let alone control him. He is refusing to read about his diagnosis.. he said his dr says it is being depressed and it is everyone elses fault he is depressed... if it was not for all this imaginary things happening to him he would be fine. what do I do now.. ? He is my childs father, he is great when he is normal and he can be normal for months... every holiday he goes manic and stays that way from a week to a few and then is fine for a bit... I cant take it anymore. P

  • May_75808
    Dec. 07, 2011

    You need to tell her that her actions are unacceptable and are costing her her life, her finances, and her sanity. Thats what my mother told me when I was recovering from a manic episode. Tell her that if she keeps acting out and doesn't take her medicine then she will lose the last hope that you have for her. If she doesn't listen start making threats, like...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    You need to tell her that her actions are unacceptable and are costing her her life, her finances, and her sanity. Thats what my mother told me when I was recovering from a manic episode. Tell her that if she keeps acting out and doesn't take her medicine then she will lose the last hope that you have for her. If she doesn't listen start making threats, like threatening to close her bank account or stop paying for her phone services. Do something that will really make her listen. If that doesn't work then I suggest asking her to come and live with you, because unfortunately people in manic episodes don't really know how to take care of themselves (no matter how much they say otherwise) because their minds are still in a state of panic and switched personalities. When she comes and lives with you you can keep a close eye on her.

  • Anonymous
    a friend
    Nov. 06, 2011

    hi there

    I Suffer from bipolor when I am in that stage all I want to be is left alone, I do not even know that I am acting differently, but all I know that is when I need the most love and support . I do not want to get away with things and need to be challange about my behaviour not in a fighting way, also be very careful that you do not come across as saying...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    hi there

    I Suffer from bipolor when I am in that stage all I want to be is left alone, I do not even know that I am acting differently, but all I know that is when I need the most love and support . I do not want to get away with things and need to be challange about my behaviour not in a fighting way, also be very careful that you do not come across as saying things like here we go again or you are mad things like that upset a person, as when in that stage you are not thinking right you think that everyone around you hates you. So if this helps you at all Im glad

    Regards

     

  • Anonymous
    a friend
    Nov. 06, 2011

    hi there

    I Suffer from bipolor when I am in that stage all I want to be is left alone, I do not even know that I am acting differently, but all I know that is when I need the most love and support . I do not want to get away with things and need to be challange about my behaviour not in a fighting way, also be very careful that you do not come across as saying...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    hi there

    I Suffer from bipolor when I am in that stage all I want to be is left alone, I do not even know that I am acting differently, but all I know that is when I need the most love and support . I do not want to get away with things and need to be challange about my behaviour not in a fighting way, also be very careful that you do not come across as saying things like here we go again or you are mad things like that upset a person, as when in that stage you are not thinking right you think that everyone around you hates you. So if this helps you at all Im glad

    Regards

     

    • 0909anna
      Dec. 26, 2011

      How do u help someone come down. I have a 10 year old daughter and I took her and left because my husband was creating huge irrational fights that escalated to violence. He was constantly saying things about me and my boys from another marriage to other people that were not true to make himself appear rightous and victimized. I thought he was a chronic liar...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      How do u help someone come down. I have a 10 year old daughter and I took her and left because my husband was creating huge irrational fights that escalated to violence. He was constantly saying things about me and my boys from another marriage to other people that were not true to make himself appear rightous and victimized. I thought he was a chronic liar and knew there was something wrong with him I blamed his alcoholism. Former functioning alcoholic was dry for yrs and when it got real bad I thought he was probably drinking again. The arguements were sooooooo unreal the things he would scream at me were so farfetched and irrational and bizarre, his point of view so skewed and his self victimization was ridiculous. So one night I took my daughter and left. We went to a marriage counselor in which he got extremely upset when I told her why I left and what he did... he would not admit he did anything and change the subject to well she does this... and it was a lie... so I would get up to leave and he would say wait wait you just want me to sit here and listen to what a prick I am.. so the counselor would ask him straight out and again deflection... after a month she said it was pointless to come in if you are not going to participate... when we left the office he blamed her saying she was not qualified did not know what she was talking about... etc etc... we then got a older counselor who he wanted to have separate sessions with... so he could lie about his life.. I would not agree to go to separate sessions unless we also had joint sessions so he was unable to lie.. still believing he was a chronic liar. He went to his sessions with her for a month and she referred him to a dr. in psychiatry for medication... these two doctors had no input from me and what was truly going on. She diagnosed him depression and bipolar. He refused the bipolar medication and agreed to take the anti depressants he was on a dose that seemed to help a bit... she upped his dose and he had an extreme manic episode.. the worste ever. I called her and told her what happened and he went on a lower dose and was stable for a couple months. xmas day... yesterday he came to my families house and started having bizarre thoughts that everyone was against him and swears I was talking crap about him right in front of him and it never happened... he got aggitated and rude and I had no idea why... I walked into the room where he was sitting alone and quietly wanted to ask what was up... so I leaned down and said in a whisper whats wrong.. whats going on. I did not find out until we left... he almost wrecked the car with us in it screaming and raging about his bizzare perception of reality... everyone was very very nice to him it was soooo faulty it was insane. when I had asked him what was wrong so no one else could hear... that was turned into me getting in his face and causing a scene for everyone that hated him's benefit. He got ugly and every irrational thought he has ever had came pouring out.... while me and my little girl tried to convince him he was wrong but he just got crazier.. I heard what I heard over and over again... face red and raging and swerving... There is no talking to him rationally... I told him you are bipolar and this is a manic episode it is not rational.. nothing u are saying really happened and it just gets worse and he gets more ugly... my daughter is yelling dad stop that did not happen and he is screaming at me I poisoned her mind and coached her... we just got into the car and this was our first introduction to his demented thoughts... I kept turning on the radio to ignore his vent.. but he kept slamming it off with my hand still on the button and yelling more... I turned on my phone so he could hear himself later... and this pissed him off and he started saying stuff to the camera on the phone that I supposedly did to set him off that did not happen.. to me it is like being around an insane person... I can not do it ... my daughter can not do it. He refuses to believe it is his faulty perception, when everyone tells him what he said happened did not really happen he says I got everyone against him that I am trying to control him. I dont want to even be around him let alone control him. He is refusing to read about his diagnosis.. he said his dr says it is being depressed and it is everyone elses fault he is depressed... if it was not for all this imaginary things happening to him he would be fine. what do I do now.. ? He is my childs father, he is great when he is normal and he can be normal for months... every holiday he goes manic and stays that way from a week to a few and then is fine for a bit... I cant take it anymore. P

  • poppy
    Aug. 29, 2011

    It is not possible to talk to someone manic or in a mixed episode. Whatever you say you will be wrong or crazy or whatever....

     

    I always sent my boyfriend an email to explain what happened, what he did and how he treated me... yeaah he always reads my emails .....

     

    but will always act like nothing happened

     

    or

     

    when we finally talk about...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    It is not possible to talk to someone manic or in a mixed episode. Whatever you say you will be wrong or crazy or whatever....

     

    I always sent my boyfriend an email to explain what happened, what he did and how he treated me... yeaah he always reads my emails .....

     

    but will always act like nothing happened

     

    or

     

    when we finally talk about it he will use the same words I used in my emails (telling him it was wrong or not right).....and acts as if I didnt get it and he was right... ufff  

     

      

  • Jan
    Jan
    May. 30, 2011

    About 6 years ago, I experienced a major manic episode and was hospitalized because I was a danger to myself and others. I have never felt better in my life. I believed anything was possible. I was out spending money I didn't have. I even bought a brand new car because I thought I had all the money in the world. My family knew I was in trouble because I was...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    About 6 years ago, I experienced a major manic episode and was hospitalized because I was a danger to myself and others. I have never felt better in my life. I believed anything was possible. I was out spending money I didn't have. I even bought a brand new car because I thought I had all the money in the world. My family knew I was in trouble because I was doing things that I never do. I am very thrifty and actually hate shopping of any kind. There was no talking to me or trying to reason with me. I couldn't understand why people thought I was sick and wanted to lock me up becuase I felt so good. I have since been stable, as much as possible, and take my meds every day, even though I hate it. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 with psychotic features, because I had totally lost touch with reality. I still struggle with ups and downs, but they are mild, compared to my huge manic episode.

  • Yvette
    Apr. 20, 2011

    No your not alone in this delima.  I too have a 34 yr. old daughter suffering from the same problems. The only difference is my daughter is on medication and is no longer to my knowledge on drugs.  My problem is the manic part, how do you talk to them without the histericle screaming and crying?  I do all I can and for the most part try not to...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    No your not alone in this delima.  I too have a 34 yr. old daughter suffering from the same problems. The only difference is my daughter is on medication and is no longer to my knowledge on drugs.  My problem is the manic part, how do you talk to them without the histericle screaming and crying?  I do all I can and for the most part try not to say anything that may set her off.  But thats not working for me or anyone else in my family.  We are at our end can no longer deal with the verbal abuse from her.  We have small children around and she has no respect for them or anyone else when she has one of her episodes.  I'm in counseling now and was told to stop letting her manipulate me.  In other words take control of my home and etablish rules she has to follow or she has to go.  Well you can imagine how that went, I was called everything but a child of God and invited to kiss down south.  I have been walking on egg shells ever since she got out of jail almost a year ago now. I get over ruled in all matters of discipline where the children are concerned, even though she is their mother I was recently told that she has no rights because I have gaurdianship of the kids.  So see the saying there is always someone out there worst off than you is so-o-o true.

    End result she hates me, think I became her payee for her disability monies so I can steal from her, when in fact I end up spending my money on her when she runs out and need things.  So she's moving and don't want the family to know where she's going, fine all I can do is pray.  I love my daughter but I need to start loving me.  You didn't do anything wrong but blame yourself and love your daughter to the point of losing you. 

  • kristin strickland
    Mar. 29, 2011

    hi, this is so great to hear all your stories because i've been living with bipolar for years. 6 years ago we found out my daughter and i have it. shes now 10 years old and shes manic right now. and we went to the store today and she lost it. hitting and screaming because i wouldn't buy something for her. some people stopped us and said if shes not careful...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    hi, this is so great to hear all your stories because i've been living with bipolar for years. 6 years ago we found out my daughter and i have it. shes now 10 years old and shes manic right now. and we went to the store today and she lost it. hitting and screaming because i wouldn't buy something for her. some people stopped us and said if shes not careful someone will call social services and take her away. is that true could they take her if shes violent out in public towards me? i'm scared. what do i do when shes acting like that. her doctor gave me ziprexia that melts in her mouth and in 5 mins. it calms her but it doesn't always work.

  • bringen_girl
    Feb. 08, 2011

    i was medicated with a pill called lexipro. it helps so much and you notice a difference right away. seriously the day you take it. it does not make you drowsy or feel like your high...if anyone is thinking about medication you should ask your doctor about lexipro. I have been on it for a few years now and it works great. you take it 1 time a day usually eather...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    i was medicated with a pill called lexipro. it helps so much and you notice a difference right away. seriously the day you take it. it does not make you drowsy or feel like your high...if anyone is thinking about medication you should ask your doctor about lexipro. I have been on it for a few years now and it works great. you take it 1 time a day usually eather morning or night whichever you choose, it really helps alot. It calms down the depression and the anger.

  • shipsandpapers
    Aug. 14, 2010

    right now my mother's in a manic state, ive seen it coming for the past few weeks now, as were in the middle of moving, and my dad has been working out of state for 2 month's...anyway's. shes outside cutting the grass with scissor's right now, because she said it needed to be trimmed. i dont know how to calm her down. as everytime i try to talk to her she says...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    right now my mother's in a manic state, ive seen it coming for the past few weeks now, as were in the middle of moving, and my dad has been working out of state for 2 month's...anyway's. shes outside cutting the grass with scissor's right now, because she said it needed to be trimmed. i dont know how to calm her down. as everytime i try to talk to her she says things like "everyone deserves to die, the world is hell, i was born to suffer..." etc. its actually really depressing me, as a result of my mothers bipolar, i now have anxiety/ocd, and have also suffered severe depression. in ways im scared of her, and other time's i just feel like i cant be around her, because im scared ill lose it. i guess my biggest fear is getting to that point. ive been to 5 therapist's since i was 13 and non of them told me i was bipolar...but i still fear it, so much that sometimes i convince myself that i am...and i just dont know how to handle my mother in states like this. she wants to be left alone, but im scared to leave her alone. it hurts when your own mother tells you, that nobody deserves to live. her constant negetivity has worn off on me. in my 21 years of living, shes always been cynical, and ive always been positive, but since shes been diagnosed 4 years ago, and hospitalized on and off, ive found myself becoming more and more negetive, and having horrible depressive thought's.

    basically, a. how do i deal with her manic state?

    and b. how do i try to not let her negetivity and words she spews hurt me? or effect me?

     

    • Ann
      Ann
      Sep. 11, 2010

      I have a friend who is bipolar. She leads a pretty normal life, takes her meds, owns her own home, married and has four dogs.

       

      We know each other for over 10 years, yet in the past two years she has said really mean things to me...like I am not as good looking as the guy I like, I have to lose weight without me asking her meanwhile I am thin, also when...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      I have a friend who is bipolar. She leads a pretty normal life, takes her meds, owns her own home, married and has four dogs.

       

      We know each other for over 10 years, yet in the past two years she has said really mean things to me...like I am not as good looking as the guy I like, I have to lose weight without me asking her meanwhile I am thin, also when I say something to her that concerns me she takes it as if I am having an argument...

       

      Anyway, why is it that someone with bipolar can hurt your feelings and you go home crying for three days, why is that acceptable.  I have been very sensitive to her feelings knowing her illness.  It is kind of a love/hate friendship with me.  She doesn't have hardly any friends and her husband is a doormat.  She basically humiliates him in front of people.  At this point I see her as becoming verbally abusive.  She is always right and says my family doesn't have manners because someone in my family who doesn't know her didn't invite her to their party, that I wasn't going to.  She never insults me in front of her husband, so yes she is able to control her behavior.

       

       Or she expects this or that from me.  I am tired of her picking on me as if I owe her something.  As much as I love a friend it can get tiring and at this point in my life considering she thinks I am a doormat I will tell her off no matter how she feels.  I can take so much and I have a life of my own, but do I really want to be around people who insult me, put me down, then say I love you..your my best friend.  I am depressed now given the economy and she should think about someone other than herself.  I mean she asked me to help her with her business and when I didn't have the time the day she wanted to meet she said her time was valuable...WHAT?  You have to be kidding...I am doing a favor and getting nothing out of it except being a good friend.  She accused me of flirting with her husband and saying sexual jokes with her Dad.  I mean her Dad makes jokes like that and I just sit there trying to ignore...how dare she.  Her Dad has the problem. Also, she gives me unwanted advice (since when?  since she got married) and if I don't do what she says she gets really mad and yells at me...since when am I her daughter or puppet. Honestly, if anyone has this illness I have seen what has happened with my friend and I truly love her, but she gave up therapy saying she'll get it from her friends...I can't be anyones therapist and ir is hard to be there for her the day after she tells me I am ugly..I need to be treated nice...I don't think everyone is the same, but please understand that those that have this illness may feel hurt about what people are saying...this is just venting about people's situations...not indicating you are exactly like them.  If you are on the other side then you would understand a different perspective and either way we all need to be there for one another and express ourselves in words..if that is the only way out.  Take care of yourself because a lot of people love you.

    • Anonymous
      Bsavona82
      Jun. 23, 2014
      I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I'm 32 and have dealt with my mother being sick on and off for years. Many times I've been at the end of her hatred. It's exhausting. As I was growing up, I was so excited when I turned 28 and hadn't been diagnosed as bipolar. That was my biggest underlying fear. It makes me sad to hear that you've been so affected. It...
      RHMLucky777
      Read More
      I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I'm 32 and have dealt with my mother being sick on and off for years. Many times I've been at the end of her hatred. It's exhausting. As I was growing up, I was so excited when I turned 28 and hadn't been diagnosed as bipolar. That was my biggest underlying fear. It makes me sad to hear that you've been so affected. It doesn't have to be your future. We aren't our parents. I wish I could offer more comfort.
  • Broken hearted Mom
    Apr. 19, 2010

    My son is 23 and also bipolar and still living at home. He was diagnosed about 10 years ago. We were working with one of the best psychiatrist in my area. He had a good job with benefits and insurance, which paid for his medication for his bipolar. He was paying his own bills and doing great. He lost his job last year and everything that went along with...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    My son is 23 and also bipolar and still living at home. He was diagnosed about 10 years ago. We were working with one of the best psychiatrist in my area. He had a good job with benefits and insurance, which paid for his medication for his bipolar. He was paying his own bills and doing great. He lost his job last year and everything that went along with it. Since then he has been in a downward spiral. He started hanging out in the local bars on the weekend and falling into the wrong crowd. This crowd includes a 46 year old cab driver with whom he thinks he loves. I don't know what they are giving him there that he was not getting at home. I can see him pulling away from us since meeting her. I do believe that alcohol is a big problem for people with this disease. She constantly calls and texts his phone for which I pay for. If you bring up anything negative about her he instantly goes on the defensive and becomes agitated. It is like my son has has been brainwashed by her and her family. My family can see how irrational his thinking is. I text him every night to tell him that I love him and that if he needs me to call no matter what! I love my son to death and this is tearing me up inside. I have been through this with my grandmother and my niece, this disease is hell on families. I feel like that I have let my son down in some way. I cry about this everyday and say a prayer for him everyday. I can only hope that someday he will come back to us before its too late. It is almost like the death of your child and someone else is in their place, someone you don't recognize.

    • Anonymous
      Mo
      May. 11, 2010

      Hello, I have been reading all the posts and I can identify with all of them. My granddaughter, age 20, is bipolar I believe. Her Mother was diagnosed with bipolar several years ago. My granddaughter will  not accept help from her family and I am at my wit's end, I do not know what to do. I have talked with the police, my dr, but all I learned is that...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Hello, I have been reading all the posts and I can identify with all of them. My granddaughter, age 20, is bipolar I believe. Her Mother was diagnosed with bipolar several years ago. My granddaughter will  not accept help from her family and I am at my wit's end, I do not know what to do. I have talked with the police, my dr, but all I learned is that until she's ready to accept help, there is nothing I can do because she is an adult. She has been abusing drugs and alcohol since she graduated high school and now she is very agitated, extremely angry, and is always blaming her family for everything that has happened to her. She refuses to see that her lifestyle has something to do with the way she is. She lives from house to house until they get burned out, all her clothes are in her car, I don't know how she eats or where she sleeps, she keeps asking to come home and tells everyone she's homeless, but she's homeless by choice. She has lived with me twice and I had to ask her to leave twice. It makes me feel so guilty but I cannot live with her behavior. If she were willing to get help it would make all the difference. I told her that if she took just one step to help herself, that I would be right there to help her all the way but that I wasn't going to keep giving, giving, giving, while she does nothing. She believes her family should financially support her, put gas in her car, give her money for food, put minutes on her cell phone, etc., live in our house so she can just come and go as she pleases. I have been attending al-anon and I understand now that by continuing to help her with money, etc. I am keeping her sick and that she has to hit bottom. But I wonder, that with bipolar, do you have to treat it a little bit differently? I am so afraid that she is going to say the wrong thing to the wrong person and really get hurt. I pray that she will be arrested, isn't that awful? She was tested a year ago for bipolar but she refuses to go and get the results. I have offered to make the appt and take her there myself, but she still does not go. I have tried to detach and sometimes it works, but other days....I feel like I am failing her....

    • Primed
      Jun. 17, 2010

      I am a newbie caregiver for an adult daughter, age 43 and have been experiencing an episode of mania for the first time. This is the third day, but is relatively calm, except for some hysteria and crying. Her anger and irritability has dissipated. The episode began with some modest anger, shaving her hair, and insistence on being taken to the hospital (so she...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      I am a newbie caregiver for an adult daughter, age 43 and have been experiencing an episode of mania for the first time. This is the third day, but is relatively calm, except for some hysteria and crying. Her anger and irritability has dissipated. The episode began with some modest anger, shaving her hair, and insistence on being taken to the hospital (so she could get drugged up and get some sleep). I declined to take or send her to a hospital. To drug her up would only be a temporary fix. Fortunately, she is relatively obedient. Her anger began escalating when I would not allow her to leave my apartment to smoke. She had to do it here. I did not want her exposed to other people, for fear the police would be called on her or by her. She had already called the police once, to report that she heard screaming and wanted them to investigate. As she became more and more tired, her anger escalated. She began yelling at me to shut off the TV, because the noise upset her (I muted it instead), she left her bed and came into my room and tried sleeping on the floor, and frequently would stand (in the dark) close to me and look in my eyes (apparently to see if I was either awake, or still alive - as she sometime fears I may have died when I sleep sitting up ... I am 68 years old). I just recently was awarded guardianship of her (mid April 2010) and moved her from a midwestern state to Virginia. She had been institutionalized at the time and they intended to keep her permanently, a measure I am most opposed to except in extreme instances. She thought she would be able to move into her own place right away, and has been looking, but I won't let her go until she demonstrate stability. The thing that calmed her down (at 4:30 this am) was my calm, but firm question as to how she would feel if her teenage son saw her this way .. and that he would probably cry. The anger now has transformed or moved into very brief psychotic outbursts/episodes of tearful wailing, which I can control by calmly asking her to calm down. Keeping her mind focused and busy on something else is difficult. She now is going through/exploring my vintage magazine articles/covers (I sell on ebay). Her meds are effexor, hydroxyzine pamoate, abilify.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous
    Dec. 05, 2009

    do people with bipolar remember things they say and do during a manic state? my father has bipolar mania 1 and has been in a non stop manic state for almost 4 months now i really really need any help i can get please help!

    • Anonymous
      valade
      Jan. 06, 2010

      My brother is bipolar and in the middle of a severe manic state. I looked up resources on the internet to help me deal with him. And I found this wonderful website, written by a person with bipolar disorder. It's an excellent resource to show bipolars because it's clever and super logical - like my brother. I found a lot of interesting pointers in it about...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      My brother is bipolar and in the middle of a severe manic state. I looked up resources on the internet to help me deal with him. And I found this wonderful website, written by a person with bipolar disorder. It's an excellent resource to show bipolars because it's clever and super logical - like my brother. I found a lot of interesting pointers in it about how to respond: stay calm, don't argue, encourage him to see his psychiatrist. And a lot of pointers for the person with the disorder.

       

      http://www.livingmanicdepressive.com/C_027.html

       

      This website has a lot of resources and links:

      http://www.pendulum.org/bpcoping.htm#states

       

      When a bipolar comes out of a manic state, they often wonder why their loves ones didn't stop them from doing stupid things (so they probably don't remember what we say). I don't think they will retain all the things they said and wrote. Though they could if they tried. Perhaps others with the disorder can answer that question better.

  • pieface22003
    Nov. 05, 2009

    THE ONLY THING I WANT OR ASK FROM A DOCTOR IS TO TELL ME ALL THE SIDE EFFECTS OF THE MEDICATION THAT THEY GIVE ME GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO SAY WHETHER OR NOT I WANT TO RISK DIABETES OR TARDIV DYSKINESIA. I DID NOT GET THAT CHOICE INSTEAD I ALMOST LANDED UP IN A DIABETIC COMA WHERE MY 4 YEAR OLD HAD TO CALL 911 BECAUSE HE COULD NOT WAKE ME UP! THEY DID NOT GIVE...

    RHMLucky777

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    THE ONLY THING I WANT OR ASK FROM A DOCTOR IS TO TELL ME ALL THE SIDE EFFECTS OF THE MEDICATION THAT THEY GIVE ME GIVE ME THE CHANCE TO SAY WHETHER OR NOT I WANT TO RISK DIABETES OR TARDIV DYSKINESIA. I DID NOT GET THAT CHOICE INSTEAD I ALMOST LANDED UP IN A DIABETIC COMA WHERE MY 4 YEAR OLD HAD TO CALL 911 BECAUSE HE COULD NOT WAKE ME UP! THEY DID NOT GIVE ME THE CHOICE TO DECIDE IF I WANTED TO LIVE WITH MY MOUTH AND TONGUE TWITCHING UNCONTROLLABLE HELL I DID NOT KNOW IT WAS COMING FROM THE MEDICATION THEY ACTUALLY CALL WHAT I HAD PARKINSONSISM SOMETHING LIKE THAT THEY USE COGENIC TO COUNTER THE TWITCHING BUT I WOULD HAVE A HIGHER CHANCE OF DEVELOPING TARDIV DYSKINESIA, AND NOT ONE PSYCHRIATRIST WOULD INFORM ME OF THOSE RISK FEARING I WOULD NOT TAKE THOSE DRUGS, NO ONE SHOULD GET TO DECIDE ON HOW YOU END UP WHETHER IT IS DEAD OR WITH TARDIVE DYSKINESIA FOR LIFE, AND HAVING TO DEAL WITH BIPOLAR WITH NO DRUGS FOR EITHER CONDITIONS!! THAT IS THE DECISION OF THE PATIENT THAT IS WHY THE LAWS CHANGED IN OUR FAVOR TO NOT BE FORCE TO TAKE SOMETHING THAT CAN END UP HARMING US, YES I GOT EDUCATED REAL QUICK, I GET ON THE COMPUTER AND UNDERSTAND THE RISK AND WHEN I SAID THE MEDICATION SHOULD ONLY BE TAKEN FOR EPISODE I GOT THAT FROM THE MAKERS OF THE CRAP! THE DOCTORS CHANGE THE DIRECTIONS TO EVERYDAY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITHOUT GIVING DAM ABOUT OUR PHYSICAL HEALTH! I WANT TO HEAR FROM ANYBODY THAT THINKS I AM JUST PLAIN WRONG! 

    • Anonymous
      kt
      Nov. 05, 2009

      I am very sorry if I was offending you. I was talking to the lady that might have misinterpreted what you were trying to say. No, I am not saying that medication is a must. I am saying that the bipolar shouldn't be ignored. I realize that there are very nasty effects to it, but I was saying in my brother's and my fiance's case, they have told me that they have...

      RHMLucky777

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      I am very sorry if I was offending you. I was talking to the lady that might have misinterpreted what you were trying to say. No, I am not saying that medication is a must. I am saying that the bipolar shouldn't be ignored. I realize that there are very nasty effects to it, but I was saying in my brother's and my fiance's case, they have told me that they have felt much better, happier, and healthier overall after taking their prescribed medication.

       

      Again, I am sorry for any unintentional offenses.

    • pieface22003
      Nov. 07, 2009

      No actually i am sorry, I kind of just get upset with the way we as patient get treated by the doctors, I just took it out on you! I do believe if the medicine is working you should take it as long as there is no serious side effects I think that is what i am trying to say! I just seen to many people get hurt and die as a result of those drugs including me,...

      RHMLucky777

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      No actually i am sorry, I kind of just get upset with the way we as patient get treated by the doctors, I just took it out on you! I do believe if the medicine is working you should take it as long as there is no serious side effects I think that is what i am trying to say! I just seen to many people get hurt and die as a result of those drugs including me, and it could be prevented, by telling us the risk, or find a drug that don't drive the sugars up! but i do understand your point and concerns, i just don't want you to ever lose a love one because you made the wrong decision in pushing the wrong drug! but by all means your right you should not just stop taking your medicine without good reason! so again i am sorry too!

  • Anonymous
    pieface
    Jul. 10, 2009

    I personally have bipolar, and the advice that i give to my family is not to disagree, argue while i am having a active bipolar high, the reason for that is when a person is having a episode, they are already agitated, and all a argument is going to do is prolong the episode or make it worse, the key is to help us come down from the episode asap.

    • Anonymous
      Anonymous
      Aug. 18, 2009

      In my experience with my sister, the only thing you can do is keep it short and to the point with no editoralizing:  You are on a manic, please call your doctor and get the help you need.

       

      In my sister's case, her job deals with mass public transportation, which is frightening. It sounds nice to simply state it's a brain chemistry issue that will...

      RHMLucky777

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      In my experience with my sister, the only thing you can do is keep it short and to the point with no editoralizing:  You are on a manic, please call your doctor and get the help you need.

       

      In my sister's case, her job deals with mass public transportation, which is frightening. It sounds nice to simply state it's a brain chemistry issue that will eventually go away, but the reality is... when on a severe manic, they are incapable of sound judgments and therefore shouldn't be driving or dealing with public safety issues.  I'm actually praying my sister gets fired or forced to go on a medical leave in order to prevent a catastrophe.  (this is not in response to the directly above post....)

       

      Bipolar is *so hard* on the family.  I usually have to detach:  not answer her calls or emails because she terrorizes us with her mania.  It's so sad.

    • Anonymous
      DaisyMom
      Aug. 19, 2009

      Thank you for your advice. My daughter is very touchy about any reference to her manic behaviors and hangs up on me if I make any reference to manic behavior, then won't speak to me for weeks. Nevertheless, I think you are right. Thanks for your input. Best, DaisyMom

    • pieface22003
      Sep. 21, 2009

      yea your  point well taking about public safety, but bipolar falls under the disability act, you can't just fire someone for having bipolar. and it is true we do get irrational but at no time have I ever put my children in danger, that confuse the hell out of the doctors and my family, they were impressed on how I protected my girls, I never allowed men...

      RHMLucky777

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      yea your  point well taking about public safety, but bipolar falls under the disability act, you can't just fire someone for having bipolar. and it is true we do get irrational but at no time have I ever put my children in danger, that confuse the hell out of the doctors and my family, they were impressed on how I protected my girls, I never allowed men in my house or near it, my kids was clean the house was clean they were fed and i did all of that while taking my trips in and out the hospital, I had family support when things did not feel right, I call my aunts, their grandparents, family members, but everyone is different and if you think your sister is a danger to the public then all means say something file a complaint, because at least if something goes wrong you can sue later! but I just want people to understand that there are different levels of bipolar. I don't sleep around, gamble, spend money excessively "anymore" no drugs or alcohol "ever" so I hope that counts for something. and good luck with you sister.

    • pieface22003
      Oct. 12, 2009

      You know i was reading what you wrote about your sister and how hard it is to deal with your sister while she is manic, and you are bringing me to tears, I have bipolar been suffering with it for years, i never knew what others was talking about until my daughter got bipolar, talk about turning the tables around, I am to the point that I actually avoid her...

      RHMLucky777

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      You know i was reading what you wrote about your sister and how hard it is to deal with your sister while she is manic, and you are bringing me to tears, I have bipolar been suffering with it for years, i never knew what others was talking about until my daughter got bipolar, talk about turning the tables around, I am to the point that I actually avoid her fear of what she will accuse me of next. now i am starting to feel guilty and depressed, thinking about what i have put family and friends through over these years

    • pieface22003
      Oct. 12, 2009

      You know i was reading what you wrote about your sister and how hard it is to deal with your sister while she is manic, and you are bringing me to tears, I have bipolar been suffering with it for years, i never knew what others was talking about until my daughter got bipolar, talk about turning the tables around, I am to the point that I actually avoid her...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      You know i was reading what you wrote about your sister and how hard it is to deal with your sister while she is manic, and you are bringing me to tears, I have bipolar been suffering with it for years, i never knew what others was talking about until my daughter got bipolar, talk about turning the tables around, I am to the point that I actually avoid her fear of what she will accuse me of next. now i am starting to feel guilty and depressed, thinking about what i have put family and friends through over these years

    • Amanda
      Jun. 25, 2010

      I am also bipolar and I have to say that I am highly annoyed by many of the comments on this thread from family members.  Yes, bipolar disorder is hard on family members of course.  But, it is hardest on those afflicted by bipolar disorder.   And, I think people surrounding people with bipolar tend to lose sight of that and make it about...

      RHMLucky777

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      I am also bipolar and I have to say that I am highly annoyed by many of the comments on this thread from family members.  Yes, bipolar disorder is hard on family members of course.  But, it is hardest on those afflicted by bipolar disorder.   And, I think people surrounding people with bipolar tend to lose sight of that and make it about themselves.  My mother, my sister, and my friends all decided that the best time to insult me was when I was at my lowest.  When crying and reaching out for help, my friend told me that I lie to make myself feel better, my mother told me that I expect everyone to love me the same way,  my sister screamed at me that I was sick. When calm and well, and better equipped to handle this type of comment, my friends, mother and sister don't speak to me this way.  To this day these comments gnaw at me.  Believe me, I knew that I was having an episode long before anyone else did, but I wanted to handle it my way.  I personally was hospitalized by my family members on two occasions.  And years later I am still highly resentful.  As irrational or illogical as I may have been, I did not deserve to have all control and freedom taken away from me.  And actually, although I can see that from the perspective of someone listening I must have sounded random and illogical, there actually was a lot of logic behind what I was saying.  But, even if there wasn't, I believe there are times in life when it isn't necessary to be logical, and it is ok to be metaphysical.  The hospital setting was  not a good place to convalesce, if anything it was more damaging to my psyche and self esteem - to be forced to explain yourself again and again, to be forced to endure the condescending talk from doctors, forced medications, the sights and sounds (moaning, screaming, pacing.. etc) from other patients more disturbed than myself -- it is awful!  Even during the worst moments of my mixed manic/depressive episode, I was functioning - waking up on time, showering, making my own meals, getting to work on time, and albeit with difficulty, focusing enough to get through the day.  It was nobody's place to judge me, to make it their business to decide what was best for me.

       

      And this comment about hoping your sister gets fired from her job is the worst of all.  Seriously, if I were your sister, I would definitely have a few choice words for you. 

       

      I am a professional person.  I have an incredible amount of responsibility in my job.  I live a very full life with a loving husband and we are planning to start a family this year.   I would like to dedicate my life to overturning misconceptions and misunderstanding about bipolar disorder.  But what an uphill battle that would be with all of the stigma out there, how much prejudice I would meet. 

       

      Honestly, in my 33 1/2 years of life, I have spent 33 1/4 of those years more stable, rational and reasonable than most people classified as normal. 

       

      To even further that, in my humble opinion, I think that every "normal" person has the capacity to become manic given the right concoction of stressful events.  Really, I think we are all bipolar, but most people never break through the self-erected wall that we put in place to protect our own egos.  If everyone really decided to analyze themselves, dissect their own pasts, deconstruct their own identies, and call it all into question, I think everyone would collapse.  I've heard people say that bipolar people just don't have the strength to deal with everyday stress, that it all become's too much.  In my opinion, most people don't have the strength to face the truth about their own lives, and that my episodes were a result of me having that strength.  I learned a lot about myself through my episodes.  

       

      Some sources cite hyper-religiousity and hyper-sexuality as symptoms/ characteristics of mania.  I definitely displayed what an onlooker would deem those symptoms.   But what I think those onlookers didn't understand is that I was actually dwelling on those subjects because

       

       

       

       

       

       

    • Anonymous
      Anonymouse
      Jun. 06, 2012

      That's amazing. Yes. You are so on it. I work breaking down that exact stigma, it does work. We are all on the continuum and don't need to pathologise natural reactions to events by re:TRAUMATISING individuals with our scant, frightened, oppressive and judgemental views.

    • Anonymous
      Mary Ross
      Dec. 11, 2010

      I feel bad for you.  My sister is Bi-polar and yes it is so sad.  Please take care of yourself and be strong as I have to do.  God Bless    

    • lvgbplr
      May. 06, 2012

      and how do you think it is on the person with bipolar who has no control of this disease and even after being medicated and receiving therapy nothing works. we know it is hard on the family that makes us feel worse. so i am so sorry you have to point out that it is so hard on the family and you don't want to talk to your family member. well they didnt ask for...

      RHMLucky777

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      and how do you think it is on the person with bipolar who has no control of this disease and even after being medicated and receiving therapy nothing works. we know it is hard on the family that makes us feel worse. so i am so sorry you have to point out that it is so hard on the family and you don't want to talk to your family member. well they didnt ask for this disease and they need your support to stabilize, they are the ones who have to live with the disease and they do not intend to cause you harm. i hope you will think about this when you don't want to support them emotionally because it is too draining for you. do you know how draining it is to be the person that has to deal with this everyday?? and the guilt you feel. also without support suicide is  unfortunately very high in persons with bipolar disorder.

    • Anonymous
      tinam
      Mar. 11, 2013

      "...well they didnt ask for this disease and they need your support to stabilize, they are the ones who have to live with the disease and they do not intend to cause you harm. i hope you will think about this when you don't want to support them emotionally because it is too draining for you. do you know how draining it is to be the person that has to deal with...

      RHMLucky777

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      "...well they didnt ask for this disease and they need your support to stabilize, they are the ones who have to live with the disease and they do not intend to cause you harm. i hope you will think about this when you don't want to support them emotionally because it is too draining for you. do you know how draining it is to be the person that has to deal with this everyday?? and the guilt you feel...."

       

      I wanted to respond to what you said which is stated above.  My husband who has bi-polar disorder has been told repeatedly that of course he didn't ask for this, and doesn't deserve it, but it's still nonetheless his responsibility to manage it.  This means

      1. taking his meds.  period.

      2. creating a dependable routine, especially with sleep habits

      3. eating foods that support wellness, mental and physical

      4. educating himself as much as possible on how to keep from relapsing

      5. support - getting it, and integrating it into his life

       

      My husband only takes his medicine.  I realize that I should be thankful for this, because I know how often bipolar patients do not take their meds.  But my feeling is that since he doesn't do the other four things, that he is intending more harm in his life and ours by default.  In other words, by neglecting his given treatment plan, he knows deep down that he will be hurting the ones he loves, and jeopardizing his own wellness.  So, I don't really buy your argument that they don't "intend" to harm us.  I would think that when the bipolar patient is in a well phase, that they would see that they don't want to feel the guilt and go through the manic phases even if they are considered "not that bad" or are over quickly, and would take on these lifestyle changes that can keep the disorder away.  So, your defensiveness seems to show that you're not willing to be empathetic to the family members in your life who have to live with your disorder out of love for you.  Your family members are making a sacrifice for you, and it needs to be acknowledged by you.  It would mean so much to your family members, believe me.  This is the huge sticking point in my life.  If my husband were doing everything he could to keep the bipolar at bay, it would mean the world to me, and would show me that he values my commitment to our marriage, and that he is doing his best to make up for the episodes in which he lashes out, is hurtful and sometimes irrational.  But he doesn't.  He often doesn't apologize for things he says and does.  I have to be the one to remind myself of the disorder, to swallow my hurt, to keep it all together, to be strong in the face of being put down or worse. 

       

      Love your loved one by treating yourself as much as you can.  Embracing your wellness is best for everyone, especially yourself. 

       

      Tina

       

    • Anonymous
      I need help
      Aug. 19, 2009

      I do sympathize with anyone suffering with bipolar or the family of a the loved one who has it.  My son is 34 and is in a manic state.  He has been hospitalized twice this year after 4 yrs of not being in the hospital.  He has been working for 3.5 years at a job he hates.  He wants to return to school but recently learned he cannot forbear...

      RHMLucky777

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      I do sympathize with anyone suffering with bipolar or the family of a the loved one who has it.  My son is 34 and is in a manic state.  He has been hospitalized twice this year after 4 yrs of not being in the hospital.  He has been working for 3.5 years at a job he hates.  He wants to return to school but recently learned he cannot forbear his loan any longer and must being payment.  He is unable to pay and wants to stop paing us rent so that he can pay his loans and school bill.  At first I wa annoyed and told him no one can live for free that only sent angered him more.  My mom had to speak to him for two hourson the phone before he calmed down.  I am trying so hard to understand this illness.  my husband and daughter thinks he is ju  st imature and needs to get his act together.  I thnik my husband is trying to understand a little more.  My daughter is angry because my son attacked her and said he was going to kill her.  He spent the night in jail and went to court.  SHe is on a pretrail probation period until October.  I am so concerned that if we don't learn how to handle him when he is manic somethind more is going to happen.  What advice do you have?  I forgot to mention he smokes pot which makes the meds less effective and he drinks beer.  Most social gathering we have there is acohol there and my son drinks a beer or two even though he know I do not approve.  I need help dealing and coping with this.  I am so tried of being tried.  My son was diagnosised in 2001.  I know now he has symptoms when he was a teen I just didn't understand at that time.

    • DaisyMom
      Aug. 19, 2009

      Sorry to hear about your son. My daughter is 34, too, and I find that her manic behavior is characterized much more by anger, irritability, agitation, belligerence, intolerance and gandiosity, now that she's older. She has her own apartment with a roommate, so she's not in my household. She, too, drinks even though she's not supposed to, but...

      RHMLucky777

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      Sorry to hear about your son. My daughter is 34, too, and I find that her manic behavior is characterized much more by anger, irritability, agitation, belligerence, intolerance and gandiosity, now that she's older. She has her own apartment with a roommate, so she's not in my household. She, too, drinks even though she's not supposed to, but no longer in my presence. I had to be very firm about that. I recently read that alcohol is particularly bad because it interfers with sleep and sleep is an important factor in remaining stable. The last time she visited, she secretly drank up all the alcohol in the house, so now I've forbidden it at my house, I even hide what we have (if any), don't serve it with meals, and don't order it when we're out with her. Likewise, if I find out she's smoking pot or any other drugs, I tell her I cannot be part of her life unless she adheres to the regimen her doctor prescribes.

       

      She went off her meds and became horribly manic, paranoid and delusional recently and spent 2 weeks in the hospital. Since then she's been a bit better, but stopped speaking to me because I questioned her judgment of something. I heard from her yesterday for the first time in a few weeks. She said she was lonely. My heart aches for her. It's quite difficult, especially as a mother, to see the pain and the struggle and be unable to fix it.

       

      I can't say that I've found a way to talk to my daughter when she's manic. I wish I could share some solution with you, but I haven't found anything that works for me yet. If I do, I promise to share it with you.

    • nancyu
      May. 17, 2012

      Daisymom,

      I, too, have a 27 year old daughter who is at the present in a manic state.  School loans due, no job, and an occasional gambling problem...last week she lost $2000 between credit cards, cash etc....I am firm with her and won't entertain the pity party she loves to throw.  She lives alone and texts' everyone constantly and if they don't...

      RHMLucky777

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      Daisymom,

      I, too, have a 27 year old daughter who is at the present in a manic state.  School loans due, no job, and an occasional gambling problem...last week she lost $2000 between credit cards, cash etc....I am firm with her and won't entertain the pity party she loves to throw.  She lives alone and texts' everyone constantly and if they don't reply she becomes even more furious.  She has a mental health councelor, case manager, mentor and still she refuses to take her "resaptale"(?) daily, lives in such a slobbish manner.  She was late diagnosed at age 17 with aspergers, but I am being told she also has bipolar.....It is so devasting with the continual drama of pretend suicide....the hospital has her flagged in red as a difficult patient....but no one seems to want to put her in a place for further diagnosis....very frutstrated that I can't find a local (Salem, OR) adult social environment for bipolar types that she could attend (free of charge)...how do these children of ours make it?

    • pieface22003
      Oct. 27, 2009

      life is rough, my daughter suffers from bipolar as I mention before there is no getting through to her, she is not rational or making any real sense, i pointed out her behavior and the fact she does things and feel she doesn't have to apologize, I basically cut her off financially and emotionally, if she is not willing see that she has a serious problem  then...

      RHMLucky777

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      life is rough, my daughter suffers from bipolar as I mention before there is no getting through to her, she is not rational or making any real sense, i pointed out her behavior and the fact she does things and feel she doesn't have to apologize, I basically cut her off financially and emotionally, if she is not willing see that she has a serious problem  then she will have to pay the consequences, I refuse to argue with her or get caught up in her episodes life is to short, and i have to deal with my own illness, the fact is until a person is willing to accept that something is deeply wrong, they will never get better!

    • Anonymous
      Mary Ross
      Dec. 11, 2010

      TO PIEFACE....Whoa, I realize it's hard to deal with someone you love that is bi-polar but Mam, don't be so hard on your loved one.  I can see not giving her all your money, but be compassionate about her moods.....she's SUFFERING AND SCARED!!!!   Please be a little softer and more loving to your flesh and blood and just love her so you don't...

      RHMLucky777

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      TO PIEFACE....Whoa, I realize it's hard to deal with someone you love that is bi-polar but Mam, don't be so hard on your loved one.  I can see not giving her all your money, but be compassionate about her moods.....she's SUFFERING AND SCARED!!!!   Please be a little softer and more loving to your flesh and blood and just love her so you don't have to live to regret it!!!!   I have a family member that is bi-polar and I agree it's extremely hard, but please don't harden your heart.  You probably need meetings for family members that have bi-polar.   I will pray for you.

    • nancyw
      Feb. 16, 2012

      my daughter is 34 and bipolar.  we have been through everything you can think of. 

      alcahol abuse (in patient treatment 2x) in the hosptal several times with lethal amounts.  she also has eating disorder anorexia and bulimia treated as out patient and then hospitalised. 

      finally found a hospital that treated all three and she was doing much...

      RHMLucky777

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      my daughter is 34 and bipolar.  we have been through everything you can think of. 

      alcahol abuse (in patient treatment 2x) in the hosptal several times with lethal amounts.  she also has eating disorder anorexia and bulimia treated as out patient and then hospitalised. 

      finally found a hospital that treated all three and she was doing much better but she is now living home with her bipolar illnes and eating problem and they can't seem to get the right meds for her.  she lost her job her insurance is ended and she was denied social security disablility which we are now appealing.  Her seroquel meds costs over $900 a month her adequel meds are $400 a month and her asthma medicine is $200 a month  not to mention her neurotin meds $50  my husband and I are retired and at are witts end!!!  what is the answer?  what do we do?>?? 

    • DaisyMom
      Aug. 19, 2009

      Thanks for the advice. Can you elaborate a bit? What are some ways of calming someone in a bipolar high?

    • pieface22003
      Aug. 21, 2009

      let me answer the question on how to calm a person dow while on a bipolar high

      1) take them somewhere quiet and dark

      2) asked them what is going on, and how are they feeling, let them explain what is going inside their head, this is a way of getting them to realize that they are on a bipolar high, and need to calm down.

      3) don't agitate or tell the person they...

      RHMLucky777

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      let me answer the question on how to calm a person dow while on a bipolar high

      1) take them somewhere quiet and dark

      2) asked them what is going on, and how are they feeling, let them explain what is going inside their head, this is a way of getting them to realize that they are on a bipolar high, and need to calm down.

      3) don't agitate or tell the person they are out of control, let them figure it out themselves

      4) think of a activity like going on a quiet walk away from stores (LOL) no shopping. maybe painting or writing down what they are feeling.

      5) shut down all phones if possible, and keep away visitors if possible

      6) offer some medication is the person had not taken it yet

      7) keep away from televisions, soft music okay

      but the main thing is to keep calm patient and understanding, because believe it or not we do get embarrassed of our behavior and to mention that can trigger a episode of depression and suicide i hope this helpful. remember I am bipolar and these things work for me.

    • Anonymous
      hello223
      Sep. 03, 2009

      Thanks for this list. I have someone close to me with rapid cycling bipolar and borderline, and this list is exactly what I'm looking for. As a member of her support system, I am not going to rely on doctors or meds every time - I need to understand how to help her ride out her mania without causing too much damage.

    • pieface22003
      Sep. 16, 2009

      I am glad that i am able to help some of you, I will have to admit to having to study my own behavior, I also want to advise people to be careful with medication because it can cause more harm then good, my advice is once a person calms down get off the meds and start learning how to control the stress levels to reduce the nasty side effects of some of those...

      RHMLucky777

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      I am glad that i am able to help some of you, I will have to admit to having to study my own behavior, I also want to advise people to be careful with medication because it can cause more harm then good, my advice is once a person calms down get off the meds and start learning how to control the stress levels to reduce the nasty side effects of some of those drugs. I go through episodes from time to time, but I've learned why i feel the way I do and it is easier for me to deal, sometimes I do get out of control and when that happens I take my meds long enough to get me through it. I want people to understand that diabetes and tartive diskinsia "I did not spell it rite, but you know what I trying to say, they very serious side effects that can make your life a living hell, and doctors continue to hide those serious side effects from their patients. but please continue to  be patient, but do not take abuse from us "bipolar patients" calmly let them know there are bounderies, and never let them try and start a fight, take nothing personally, that they say, trust me that disease make us say and do thing we normally would not do.

       

    • Anonymous
      kt
      Oct. 27, 2009

      i understand that you have bipolar disorder, but i do not agree with your statement about stopping medication once an episode is over with. episodes are unpredictable. the chemicals in your brain are imbalanced. if you are diabetic you do not wait until your glucose accumulates in the blood before you take action. you must be proactive.

       

      i have experienced...

      RHMLucky777

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      i understand that you have bipolar disorder, but i do not agree with your statement about stopping medication once an episode is over with. episodes are unpredictable. the chemicals in your brain are imbalanced. if you are diabetic you do not wait until your glucose accumulates in the blood before you take action. you must be proactive.

       

      i have experienced this, not as a bp person, but as a sister and girlfriend of people with bp. my brother was diagnosed with bipolar at the age of nine. when he moved to live with his dad, his dad took him off his medication. this caused him to go into drug abuse and hypersexuality. he recovered for several years, but after more episodes he is now spending time in jail at the age of 23. with my boyfriend, he has only suffered from bipolar disorder for a few years. i knew what i was getting into when we first started dating; i had seen enough from my brother to know. the disorder is the hardest thing i've had to face in my life, and i'm sure it will be the hardest. things like this don't just disappear. his episodes overall come and go in quick, rapid cycles; he is happy in the morning, but pissed the whole night (or vice versa). however, he always seems to do much better when he takes his medicine.

       

      if you are wary about medicine, which i personally am one of those people (even when i'm extremely sick or down with a cold i'll be stubborn for weeks before i give into medicine), then omega 3 fatty acids might be your thing. this is a more natural approach to treatment. i've read this both in online articles and books. (good point-read up on bipolar if you are bp or know someone who is). take a few capsules each day and increase your intake if you feel an episode coming on. they are all natural so they are perfectly healthy (very good to take even if you are not bp!!--i take them, hehe) and there are no side effects.

       

      sincerely,

               kt

    • pieface22003
      Nov. 05, 2009

      First off, the only people that know about bipolar are the people that live with it, you are some one who has a hard time dealing with it, you don't need to school me on the effects, i live the shit everyday, you can push those drugs all you want, but i damn near died as a result of those drugs, I got my physical health back, and that diabetes is no where to...

      RHMLucky777

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      First off, the only people that know about bipolar are the people that live with it, you are some one who has a hard time dealing with it, you don't need to school me on the effects, i live the shit everyday, you can push those drugs all you want, but i damn near died as a result of those drugs, I got my physical health back, and that diabetes is no where to be found since i stop those drugs, i am not anti-drugs I believe in most cases they are truly needed, but when the medication can take your life then you need to re-evaluate the situation, you study the medication and you read about how they are supposed to be taken, and no where on there does it say that you are to continue to take them for life it is for a episode and then you need therapy to control the stress level.  I became a diabetic like so many other through those damn medication and some people have lost their lives, because they was not warn of those dangers and i dam near lost mine, but i quickly got off those pills with the help of my medical doctor who agreed that they were in fact killing me getting off those drugs not only save my life but it took away the diabetes that should not have been there in the first place, so whether you agree or not is your issue but when your love one dies as a result don't go running to a attorney claiming you were injured, I have confronted my therapist and my psychriatrist, about not telling us the true risk and after the debate they both said yea it was wrong to do more harm to the patient they acknowledge everything I have said, but in the end I believe each patient should be informed of all the risk they are taking and if they want to take that risk well at least it was their choice not yours or doctors and therapist who truly don't give a damn, I am sorry for getting pissed off, but i believe in a person also keeping their physical health, don't make this issue about you because it's not you have no idea what hell we go through unless you have it yourself, thank god my family and friends loves me even through a episodes, and they believe that i was smart enough to know when something could really destroy my life, screw diabetes  what about  TARDIVE DYSINESIA something you can't treat or get rid of and once you get you have to stop the drug now you got bipolar and this nasty disease then what? or course you don't care because your the one that don't have to live with it! but you do what is best for your love one because in the end i am going to keep  my physical health intact! the only message I am spreading is the medication worth taking for the rest of your life with the ending result of ultimatly destroying your health in the end! read about the drugs before you agree or disagree maybe you need to be with patients who been on those drugs for a longtime then you get back to me!  

    • pieface22003
      Nov. 05, 2009

      The remark about diabetes, I did not let sugars rise in my blood stream they rose because the the doctors and drug company forgot to mention to us that the drug will cause your sugars to rise and possibly give you diabetes, I did not have diabetes or even have clue that was a side effects, it was lawsuit and i was paid, my sugars are normal no diabetes to be...

      RHMLucky777

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      The remark about diabetes, I did not let sugars rise in my blood stream they rose because the the doctors and drug company forgot to mention to us that the drug will cause your sugars to rise and possibly give you diabetes, I did not have diabetes or even have clue that was a side effects, it was lawsuit and i was paid, my sugars are normal no diabetes to be found because i stop the drug! next time know what your talking about! and by the way they been normal for 5 years now! and the twitching has stop too, i can now control my mouth and tougue! yea thats right i was on my way to developing TARDIVE DYSKINESIA! but like i said I know I have bipolar I understand what we put our love ones through, but in the end I have the love and support, and will take my medicine to get me through it, but don't let a love one fool you, they know dam well when a episode is coming, it usually start with someone saying the wrong thing or a stressful situation! and if your family is ending up in jail don't blame it on bipolar blame on them just not given a crap, the behavior can be control to a certain extent i suffered with it for over 20years and never seen a jail cell or had random sex matter of fact I have been sleeping with the same man for over 20 years, and yes I know everyone is different because i don't drink nor do drugs! But my grandmother did it all, and I seen the hell she put her family including me through as a child, not knowing i would fall victim to the crap. but you know what i think you are just trying to make sure that everyone does what is right for them! I am so sorry for coming at you so harsh i just got fraustrated especially about the diabetes comment, i hope you can give me some in sight on what you feel i said wrong! thanx it might help me understand your point more!

    • pieface22003
      Sep. 16, 2009

      I am glad that i am able to help some of you, I will have to admit to having to study my own behavior, I also want to advise people to be careful with medication because it can cause more harm then good, my advice is once a person calms down get off the meds and start learning how to control the stress levels to reduce the nasty side effects of some of those...

      RHMLucky777

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      I am glad that i am able to help some of you, I will have to admit to having to study my own behavior, I also want to advise people to be careful with medication because it can cause more harm then good, my advice is once a person calms down get off the meds and start learning how to control the stress levels to reduce the nasty side effects of some of those drugs. I go through episodes from time to time, but I've learned why i feel the way I do and it is easier for me to deal, sometimes I do get out of control and when that happens I take my meds long enough to get me through it. I want people to understand that diabetes and tartive diskinsia "I did not spell it rite, but you know what I trying to say, they very serious side effects that can make your life a living hell, and doctors continue to hide those serious side effects from their patients. but please continue to  be patient, but do not take abuse from us "bipolar patients" calmly let them know there are bounderies, and never let them try and start a fight, take nothing personally, that they say, trust me that disease make us say and do thing we normally would not do.

       

    • Anonymous
      frustratedmother
      Sep. 12, 2009

      I am taking in all this information and am so appreciative for it.  I am the mother of a 13 yr old boy diagnosed with bipolar.  I am currently dealing with the school system who seems to want to push him off to a behavioral center instead of learning how to meet his needs.  He has an IEP and in my reading and researching what I can do am trying...

      RHMLucky777

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      I am taking in all this information and am so appreciative for it.  I am the mother of a 13 yr old boy diagnosed with bipolar.  I am currently dealing with the school system who seems to want to push him off to a behavioral center instead of learning how to meet his needs.  He has an IEP and in my reading and researching what I can do am trying to empower myself to become his advocate.  I certainly wish more educators would become educated with bipolar instead of just blaming "typical 13 yr old boy behavior" and chalking it up to being stubborn or oppositional.  It is so frustrating as I have now become the educator to those who don't want to learn and it's all to make their teaching experience better for everyone. 

    • pieface22003
      Sep. 21, 2009

      o boy you have a problem, because a lot of time people  just think you have a bad kid or worse that you are doing something to cause your child to act out, my daughter started displaying signs of mental illness at 13, you would have thought i would have caught it, but all I thought was that she was just being bad, and acting out when actually , bipolar...

      RHMLucky777

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      o boy you have a problem, because a lot of time people  just think you have a bad kid or worse that you are doing something to cause your child to act out, my daughter started displaying signs of mental illness at 13, you would have thought i would have caught it, but all I thought was that she was just being bad, and acting out when actually , bipolar was starting to take hold of her. I will admit, that guilt eats me up, knowing I have pass this disease to her, I see her struggle and feel her pain, but i stay away because I can't deal with seeing  her like that. My hope is that she will one day  understand that there's some help and relief and most of all support out there for her, but for now she is learning the hard  way just like me. If at all inform your 13 year old with books on bipolar and find a groups that can help him or her identify what is actually going on inside his or her head. knowledge is power for both patient and caregiver.

    • Anonymous
      kt
      Oct. 28, 2009

      wow

      i am deeply sorry

       

      my advice is to talk to a professional, whether that be a doctor or counselor, about sitting down with school faculty to discuss bipolar disorder.

       

      bipolar is something that not near enough people are aware of. this is one of my biggest frustrations, as i am both a sister and a girlfriend to bp people. it hurts so much when...

      RHMLucky777

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      wow

      i am deeply sorry

       

      my advice is to talk to a professional, whether that be a doctor or counselor, about sitting down with school faculty to discuss bipolar disorder.

       

      bipolar is something that not near enough people are aware of. this is one of my biggest frustrations, as i am both a sister and a girlfriend to bp people. it hurts so much when people judge without knowing anything about the disorder.

       

      taking a big step like this may seem scary but i believe it is something that you must do in order for your son to be sucessful and treated fairly at school. let the faculty know that this is a medical as well as a mental condition (more reason for a professional to be present) and that it is not an excuse for misbehavior or poor work, but rather a reason behind his actions. let them know that you want them to better understand what he is going through, and that he may even need sick days off when he has an episode. (have a counselor excuse him for these).

       

      i wish you the best of luck!!

    • pieface22003
      Nov. 05, 2009

      YES I SEE YOUR CONCERN O BUT LET ME TELL YOU BIPOLAR IS COMING OUT IN FULL FORCE, I STARTED EDUCATING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY ON MY CONDITION I AM ON FACE BOOK ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT IT, THEY HAVE COMMERCIALS ON TV, AND EVEN ON THE SIDE OF BUSES, NOT KNOWING AND UNDERSTANDING IS WHAT LEAD TO MY TROUBLES AND BEHAVIORS, ONCE I EDUCATED MYSELF, I CAN CONTROL...

      RHMLucky777

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      YES I SEE YOUR CONCERN O BUT LET ME TELL YOU BIPOLAR IS COMING OUT IN FULL FORCE, I STARTED EDUCATING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY ON MY CONDITION I AM ON FACE BOOK ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT IT, THEY HAVE COMMERCIALS ON TV, AND EVEN ON THE SIDE OF BUSES, NOT KNOWING AND UNDERSTANDING IS WHAT LEAD TO MY TROUBLES AND BEHAVIORS, ONCE I EDUCATED MYSELF, I CAN CONTROL IT TO A CERTAIN POINT AND THEN MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY TAKE OVER AND IF IT BECOMES TO MUCH I TAKE THE MEDICATION LONG ENOUGH TO GET ME THROUGH, BUT MOST DAYS I DO GREAT, SO GREAT THAT MY DOCTORS SAY THE MEDICATION IS WORKING GREAT WHICH IS CONFUSING SINCE I KNOW I AM NOT TAKING IT, BUT IF THEY SAY I AM DOING GREAT IN MY MIND THE MEDICATION WAS NOT NEEDED EVERYDAY, BUT I AM SURE IT WILL GET INTO SCHOOLS ONE DAY! IT MAY BE SLOW, BUT IT WILL GET THERE!

    • Anonymous
      kt
      Oct. 28, 2009

      i really like this list.

      i just used it within the last thirty minutes maybe.

      my boyfriend was angry with me because we live six hours away

      (he is a freshman at college and i am a senior in high school)

      and i had something going on (again) where we didn't have time to talk

       

      i told him not to hold in his feelings and to let everything out

      although he wasn't...

      RHMLucky777

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      i really like this list.

      i just used it within the last thirty minutes maybe.

      my boyfriend was angry with me because we live six hours away

      (he is a freshman at college and i am a senior in high school)

      and i had something going on (again) where we didn't have time to talk

       

      i told him not to hold in his feelings and to let everything out

      although he wasn't too vocal about it.. he did say that the problem was "we're apart"

      and i think letting him know that i was there to listen and support him made him feel comforted

       

      :-)

       

      one thing in my case is though, i'm not going to bring up something like medicine while he is having an episode. although i believe very much that medicine is going to help, it is up to him to remember or his choice to take it. he wants to take it anyways. but of course this would be much different if your loved one was refusing treatment of any kind.

       

       

    • pieface22003
      Nov. 05, 2009

      YEA JUST TRY AND BE PATIENT KNOW THE RISK OF THE DRUGS, I DON'T TAKE MY MEDICATION EVERYDAY BECAUSE I ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF IT! BUT I AM WILLING TO TAKE IT IN A SEVERE EPISODE, AND SINCE I AM AWARE OF WHEN ONE IS COMING ON I TRY EVERYTHING TO CALM IT DOWN BEFORE I HIT THOSE MEDS! BUT  HONESTLY BIPOLAR IS A LONG LIFE ILLNESS, AND EACH PERSON STRUGGLE DEPENDS...

      RHMLucky777

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      YEA JUST TRY AND BE PATIENT KNOW THE RISK OF THE DRUGS, I DON'T TAKE MY MEDICATION EVERYDAY BECAUSE I ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF IT! BUT I AM WILLING TO TAKE IT IN A SEVERE EPISODE, AND SINCE I AM AWARE OF WHEN ONE IS COMING ON I TRY EVERYTHING TO CALM IT DOWN BEFORE I HIT THOSE MEDS! BUT  HONESTLY BIPOLAR IS A LONG LIFE ILLNESS, AND EACH PERSON STRUGGLE DEPENDS ON WHAT THEY ARE WILLING TO ACCEPT ABOUT THE ILLNESS, AND WORK WITH IT INSTEAD OF AGAINST IT, BY ALL MEANS ENCOURAGE THE MEDICATION BUT WATCH FOR DIABETES AND A LOT OF TWITCHING IF YOU DON'T SEE ANY OF THOSE PROBLEMS KEEP HIM ON IT IF IT TRULY MAKE HIS LIFE BETTER! IN THOSE CASES I SAY GO FOR THE MEDICATION, BUT STAYING ON THE MEDICATION KNOWING THE MEDICATION IS THE REASON FOR THE DIABETES AND ALLOWING THEM TO GIVE MEDICATION TO BRING DOWN THE SUGARS IS PLAYING WITH A LIFE NO MATTER HOW YOU LOOK AT IT!

    • Anonymous
      Mary Ross
      Dec. 11, 2010

      DEAR DAISY MOM, 

      TALK CALMLY, DON'T TRY TO CORRECT THEM, GIVE THEM LOVE, LOVE, AND MORE LOVE, BUT, if you feel that they are in danger in ANY

      WAY, HAVE THEM EVALUATED IF POSSIBLE AND GET IN TOUCH WITH A PROFESSIONAL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.  AS AN EXAMPLE, IF YOU FEEL THEIR DRIVING WILL CAUSE AN ACCIDENT OR IF YOU FEEL THEY WILL HARM THEMSELVES OR...

      RHMLucky777

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      DEAR DAISY MOM, 

      TALK CALMLY, DON'T TRY TO CORRECT THEM, GIVE THEM LOVE, LOVE, AND MORE LOVE, BUT, if you feel that they are in danger in ANY

      WAY, HAVE THEM EVALUATED IF POSSIBLE AND GET IN TOUCH WITH A PROFESSIONAL AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.  AS AN EXAMPLE, IF YOU FEEL THEIR DRIVING WILL CAUSE AN ACCIDENT OR IF YOU FEEL THEY WILL HARM THEMSELVES OR OTHERS IN ANY WHICH WAY....GET HELP IMMEDIATELY

    • Anonymous
      Anonymous
      Nov. 21, 2009

      how do you make you come down.  I know not toget caught up in it but I do. its the anger that scares me.. I to am afflicted, but not so bad anymore, since I resigned myself to meds. which I should of done 20 yrs. ago. I usually walk out the door when things get bad

    • Anonymous
      needtoknow
      Jan. 25, 2010

      Hello everyone, I am new to this site.  My son is 15 and is bp.  He just had a manic episode on Friday. One on my others sons friends were here at the house and one of the friends said something that triggered his manic.  He was so out of control that he was yelling and hitting the car windows and came in the house and broke my big screen tv...

      RHMLucky777

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      Hello everyone, I am new to this site.  My son is 15 and is bp.  He just had a manic episode on Friday. One on my others sons friends were here at the house and one of the friends said something that triggered his manic.  He was so out of control that he was yelling and hitting the car windows and came in the house and broke my big screen tv with his hands.  His hands were cut and swollen from the breaking of the tv screen.  I am so scared of him hurting someone or himself when he is in this stage.  He is taking meds, but they seem to only work on depression and anxiety.  His episodes of anger are the ones who scare me and make me so sad inside.  I am scared to call 911 because he tells me he will hurt himself if they take him.  I don't know how to help him not get worse during his anger episodes.  :( :(   I am calling his doctor to see if he can give me something when he gets in this stage or prevent it to get that bad.(??)

    • 0909anna
      Dec. 26, 2011

      How do u help someone come down.  I have a 10 year old daughter and I took her and left because my husband was creating huge irrational fights that escalated to violence.  He was constantly saying things about me and my boys from another marriage to other people that were not true to make himself appear rightous and victimized.  I thought he...

      RHMLucky777

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      How do u help someone come down.  I have a 10 year old daughter and I took her and left because my husband was creating huge irrational fights that escalated to violence.  He was constantly saying things about me and my boys from another marriage to other people that were not true to make himself appear rightous and victimized.  I thought he was a chronic liar and knew there was something wrong with him I blamed his alcoholism.  Former functioning alcoholic was dry for yrs and when it got real bad I thought he was probably drinking again.  The arguements were sooooooo unreal the things he would scream at me were so farfetched and irrational and bizarre, his point of view so skewed and his self victimization was ridiculous.  So one night I took my daughter and left.  We went to a marriage counselor in which he got extremely upset when I told her why I left and what he did... he would not admit he did anything and change the subject to well she does this... and it was a lie... so I would get up to leave and he would say wait wait you just want me to sit here and listen to what a prick I am.. so the counselor would ask him straight out and again deflection... after a month she said it was pointless to come in if you are not going to participate... when we left the office he blamed her saying she was not qualified did not know what she was talking about... etc etc... we then got a older counselor who he wanted to have separate sessions with... so he could lie about his life.. I would not agree to go to separate sessions unless we also had joint sessions so he was unable to lie.. still believing he was a chronic liar.  He went to his sessions with her for a month and she referred him to a dr. in psychiatry for medication... these two doctors had no input from me and what was truly going on.  She diagnosed him depression and bipolar.  He refused the bipolar medication and agreed to take the anti depressants he was on a dose that seemed to help a bit... she upped his dose and he had an extreme manic episode.. the worste ever.   I called her and told her what happened and he went on a lower dose and was stable for a couple months.  xmas day... yesterday he came to my families house and started having bizarre thoughts that everyone was against him and swears I was talking crap about him right in front of him and it never happened...  he got aggitated and rude and I had no idea why... I walked into the room where he was sitting alone and quietly wanted to ask what was up...  so I leaned down and said in a whisper whats wrong.. whats going on.  I did not find out until we left... he almost wrecked the car with us in it screaming and raging about his bizzare perception of reality... everyone was very very nice to him it was soooo faulty it was insane.  when I had asked him what was wrong so no one else could hear... that was turned into me getting in his face and causing a scene for everyone that hated him's benefit.  He got ugly and every irrational thought he has ever had came pouring out.... while me and my little girl tried to convince him he was wrong but he just got crazier.. I heard what I heard over and over again... face red and raging and swerving...   There is no talking to him rationally...   I told him you are bipolar and this is a manic episode it is not rational.. nothing u are saying really happened and it just gets worse and he gets more ugly... my daughter is yelling dad stop that did not happen and he is screaming at me I poisoned her mind and coached her... we just got into the car and this was our first introduction to his demented thoughts...  I kept turning on the radio to ignore his vent.. but he kept slamming it off with my hand still on the button and yelling more... I turned on my phone so he could hear himself later... and this pissed him off and he started saying stuff to the camera on the phone that I supposedly did to set him off that did not happen.. to me it is like being around an insane person... I can not do it ... my daughter can not do it.  He refuses to believe it is his faulty perception, when everyone tells him what he said happened did not really happen he says I got everyone against him that I am trying to control him.  I dont want to even be around him let alone control him.  He is refusing to read about his diagnosis.. he said his dr says it is being depressed and it is everyone elses fault he is depressed...  if it was not for all this imaginary things happening to him he would be fine.   what do I do now.. ?  He is my childs father, he is great when he is normal and he can be normal for months... every holiday he goes manic and stays that way from a week to a few and then is fine for a bit... I cant take it anymore.  P

    • Anonymous
      Lynnagain48
      Jan. 29, 2013

      My husband is 54 & two & 1/2 years ago he had a breakdown, there was a lot of stress from his elderly parents, his sister, his business, his workers.  He started on me saying I was cheating on him & lying, he told this to our 20 yr old daugher, his parents & his sister.  I never cheated, I may have white lied to keep stressful things...

      RHMLucky777

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      My husband is 54 & two & 1/2 years ago he had a breakdown, there was a lot of stress from his elderly parents, his sister, his business, his workers.  He started on me saying I was cheating on him & lying, he told this to our 20 yr old daugher, his parents & his sister.  I never cheated, I may have white lied to keep stressful things from him but that's it.  He seemed to get better, however, his sex drive is crazy, most women would think I should be happy about that, but he just never gets enough & we can make passionate love one night & the next day & night he wants more & than sulks because I don't.  I'm going through pre-menopause & my hormones are raging than he bursts out you cheated on me or did so & so flirt with you, why are you late coming home, etc...  Facebook has become his every day all day thing, he doesn't work much, he drinks egg nog during the time he's on facebook, than I come home from work tired & get upset when I see him there at the computer.  Last night we had the worst episode, he again went on about a male friend of his that he asked me if he ever hit on me.  What.... out of the blue, than he rambles on about this & that & I get upset, we throw words & than it gets physical.  I know now I shouldn't get upset & back down, but he knows the right buttons or should I say hurtful words to make me upset & the menopause I'm going through doesn't help.  I'm on meds for that but he refuses to beleive he has a problem because when he goes into his moods I get upset & make it worse so its my fault.  I called the police but he said he was getting his guns to shoot them if they come get him.  I lied to the police & said I hit 911 instead of 411 & all is Ok.  No its not, but I had no idea that he could have bipolar or OCD.  or both.  I did make an appointment with a counsler for us, we did that 2 years ago but things were going well so we thought it was just a stress break down & all is good.  He can't get away from the same stresses & new ones seem to just throw him into a fit.  I'm glad I found this site, but still, Its so hard to go through all this.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous9
    Sep. 06, 2008

    I have a friend that was diagnosed with bipolar a year ago and then went off his meds and relapsed last month. I was their when his wife called 911 to send him to the hospital partly just to be a witness to the fact that he really needed to go. He’s out now and better than the day he left but only slightly. He has a "push" of words, rambling thoughts,...

    RHMLucky777

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    I have a friend that was diagnosed with bipolar a year ago and then went off his meds and relapsed last month. I was their when his wife called 911 to send him to the hospital partly just to be a witness to the fact that he really needed to go. He’s out now and better than the day he left but only slightly. He has a "push" of words, rambling thoughts, an attraction to rhyming/reversing/repeating words (is that epanalepsis or echolalia or something else?) verbalizing sexual thoughts, and assertions of divinity. That said he still likes my wife and me and cares about our opinion. It was difficult talking to him but he responded positively to limit setting like "Hay, that’s not polite" and "if you want to talk to me you need to let me speak too". One thing he wanted to say to us was that he didn't want to go back to the hospital. He heard us, if only briefly, when we said, "I can tell by the way you’re speaking that you’re not totally well yet". It was hard to accept him and listen to him to find topics of conversation.  One thing that worked was reading the dictionary for the origins of words.  The Oxford is better than the Webster’s is for that.

    I'm planing to visit him tomorrow and try to talk about what he thinks his condition is. His wife is going to run out of energy if he doesn’t improve soon.

    • DaisyMom
      Sep. 08, 2008

      Sorry. 911 is a tough call to make. Last November/December I had to call for my daughter. It was worth it. She was pretty well stabilized when she got out of the hospital a week later and it lasted until around Spring. Then she started fooling around with her meds again. Her doctor was prescribing dexadrine -- which I find unbelievable. It made her pretty manic...

      RHMLucky777

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      Sorry. 911 is a tough call to make. Last November/December I had to call for my daughter. It was worth it. She was pretty well stabilized when she got out of the hospital a week later and it lasted until around Spring. Then she started fooling around with her meds again. Her doctor was prescribing dexadrine -- which I find unbelievable. It made her pretty manic again and got into some trouble: someone took a court order out against her. Still, she rejects anything I say. I'm basically not allowed to talk to her about her illness or meds or behavior, etc. When I do, she hangs up on me, leaves awful emails and voice mail messages for me, and that can last for days. So when I do speak to her on the phone, our conversation is completely one-sided because she talks incessantly, and can go on for hours, so I just listen until I can't anymore and tell her I have to go. Sometimes I can't even understand what she's saying because she talks so fast.

       

      I'm sure this isn't helping you! I'm sorry. I wish I had some advice for you. I wish there was a place to go to learn how to respond to bipolar patients. If you hear of one, let me know. In the meantime, keep in touch if it helps.

       

       

    • pieface22003
      Aug. 21, 2009

      O my god, I am reading some of the things you guys are saying about people with bipolar which is what I have, but I do have to laugh, because you are making us out to be insane, but i do admit that i do drag my entire family through hell, and payback is a son of a bit** my daughter has bipolar, and she let one of those episode out on me accusing me of destroying...

      RHMLucky777

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      O my god, I am reading some of the things you guys are saying about people with bipolar which is what I have, but I do have to laugh, because you are making us out to be insane, but i do admit that i do drag my entire family through hell, and payback is a son of a bit** my daughter has bipolar, and she let one of those episode out on me accusing me of destroying her life, and all I did was pay her phone bill, buy her food, and give 500 hundred dollars for rent, and she went off on me, which than trigger my bipolar.  But you need to patient and just don't re-act to anything we say just agree and try and direct our attention to something else positive, and do it calmly. what ever you do don't engage in combat it is not worth it and you will prolonged or make the episode worse. and call 911 if things become dangerous.

    • pieface22003
      Aug. 21, 2009

      O my god, I am reading some of the things you guys are saying about people with bipolar which is what I have, but I do have to laugh, because you are making us out to be insane, but i do admit that i do drag my entire family through hell, and payback is a son of a bit** my daughter has bipolar, and she let one of those episode out on me accusing me of destroying...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      O my god, I am reading some of the things you guys are saying about people with bipolar which is what I have, but I do have to laugh, because you are making us out to be insane, but i do admit that i do drag my entire family through hell, and payback is a son of a bit** my daughter has bipolar, and she let one of those episode out on me accusing me of destroying her life, and all I did was pay her phone bill, buy her food, and give 500 hundred dollars for rent, and she went off on me, which than trigger my bipolar.  But you need to patient and just don't re-act to anything we say just agree and try and direct our attention to something else positive, and do it calmly. what ever you do don't engage in combat it is not worth it and you will prolonged or make the episode worse. and call 911 if things become dangerous.

    • Budamom
      Apr. 14, 2010

      I sooo identify with your story.  My son just turned 25 and was diagnosed at 15.  It has been an up and down battle ever since.  The lithium helps, but he constantly sabotages his stability with other medications - he thinks he has ADD, then he thinks he is the only person in the world who CANNOT get up in the morning and needs "medication"...

      RHMLucky777

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      I sooo identify with your story.  My son just turned 25 and was diagnosed at 15.  It has been an up and down battle ever since.  The lithium helps, but he constantly sabotages his stability with other medications - he thinks he has ADD, then he thinks he is the only person in the world who CANNOT get up in the morning and needs "medication" to correct it, then he thinks he has narcolepsy, then he has an allergy to his dog and has room air purifiers everywhere, the list goes on and on.  Right now, one of his doctors has given him Adderall.  He is paranoid and a little manic - but he cannot see this behavior when we try to bring it to his attention.  WE are always the ones who have the problem, not him.  I'm frustrated and scared and worried and just plain TIRED of the constant drama with him.  My older daughter doesn't even like to speak to me about his condition because she says "it's always something with him."

       

       

    • Anonymous
      candy
      Feb. 27, 2012

      oh my gosh i am so scared after reading all the stories..im sure my 33 year old has biopolar too ...so frightened ...i worry she will hurt herself or someone or a car accident..she cannoth handle the smalled of problems anymore ..she also takes zanax ..these doctors prescribe it like its candy ...i don[t know what to do...she was so hyterical on the phone with...

      RHMLucky777

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      oh my gosh i am so scared after reading all the stories..im sure my 33 year old has biopolar too ...so frightened ...i worry she will hurt herself or someone or a car accident..she cannoth handle the smalled of problems anymore ..she also takes zanax ..these doctors prescribe it like its candy ...i don[t know what to do...she was so hyterical on the phone with me ....how do you take someone to the hospital if they refuse help

    • familiesofbipolar
      Jun. 04, 2010

      My brother had what the doctors called a drug induced psychotic episode. He did several drugs and he was up for 7 days, my mother and dad locked their bedroom doors everyone was scared of him and what he would do. He was picked up by the police department and spent 7 days on suicide watch he it was so bad, he said and did things that were so far out there,...

      RHMLucky777

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      My brother had what the doctors called a drug induced psychotic episode. He did several drugs and he was up for 7 days, my mother and dad locked their bedroom doors everyone was scared of him and what he would do. He was picked up by the police department and spent 7 days on suicide watch he it was so bad, he said and did things that were so far out there, the officers said he was stripped down to nothing and deficating and throwing it everywhere. The age he was at we could not admit him and if he admitted himself he could walk out at anytime. He thought I had hired someone to kill him, he said he talked to God (which he probably did. I have a sister also that has manic episodes and she does it like when my mom is in the hospital and she makes it impossible for everyone. We do not know what to do my mom and dad do not need this, their health is not good. She says things like Guess what I did today and we say what she says burning clothes. When asked why she says I dont know? We asked where and she said behind the hospital.  Its scarey because we dont know if she is lying or being truthful. She has been up for 7 days, and she took 3 clonapin and it didnt even touch her she is still up and going. The pharmacist said to get some natural remedy and it didnt work either. She cant be admitted because of her age. We are afraid she will do something to someone in the family. Help

    • dee
      dee
      Sep. 26, 2010

      well, i understand. here's the thing, my mom my savior always tells me, i know when you are sick you never do. it's true, i never knew when i was manic but my mother always did. what i wanted and i'm speaking about your friend, was validation. what i believe your friend is looking for is someone to listen to the irrational beliefs validate him then give advice...

      RHMLucky777

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      well, i understand. here's the thing, my mom my savior always tells me, i know when you are sick you never do. it's true, i never knew when i was manic but my mother always did. what i wanted and i'm speaking about your friend, was validation. what i believe your friend is looking for is someone to listen to the irrational beliefs validate him then give advice for a better solution. explain to him that it is bio chemical in the brain, it isn't his fault, he needs to get medicine to slow down his thinking. he may too have anxiety disorder that goes hand with mania and he can get medicine for that, i suggest the best one out there is BUSPAR. explain that he matters it's his chemicals in his mind that just need to be calmed. he is not well yet, i agree if he is acting this way after the hospital. he needs anti psychotics and the anxiety medicine. hey, i'm well, worked for me.

  • Anonymous
    joelnjus
    Feb. 17, 2008

    I am bipolar, and have experienced manic episodes.

     

    All of the behaviors your daughter exhibits are typical of a person with elevated levels of serotonin, and norepinephrine suspended in the synapse of neurons in her brain.

     

    When I am manic I often entertain thoughts which are pretty unusual.

     

    The thing about a manic person, is that they are operating...

    RHMLucky777

    Read More

    I am bipolar, and have experienced manic episodes.

     

    All of the behaviors your daughter exhibits are typical of a person with elevated levels of serotonin, and norepinephrine suspended in the synapse of neurons in her brain.

     

    When I am manic I often entertain thoughts which are pretty unusual.

     

    The thing about a manic person, is that they are operating at a heightened level of perception compared to you, their energy level is sensitive, and they are easily moved upward.  So, if you want your daughter to calm down, you will have to calm down.  Pressuring her or telling her what to do will only terrorize her.

     

    Don't take her challenges too seriously, remember, being manic is not a crime or a sin, it is a heightened level of brain chemistry which lasts for a while and is then gone.

     

     

    • Anonymous
      Marlene Kemp
      Jan. 28, 2009

      Thank you so much for your insight from within a manic episode. My daughter is 28 and bipolar. She was diagnosed in 2000. She spent 3 days in the psych ward. She has never had to go back thank God. She has been trying to ween off her depakote for years. Every time we end up in the same place. In the begining of a manic episode. That is where we are today. I...

      RHMLucky777

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      Thank you so much for your insight from within a manic episode. My daughter is 28 and bipolar. She was diagnosed in 2000. She spent 3 days in the psych ward. She has never had to go back thank God. She has been trying to ween off her depakote for years. Every time we end up in the same place. In the begining of a manic episode. That is where we are today. I want to give my daughter the respect and dignity that she deserves. I try so hard not to be condescending when convincing her that she needs her meds. Maybe I should stay out of it. Her boyfriend convinced her to put up the title to her car to bail him out of jail. When she gets better she will be very angry with herself that she did this. He does not think she needs meds. I dont want to medle in her life. I hate that part of this. But what kind of mom just looks the other way and lets her daughter go down with a sinking ship?

    • Lida
      Sep. 25, 2010

      My 34 yr old daughter has been diagnosed with bipolar.  I cannot talk to her without getting angry.  My main problem is her neglecting her children. Tonight her 15 is going to a birthday party, when I asked her who and where she did not know.  Three weeks ago she would have known all of this and wondered if she should drive him or let him go...

      RHMLucky777

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      My 34 yr old daughter has been diagnosed with bipolar.  I cannot talk to her without getting angry.  My main problem is her neglecting her children. Tonight her 15 is going to a birthday party, when I asked her who and where she did not know.  Three weeks ago she would have known all of this and wondered if she should drive him or let him go with friends.  She also is texting and carrying on with a man on the internet that is 20 years older than herself.  Councilers have told her she cannot have both lifes...she must give up the facebook guy or her husband and children.  What does she do?  she lies about it.  I just don't know what to do.

  • Anonymous
    Jeanette
    Jan. 25, 2008
    Can anyone PLEASE help us find a residential facility anywhere in this country for our 20 yr old bi-polar daughter? The ones we've found don't take insurance and want astronomical amounts of money. We're desperate. She has agreed she needs it but we can't find it....anyone??? Thank you, Jeanette
    • DaisyMom
      Jan. 26, 2008

      Jeannette,

       

      I'm so sorry. I, too, looked for one that either took insurance or was affordable, but found nothing. If you come across a facility, please post the information for me and others.

       

      The only other thing I can recommend is finding an outpatient program that takes insurance. I and my daughter are in NYC and there are several programs here...

      RHMLucky777

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      Jeannette,

       

      I'm so sorry. I, too, looked for one that either took insurance or was affordable, but found nothing. If you come across a facility, please post the information for me and others.

       

      The only other thing I can recommend is finding an outpatient program that takes insurance. I and my daughter are in NYC and there are several programs here that seem good. One was recommended by the hospital my daughter was in most recently, but she refused to go. Another was a program my daughter went through when she was your daughter's age. To this day, my daughter says what she learned there is still relevant and useful to her. 

       

      Finally, if all else fails, have you seen The Bipolar Workbook: Tools for Contolling Your Mood Swings, by Monica Ramirez Basco? My daughter refuses to look at it--I bought a copy for her and a copy for me. I think it's fabulous. It's full of daily exercises designed to help the bipolar person "keep mania from ruinig your life" and "break the cycle of recurring depression" by learning coping strategies.

       

      Hope something here helps and I hope your daughter is willing to help herself, that is key. At your daughter's age, my daughter was willing. Now that she's in her 30's and has had a relapse, she rejects all my suggestions. This is a very treatable disease, I'm told by numerous psychiatric professionals, and it requires more than taking medication. 

       

      Best wishes,

      DaisyMom 

    • Anonymous
      Jeanette
      Jan. 29, 2008
      Dear Daisy Mom..thanks for taking the time to get back to me. It's so sad that our girls just won't help themselves, isn't it? Although Rachel is only 20, she was also diagnosed early in life with ADD without hyperactivity. She has never liked to read or focus long on anything. She has Courage to Heal workbook for sexual assault survivors, but won't...
      RHMLucky777
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      Dear Daisy Mom..thanks for taking the time to get back to me. It's so sad that our girls just won't help themselves, isn't it? Although Rachel is only 20, she was also diagnosed early in life with ADD without hyperactivity. She has never liked to read or focus long on anything. She has Courage to Heal workbook for sexual assault survivors, but won't open it. Right now she is stable, but we know the next wave of uncertainty and tension is coming.

      Maybe we could stay in touch and be of help to each other? We live in a little town in Indiana - not too many resources here. The one that was trying to help her set her up with an apartment, classes, therapy, everything. She got kicked out for having drug related stuff in the apt. She now lives with us. We don't feel we can leave her alone in our house. We've learned to just take one day at a time. Jeanette
  • Anonymous
    Heart broken mom
    Jan. 18, 2008

    Dear Daisy Mom,

     

    I do empathize with you.  My 27 year old son became manic in 2001 from what the medical profession calls "drug induced."  10 hits of acid and taking extacy (sp).  He was in and out of the psych ward for a couple of years, until he stablelized himself by smoking pot--I must say, it has lasted for about...

    RHMLucky777

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    Dear Daisy Mom,

     

    I do empathize with you.  My 27 year old son became manic in 2001 from what the medical profession calls "drug induced."  10 hits of acid and taking extacy (sp).  He was in and out of the psych ward for a couple of years, until he stablelized himself by smoking pot--I must say, it has lasted for about 4 years.  He finally got his life in order, keeping his last (and hopefully current) job for right at 2 years.  It is a stressful job for him because of the lack of considertation of others not doing their part in production. Over the holiday break, he-out of the blue-became manic.  Heart breaking!  He's done so well for so long.  Anyway--that is my exact question as you asked--How do you talk/respond to someone who is manic.  He has been very aggessive and aggitated--you can't say anything that he does not want to hear.  My son is a kind hearted, giving soul--this is not my son.  Last night I yelled at him and immediately felt like I was slime of the earth.  I need to understand his state of mind--I want him to reconnect with us, so showing him our love and talking calmly to him, and not contradicting him--and in time, he will come back--he did before, he will again.  I would love to know though, what set him off??  He supposedly gave up the drugs that got him into this in the first place. 

     

     

    • DaisyMom
      Jan. 18, 2008

      So sorry to hear this. I know how disappointing and painful it is. Since my daughter got out of the hospital a month ago, she seems more and more to be on a path toward stabilization. I sense that she's careful about what she tells me, though, so it's possible she's still doing things she shouldn't be doing and just being more careful of what...

      RHMLucky777

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      So sorry to hear this. I know how disappointing and painful it is. Since my daughter got out of the hospital a month ago, she seems more and more to be on a path toward stabilization. I sense that she's careful about what she tells me, though, so it's possible she's still doing things she shouldn't be doing and just being more careful of what she lets on. Since the whole drug episode in November & December, the company she keeps, etc., I don't trust her or believe her the way I did before and that is very painful for me to say. Our relationship is so different now.

       

      Anyway, as far as talking to her goes, I generally try to talk to her and treat her with the same expectations as I have for anyone else. When she's acutely manic, though, I keep my mouth shut. I'm careful not to condone things like doing drugs, or staying up all night, but I try to keep it friendly so she doesn't cut me off or cut me out of her life completely. She doesn't live with me, she has her own apartment so when she cuts me off, I have no way of knowing how she is or if she's safe.

       

      One thing that helped me alot--in addition to this website--was joining a local peer group specifically for friends and family of people with mental illnesses. There, I can ask questions like this and get feedback about what worked for them and what didn't; and I get support for me. I think that very often, there's nothing you can do for someone who's manic, but having a support group helps me cope.

       

      Does your son live at home?

    • Anonymous
      Kathy
      Jan. 02, 2009

      My daughter is 20 years old. I beleive she is bipolar with out a doubt.  She can not see that she has a problem it's everyone eles with the problem.  She is sooo out of control right now her boyfriend is the only one that she has let back into her life, and she is controling him, he is trying to keep her happy so he will know where and what she...

      RHMLucky777

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      My daughter is 20 years old. I beleive she is bipolar with out a doubt.  She can not see that she has a problem it's everyone eles with the problem.  She is sooo out of control right now her boyfriend is the only one that she has let back into her life, and she is controling him, he is trying to keep her happy so he will know where and what she is doing. He slips and keeps me inform.  I have to get her help but not sure how and where to start with the hollidays.  I want her to admit she needs help, any sugestions as to how we can help her with that.

    • pieface22003
      Sep. 16, 2009

      If you believe your daughter is bipolar, your best bet is to get a book and let her read the symptoms and see if they relate to her, when I came down with bipolar i did not have clue what the hell was wrong with me, I was loud, i did not sleep i could not sit, or even focus, I sat around and spend money i did not have buying things i did not need, and the whole...

      RHMLucky777

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      If you believe your daughter is bipolar, your best bet is to get a book and let her read the symptoms and see if they relate to her, when I came down with bipolar i did not have clue what the hell was wrong with me, I was loud, i did not sleep i could not sit, or even focus, I sat around and spend money i did not have buying things i did not need, and the whole time I believed I was sane, but people notice the behavior but they would comment but they didn't have a clue that I was mentally ill, most people was focusing on my intelligence and brilliance, some bipolar do get that! but your daughter or son needs a wake up call before they wake up in prison or end up dead, force the issue any way you can!! 5150 is a damn good start, it worked wonders for me now i am educating myself and family on the disease.  I am still a little off but at least i now understand why and i can laugh and make fun of myself. good luck!!!

    • scared too
      Nov. 08, 2010

      oh my poor son too just a couple of days ago he went manic i want to talk him back to reality as i call it he is also 27 lives at home always has he dosent  understands is how i feel other people are fed-up i cant be but i get so sick inside cry cry cry for me and him i feel he is lost and dosent understand he is so sick his beliefs are so far fectched...

      RHMLucky777

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      oh my poor son too just a couple of days ago he went manic i want to talk him back to reality as i call it he is also 27 lives at home always has he dosent  understands is how i feel other people are fed-up i cant be but i get so sick inside cry cry cry for me and him i feel he is lost and dosent understand he is so sick his beliefs are so far fectched i just cant possible believe he believes he is this person hes become he mean and then turns around and apolizes i think he even nows why he says sorry you hear so much and the rudeness is unbelieveable well it was nice to sit and write this i cant say it to any one else and if he saw me do it i would be one of the people after him.he gets really paranoid soon i will have to close my house up phone rings is that someone after me not looking forward to that

       

  • Anonymous
    Carolinemom
    Dec. 18, 2007

    You don't. The truth is that when a person is in a manic state she can't really listen to you, so it's useless to talk.

     

    Your story sounds similar to mine.  My daughter is now living in a residential facility. She's 34. We get along better and she doesn't really have a desire to live independently or work even though she's...

    RHMLucky777

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    You don't. The truth is that when a person is in a manic state she can't really listen to you, so it's useless to talk.

     

    Your story sounds similar to mine.  My daughter is now living in a residential facility. She's 34. We get along better and she doesn't really have a desire to live independently or work even though she's very smart.

     

    I don't want to discourage you. Your daughter may be better able to cope than mine.

     

    I came on the website to ask if anyone knows of any long term residential facilities.

    • DaisyMom
      Dec. 19, 2007

      Thanks, Carolinemom. At this point, I don't think my daughter would agree to a residential facility. She likes her independence. However, that may change if she keeps on the way she's been going because I'm not paying her rent again and, although she's expecting to get back on disability, that's not much to keep up a Manhattan apt. Her last...

      RHMLucky777

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      Thanks, Carolinemom. At this point, I don't think my daughter would agree to a residential facility. She likes her independence. However, that may change if she keeps on the way she's been going because I'm not paying her rent again and, although she's expecting to get back on disability, that's not much to keep up a Manhattan apt. Her last roommate left when things got unstable and crazy at the beginning of December. Now that my daughter is out of the hospital, she's agreed to go to an outpatient facility and this particular one is going to help her find a suitable roommate that will support her in remaining stable. I have my fingers crossed. But even now, after her hospital stay and even though she's back on meds, she still is talking nonstop, becomes confrontational if I disagree with anything she says, and still has a "know it all" attitude which precludes listening to anything anyone says. I was heartened, though, in one of my conversations with her since she got out of the hospital that she actually stopped to ask me how I was!!! If she is going to have successful relationships, like with a roommate, I expect her behavior toward others will need to change. As you say, though, she isn't listening right now.

       

      It sounds like you found a residential facility for your daughter? I do think about that for my daughter, but does it cost alot? Maybe Social Security Disability will pay for some if it, if my daughter were to lose her apartment?

       

      Thanks for your reply!

       

      DaisyMom

    • Stephanie
      Feb. 21, 2014
      I'm sure most of us family members are not trying to persecute our bi polar loved ones however you all need to realize how cruel evil and mean and how much pain and trauma that causes us ! It's like you are oblivious ! Bi polar are extremely selfish ..I'm sorry but it is all about them ..and as much as I love my husband who is a good man when normal or depressed...
      RHMLucky777
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      I'm sure most of us family members are not trying to persecute our bi polar loved ones however you all need to realize how cruel evil and mean and how much pain and trauma that causes us ! It's like you are oblivious ! Bi polar are extremely selfish ..I'm sorry but it is all about them ..and as much as I love my husband who is a good man when normal or depressed it's like the walking evil when manic ..oh how all of u are victims ..frankly ..it's tiring ..I couldn't possibly do more or want more or have been there for my husband and he has no problem fucking me over ...so to those of you that are bi polar ..it's with the grace of god that I haven't retaliated and decide to be the bigger person ..because truthfully ..If I could sit on top of him and beat the living day lights out of him for things he has done I would if I actually thought he'd snap out of it so there ........that's what being around a bi polar person has done to a good decent normal human being
  • Hopeful mom
    Dec. 13, 2007

    Our son hated the hospital.  He hated the restrictions and he held a lot of anger toward us for putting him there. 

     

    The best thing you can do is let her know you love her.  If visiting her is too much, talk to her on the phone.  Keep the conversations brief and don't argue with her.

     

    You did the right thing and she's in...

    RHMLucky777

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    Our son hated the hospital.  He hated the restrictions and he held a lot of anger toward us for putting him there. 

     

    The best thing you can do is let her know you love her.  If visiting her is too much, talk to her on the phone.  Keep the conversations brief and don't argue with her.

     

    You did the right thing and she's in the best place she could be.  She's angry but hopefully they'll figure out what's going on with her and make her better.  She's at least safe right now.

    • Anonymous
      Hawna
      Nov. 03, 2010

      Ya! Can you blame him! The hospital is aweful. But, point out to him how brave he is for taking the steps to keep a relationship with his family and society. Remember this disease is like a cancer that never goes away. All you can do is manage it. I have so much respect for ones going threw this disease.

    • Hopeful mom
      Nov. 04, 2010

      We're 3 years past that experience now and I can honestly say that the hospitalization was the best thing for our family.  My son has been stable now for 3 years this January.  The best and most important thing you can do is get them the help they need. 

  • Eric
    Dec. 13, 2007

    The better question is… how do I communicate anything to anyone that is high or drunk? You can’t because they won’t remember for one and the drug addictions makes them into a totally different person with different personalities. The drug is all they crave and it does the talking such as sell something to get me more money to buy more drugs....

    RHMLucky777

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    The better question is… how do I communicate anything to anyone that is high or drunk? You can’t because they won’t remember for one and the drug addictions makes them into a totally different person with different personalities. The drug is all they crave and it does the talking such as sell something to get me more money to buy more drugs.

     

    The bipolarism is actually secondary as to which issues to address. So what you’re left with is someone that is going through drug withdrawals (hospital setting is the best place to have this done…good job mom) and they will say or do anything to get out and back to the drug.

     

    If you were just dealing with a manic high which in itself is bad enough, I would have been recommending straight up honesty even when hard to answer questions are brought up. Was your daughter diagnosed bipolar prior to the drug addiction? You say your daughter was picture perfect prior to the illness…if she were in fact bipolar it has been with her from the get go.

     

    The majority of people that are drug addicts aren’t bipolar. The addiction to drugs holds no boundaries on age, sex, social standings or race…no one is immune to it. My best advice is to get her treated for her drug addictions and after she is clean and sober for awhile see how she is then.

     

    If your even second guessing of whether you should have placed her in the hospital… stop it right now…you did a wonderful thing for your daughter in keeping her safe and out of harms way even if she doesn’t feel that way right now, at least she is alive!

    • DaisyMom
      Dec. 14, 2007

      Thanks for your support, Eric. The hospital is releasing her today. Too soon in my opinion, she's still exhibiting symptoms of mania, but they weened her off her xanax addiction, had no access to cocaine or pot and she now remembers that the hospital is an awful place to be. Hopefully, this will translate into behavior that doesn't lead to the...

      RHMLucky777

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      Thanks for your support, Eric. The hospital is releasing her today. Too soon in my opinion, she's still exhibiting symptoms of mania, but they weened her off her xanax addiction, had no access to cocaine or pot and she now remembers that the hospital is an awful place to be. Hopefully, this will translate into behavior that doesn't lead to the hospital. In NYC, all you have to do is pick up the phone to get a drug delivery. Unfortunately, an undesireable acquaintance whom my daughter met in the hospital 8 years ago and who was out of her life for the last 3 years, is now back in her life. This young woman is a drug abuser, alcoholic, and also bipolar. I hope, with all my heart, that my daughter resists that relationship and closes that door. We'll see.

       

      The hospital set my daughter up in an outpatient program. She has the tools to improve her life, I hope she uses them.

       

      Thank you for your thoughts. I have to go get her at the hospital!

       

      --DaisyMom

    • Kath050
      Jun. 30, 2010

      My ex-boyfriend was diagnosed as bi-polar two years ago.  He has been in and out of the hospital three times now and even ended up in jail once.  He is now at the point of losing everything he worked so hard for over the past ten years.  He still has not come to the realization that he needs to be medicated and go to therapy to enjoy a normal...

      RHMLucky777

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      My ex-boyfriend was diagnosed as bi-polar two years ago.  He has been in and out of the hospital three times now and even ended up in jail once.  He is now at the point of losing everything he worked so hard for over the past ten years.  He still has not come to the realization that he needs to be medicated and go to therapy to enjoy a normal life.  I ran out of ways to try to help him last Fall and moved out of his home, so my children and I could try to live a normal life.  i do still worry about him but unless he decides to get help there is nothing I can do.  I hope your daughter realizes how serious it can end up if she doesn't take the right medication. 

    • TL1987
      Apr. 05, 2011

      PUT HER INTO A TREATMENT PROGRAM! A freaking detox isn't going to stop her from doing Xanax! You also need to start going to Alanon or Naranon meetings so you understand more about having a Drug Addict in the family! I was once addicted to Oxycontin for about 7 years, recovery was the HARDEST thing to do - but I can tell you right now, when I finally held no...

      RHMLucky777

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      PUT HER INTO A TREATMENT PROGRAM! A freaking detox isn't going to stop her from doing Xanax! You also need to start going to Alanon or Naranon meetings so you understand more about having a Drug Addict in the family! I was once addicted to Oxycontin for about 7 years, recovery was the HARDEST thing to do - but I can tell you right now, when I finally held no more reservations for the drug and I Wanted recovery bad enough, I had no problem.

       

      Your daughter needs help. Might I Suggest a Treatment Program that offers "dual-diagnosis" - they'll clean her up and after some time if she is still acting manic, they'll treat her for the bipolar as well.

       

      btw - I was diagnosed as bipolar in the first treatment that I went into - I wasn't, it was the effect that years of drug abuse had upon me.

    • Anonymous
      Heidi
      Oct. 07, 2011

      My daughter is 27 and has a learning disability and she is out of control. She has 3 kids and 2 of them are with some other family, her eldest daughter who is 5 lives with us, but my mother and I are her primary care. She is verbally abusive to the family I dont believe her when she says she will try. Then Blam another episode of her manic swings. She has been...

      RHMLucky777

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      My daughter is 27 and has a learning disability and she is out of control. She has 3 kids and 2 of them are with some other family, her eldest daughter who is 5 lives with us, but my mother and I are her primary care. She is verbally abusive to the family I dont believe her when she says she will try. Then Blam another episode of her manic swings. She has been diagnosed by two professionals she's bi-polar and prescribed Abilify and she wont take it. She feels it makes her tired, she only tried it twice, doctors say take it to get it even in her system and her body will get use to it. Just excuses of denile, and it effects everyone. Can professionals come in and hospitalize her for doing this behavior if there is nothing we can do or have tried everything. She is promiscuise and parties and over spends money. Tells me what to do and her 5 yr old is picking up similar verbage.

    • Anonymous
      HP
      Jan. 12, 2012

      Unfortunately she has to want to do it. My mom is an average, sweet little lady when her illness isnt out of control. She had a few episodes with the police and is a registered 5150. If she has 1 more strike she does prison time. This means no freedom to go to Starbucks, go to lunchwith me, watch a movie with her grandkids, watch a sunset on the beach, etc....

      RHMLucky777

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      Unfortunately she has to want to do it. My mom is an average, sweet little lady when her illness isnt out of control. She had a few episodes with the police and is a registered 5150. If she has 1 more strike she does prison time. This means no freedom to go to Starbucks, go to lunchwith me, watch a movie with her grandkids, watch a sunset on the beach, etc. My whole family had to sit her down and make her realize what she had to lose. And that the side effects of the medication were nothing compared to losing her family and freedom. She has been balanced on her meds for a few years now. But, the disease will always be there. I guess its coming to terms with having a disease and realizing that without treatment you will lose your life. Bipolar is a long road to figuring out how to live with it and manage it. But they can't do it alone. Just show you care, and that the disease is ok when treated. My heart goes out to you and her 5 year old. I toke on traits of my mother when reacting to certian cituations. The best thing you can do is be an example, and tell the child that mommy has a disease that makes her over react. Tell the child that she/he does not have the disease so she/he can be calm when trouble comes.... You will be an expert when all this sorts out. Be strong

       

    • Anonymous
      kt
      Oct. 27, 2009

      Although it very well could just be a drug addiction, I don't think a mother would throw around the term bipolar very lightly.

       

      Yes, it is nearly impossible to communicate with someone drunk or high, but it is also hard to communicate with someone who is bipolar.

       

      Even if the bipolar symptoms have just been recent, that doesn't mean she may not...

      RHMLucky777

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      Although it very well could just be a drug addiction, I don't think a mother would throw around the term bipolar very lightly.

       

      Yes, it is nearly impossible to communicate with someone drunk or high, but it is also hard to communicate with someone who is bipolar.

       

      Even if the bipolar symptoms have just been recent, that doesn't mean she may not be bipolar. MANY bp victims go through decades without any bipolar symptoms. This is usually until something traumatic happens, such as moving a far distance away or a close person's death.

       

      Drugs and alcohol ARE a big issue, but I want to be sure the bipolar isn't overlooked. There is a good chance the bipolar is causing the drug abuse and if you're only fixing that.. well, you're not getting to the root of the problem. Don't push it away. Talk to a professional.

       

    • Anonymous
      Hawna
      Nov. 03, 2010

      The drugs and alcohol have nothing to do with the disease. They are seperate. My mother has had bipolar mania all her life. Sometimes she drank alcohol here and there. But, the disease always was there. Medication is the only solution. Unfortunately, manic bipolars like the feeling of the mania they experience. My mother is very good about taking all her meds...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      The drugs and alcohol have nothing to do with the disease. They are seperate. My mother has had bipolar mania all her life. Sometimes she drank alcohol here and there. But, the disease always was there. Medication is the only solution. Unfortunately, manic bipolars like the feeling of the mania they experience. My mother is very good about taking all her meds now to keep her family together. This disease is becoming more obvious in our society now.

    • jim
      jim
      Nov. 23, 2011

      The drugs and alcohol have everything to do with it.  I am a mental health professional, and I commonly see people diagnosed with Bipolar, when the real issue is drugs, other addiction (sex, gambling), ptsd or a combination of depression and anxiety (which can sometimes look like Bipolar).  Let's not forget that people with certain medical problems...

      RHMLucky777

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      The drugs and alcohol have everything to do with it.  I am a mental health professional, and I commonly see people diagnosed with Bipolar, when the real issue is drugs, other addiction (sex, gambling), ptsd or a combination of depression and anxiety (which can sometimes look like Bipolar).  Let's not forget that people with certain medical problems can look like they have Bipolar.  Our society throws around the term Bipolar without really having a good idea what that means.  Bipolar is a strongly genetic illness that, on average starts in young adults.  If no one else in the family has serious problems with mood, it's probably not Bipolar.

    • mba2012
      Sep. 10, 2012

      i am 22 years old and was diagnosed bipolar at the age of seven, do not ask me how they came to that conclusion. Since i was seven i have been in and out of psychiatric hospitals fourteen times (thanks to parents) there was a time that i did not get very much sleep and begged my psychatris to perscribe a sleep medication. He denied that request, which drove...

      RHMLucky777

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      i am 22 years old and was diagnosed bipolar at the age of seven, do not ask me how they came to that conclusion. Since i was seven i have been in and out of psychiatric hospitals fourteen times (thanks to parents) there was a time that i did not get very much sleep and begged my psychatris to perscribe a sleep medication. He denied that request, which drove my parents crazy and later on me as well, so i was already on seraquel 200mg, the sleeping part of the med helped me sleep till they took me off it. I missed a lot of school because after couple weeks without very much rest and the seraquel i felt as if i was on a cloud and even told my teacher who called my parents which resulted in me getting sent home. I decided to take my left over meds of seraquel which mom told me to flush down the toilet which i did not. Decided to take over 1000mg over the course of two day hopeing to get an effect which i did not which is probably why i think they took me off it, in the first place, that was not the drug causing bipolar, that was me being bipolar taking a medicine that i had taken for years, trying to get some sleep by depending on that drug. and nobody in my family is bipolar, so how did i get that at age seven and even develope schizopherneia at the age nine. with all said i am currentlly atending the University of West Georgia majoring in speech pathology on a combination of meds which are affective, so is it the drug causing my episodes or just me.

    • Anonymous
      witsend
      Aug. 03, 2013

      Doesn't bipolar need to start somewhere? I don't buy the notion that just because other family members don't exhibit bipolar that it is probably not bipolar. And, for my mom, who is extremely manic, we cannot look deep into her history for bipolar as her mom died when my mom was only 7. Her father was an alcoholic, so he also may been been self-medicating....

      RHMLucky777

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      Doesn't bipolar need to start somewhere? I don't buy the notion that just because other family members don't exhibit bipolar that it is probably not bipolar. And, for my mom, who is extremely manic, we cannot look deep into her history for bipolar as her mom died when my mom was only 7. Her father was an alcoholic, so he also may been been self-medicating. I'm NOT a professional but from what I've experienced with my mom, she self-medicates her bipolar with alcohol every single time she doesn't take medication. Which came first --egg or chicken?

    • Crystal
      Aug. 04, 2013
      You present an interesting topic. I believe, Yes, Bipolar does come from somewhere in the family. It amazes me in my own family member who most clearly has Bipolar and anxiety. That would be my mother. Her mother had mental illness as well. Dads side, uncles with MI. So I guess I was doomed. Denial is a powerful tool. Believe me when I say, people know when...
      RHMLucky777
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      You present an interesting topic. I believe, Yes, Bipolar does come from somewhere in the family. It amazes me in my own family member who most clearly has Bipolar and anxiety. That would be my mother. Her mother had mental illness as well. Dads side, uncles with MI. So I guess I was doomed. Denial is a powerful tool. Believe me when I say, people know when things are just not right with them. Many use drugs and or alcohol to cope although as I'm sure you have read, they don't cope we'll. Btw, I have Bipolar. I do understand how it effects everyone. It is a awful disease.
    • Gary Crandell
      Jan. 12, 2012

      My wife has exhibited highs and lows since Ive known her.  We retired last year and got hooked on the 3P.M. wine time thing.  We both drank wine and two weeks ago it got out of hand.  We had words and I said some suff I should not have.  We seemed to work it out for about 10 days until we went to church and she turned inward.  Refuses...

      RHMLucky777

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      My wife has exhibited highs and lows since Ive known her.  We retired last year and got hooked on the 3P.M. wine time thing.  We both drank wine and two weeks ago it got out of hand.  We had words and I said some suff I should not have.  We seemed to work it out for about 10 days until we went to church and she turned inward.  Refuses to talk to me and if she does she yells and calls me names.  Anyway her mother had mental issues as well and was in an institute.   

       

      In the past weve have had issues and I tried to talk to her about the bipolar topic.   Needless to say that was not a good time...she refuses to consider anyting like it.   She has had brain surgery during her adult life with first husband and now she is on a weight watchers diet program..  I am wondering if the cut back in foods cold bring back biopolar dysfunction?  This is a trip.

    • Anonymous
      Hawna
      Nov. 03, 2010

      The drugs and alcohol have nothing to do with the disease. They are seperate. My mother has had bipolar mania all her life. Sometimes she drank alcohol here and there. But, the disease always was there. Medication is the only solution. Unfortunately, manic bipolars like the feeling of the mania they experience. My mother is very good about taking all her meds...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      The drugs and alcohol have nothing to do with the disease. They are seperate. My mother has had bipolar mania all her life. Sometimes she drank alcohol here and there. But, the disease always was there. Medication is the only solution. Unfortunately, manic bipolars like the feeling of the mania they experience. My mother is very good about taking all her meds now to keep her family together. This disease is becoming more obvious in our society now.

    • Anonymous
      snofalof
      Jul. 05, 2011

      Are you bipolar, sir? Because if you're not, you shouldn't try to help.

       

      I am, and I'm stable now. I struggled with substance abuse, but have no issue with it now (with no help from AA, thank you very much). AA and NA didn't help me because for me my MENTAL ILLNESS WAS IN FACT THE NUMBER ONE ISSUE. Maybe for some people its not. But for me and many other...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      Are you bipolar, sir? Because if you're not, you shouldn't try to help.

       

      I am, and I'm stable now. I struggled with substance abuse, but have no issue with it now (with no help from AA, thank you very much). AA and NA didn't help me because for me my MENTAL ILLNESS WAS IN FACT THE NUMBER ONE ISSUE. Maybe for some people its not. But for me and many other bipolar people I know, susbstance abuse is just our way of trying to medicate our illness that is going untreated or unsuccessfully treated. Once healthy, and having realized substance abuse will always make us unhealthy, we will stop using (unless maybe the person is a herion addict who is physically addicted). Of course everyone is different.

       

      If you don't get your daughter help to understand her illness and how she can prevent mood swings all on her own (supplemented by medication) then she will always go back to drugs and alcohol (unless she takes the program (aa) really seriously, in which case you will have a sober but insane daughter forever).

       

      Remember, hospitals do not educate your daughter. They slap a diagnoses on her and send her on her way. Psychiatrists also tend to be very useless other than precribing meds. A counselor as well should help.

      Maintain a healthy diet, exercise,

       

      I suggest the books Take Charge of Bipolar Disorder and Loving Someone With Bipolar Disorder.

    • ceebee
      Apr. 07, 2013

      I am also bipolar, I absolutely think the two, Bipolar and addiction have everything to do with each other! Here's why...

       

      I started experiencing bi-polar symptoms at a very young age (10 yrs old), I am 39 now. I have lived with this disease almost my entire life. So for me, The bi-polar came first, then as I got into teenager years I started "escaping"...

      RHMLucky777

      Read More

      I am also bipolar, I absolutely think the two, Bipolar and addiction have everything to do with each other! Here's why...

       

      I started experiencing bi-polar symptoms at a very young age (10 yrs old), I am 39 now. I have lived with this disease almost my entire life. So for me, The bi-polar came first, then as I got into teenager years I started "escaping" those symptoms with Alcohol and Drugs. Back then, bi-polar wasnt as "popular" as it is today and it was seldom anyone ever got a bipolar diagnosis. I was Diagonosed at the age of 20.

       

      I would take the meds for a while then stop, because I didnt feel I needed them (as a lot of bi-polar patients do), only to have a severe Manic or mostly depressive episode within a month of stopping the medications. So then the drugs and Alcohol would come into play again, and the viscous cycle began.

      So, for me, the bi-polar symptoms themselves led to my alcohol and drug use, then the Alcohol and drug use led to more Bi-polar episodes.

       

      I just recently have sought professional help again, I am back on my medication, I take Lithuim and Wellbutrin. But I have also taken Depakote (weight gain med), Tegratol, Lamicital, Celexa, Zoloft, and Im sure a few more in between. The lithuim and wellbutrin combo seem to be working well for me.  I am once again clean and sober (also without the help of NA or AA.), and my mood swings and depression have got extremely better. Yes I still have bad days, still get angry, and dont always express it the right way, but Im trying. I also have God in my life, I have to keep the faith. I don't believe hes carried me this far to drop me.

       

      I hope your daughter gets the help she needs, I can relate with everything you said on so many levels. Just always love her, remember it is a sickness with no cure, only treatment.

       

    • Anonymous
      Martin
      Apr. 23, 2012

      I  respectfully disagree on one issue Eric, though appreciate  where you are coming from.  My partner has a very unstabloe bipolar disorder and I have been with him for 10 years. I have nearly 25  years nursing experience so am not a lay person to this, and have also worked with community drug and alcohol teams  too and extensively in...

      RHMLucky777

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      I  respectfully disagree on one issue Eric, though appreciate  where you are coming from.  My partner has a very unstabloe bipolar disorder and I have been with him for 10 years. I have nearly 25  years nursing experience so am not a lay person to this, and have also worked with community drug and alcohol teams  too and extensively in rehab. He does not have drug addiction. his only interest in substance abuse  comes after he has already gone manic.  This is a very common pattern.

       

      This point is often misunderstood with Bipolar. It sounds the same in this lady's daughter's case. It is extremeley common for people with Bipolar to substance misuse, sometimes to manage their symptoms,  but research shows that more often than not, substances are used as yet another completely out of character behaviour which only crops up during the manic and hypomanic phases  for many people with Bipolar when their  judegement is lost about healthy decisions. There is of course, always the potential to develop a dual diagnosis with repeated use of drugs, or alcohol,  but more often than not it is sporadic use as part of a pattern of manic behaviour in the same way that  people  often drink more alcohol after going high, not beforehand  to make themselves high though some have done this when depressed .  Their boundaries and limits go out of the window in a manic episode.

       

       What this  young lady needs is treatment for her mania  initially, and hospital is the right place for her if she has reached a severe state of mania .  Sometime this can be managed in the community. Once stabilized  it will  be possible to have a rational discussion with her about her drug use and she may in fact have no interest in drugs. It will be clear if she is withdrawing as the symptoms are quite different and she will crave to use drugs. It sounds from the description as if she is the grips of a manic episode primarily. The drug use is secondary. Mania can take many months indeed  before it dissipates  or is fully settled  with or without adequate stabilization, and then is usually replaced by  moderate to severe depression following a manic episode . She will not be using drugs in hospital so if she has withdrawals it will be apparent but she may have not used in an addictive way just sporadically, and of course that will have aggravated and triggered manic symptoms further, but I would suspect the mania came first.  This is very typical.

       

       My partner goes manic first then starts to go up to London and all over the place and will not think twice about taking a drug then. However he behaves exactly like this when manic with no drug use whatsoever. The same chemical processes are going on in the bipolar brain chemistry as if they were  using stimulants ,just like Cocaine but without the presence of the drug in the body or brain.Dopamine is firing on all cylinders .  Taking Stimulants would be a double doseof dopamine triggers.  Personally, I feel  the behaviour described above described is typically manic and the primary problem which needs addressing first.  Bipolar is a very complicated illness  but there are good treatments available but it takes perseverance to find the right balance of medications in adequate dosages and combinations, usually more than one needed, and perseverance with the mental health teams to monitor and treat adequately.   The first steps have been taken which is a positive start in this lady's daughter's recovery. I wish them well.  

    • JennMondello
      Apr. 25, 2012

      While I agree that bipolar symptoms could just caused from drug addictions, I speak from my own personal experience as a perviously undiagnosed bipolar drug addict.

       

      For decades, my loved-ones and myself took the route of treating the addiction first, and that my moods and lifestyle would just naturally follow into a normal state.  This was the WORST...

      RHMLucky777

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      While I agree that bipolar symptoms could just caused from drug addictions, I speak from my own personal experience as a perviously undiagnosed bipolar drug addict.

       

      For decades, my loved-ones and myself took the route of treating the addiction first, and that my moods and lifestyle would just naturally follow into a normal state.  This was the WORST mistake, as taking away my weed would throw me into mania, and keeping me from powder caused me to literally fly around the country looking for something I would never find.

       

      Enter my 6th and final psyche clinic that approached things differently.  After only 2 sessions, I was diagnosed BP-1 and prescribed lithium, and without any "addiction treatment", I now have NO cravings for other substances.

       

      Maybe if we stop blaming street drugs and treat them more as a symptom for a psychiatric issue, "drug addicts" wouldn't be so difficult to "reform".

       

    • Anonymous
      IGOTIT
      May. 03, 2012

      i have bipolar. the symtoms of mania are themselves an addiction even if you dont have drug addiction at all. they can make it so hard to want to be stable that a person with bipolar becomes medication resistant. unfortunely over diagnosis disables people and those addicts that can get well and wont suffer mood swings after not living in the ilness of addiction...

      RHMLucky777

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      i have bipolar. the symtoms of mania are themselves an addiction even if you dont have drug addiction at all. they can make it so hard to want to be stable that a person with bipolar becomes medication resistant. unfortunely over diagnosis disables people and those addicts that can get well and wont suffer mood swings after not living in the ilness of addiction the doctors give them a mentally freeing and clean slate of "misdiagnosed" instead of acknowledgin bipolar can be treated even after acute episodes even with people disabled by it and they can live healthy happy satisying lives. unfortunately i cant be told i am misdiagnosed or i lose the donctor i cant afford and the nurse he supervises when the best work i can do is cleaning as a real maid not a fantasy one, and i am reduced to rely on my art skills for achievement that i am predisposed to need when if i could have health care that covers my psychiatric care I WOULD HAVE A CHANCE TO GET OFF DISABILITY AND LIVE STABLE UNADDICTED TO MY BODY ChEMISTRY ANYMORE, BUT GIVE ME A JOB AND NO MEDICAL SUPERVISION I CAN AFFORD EVEN IF I FAIL AND I HAVE NO WAY TO LIVE THE LIFE I CAN SICK OR NOT AND HAVE THE DREAMS THAT ARE WORTH HAVING. SO I DREAM INSTEAD OF WHAT YOU ALL CALL WRONG THINKING ITS ALL I GOT TO KEEP ME FROM LOSING THE MIND I STILL GOT IN A LIFE SO MUNDANE I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK ABOUT IT UNLESS THEY ARE LIVING UNDER THE POVERTY LEVEL LIKE ME AND HAVE GOOD SELF ESTEEM.  Pshychiatry is a baby science younger than astophsics and ever one say they have the answer and Know nothing!!! call that hypo mania i'm not afraid of it you are, get some real faith get jesus christ then knock at my door about helpin me. with faith and real counsel not a stupid woman i saw twice and said to me a woman who got raped do this or you cant have counseling from me told me i was unsafe when i was not!!!! tell it to the rain. i'm just human with a oxymoron for a diagnosis and its harmless til someone makes it more or less than it is GROW UP!!! ha

    • Rhonda
      Jun. 11, 2012

      IGOTIT,

       

      Wow, you sound so much like my daughter. I would like to believe that you do have people you can talk to but maybe you dont realize it.  Or more likely you dont want to talk to the people who most want to understand you.

       

      I dont understand my daughter and therefore she does not want to talk to me, no matter how many books I read or...

      RHMLucky777

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      IGOTIT,

       

      Wow, you sound so much like my daughter. I would like to believe that you do have people you can talk to but maybe you dont realize it.  Or more likely you dont want to talk to the people who most want to understand you.

       

      I dont understand my daughter and therefore she does not want to talk to me, no matter how many books I read or how many "doctors" I talk to I simply will never understand her because I do not think nor am I capable of thinkling like her.  

       

      Maybe you could help us.  What would make a difference to you?  If a caring member of your family listened, what could they say that would change anything, that would make even the smallest difference?  

       

      What do you say to your daughter?  I wish some one out here had answered your question.  I can't because I am in the same situation and after almost 6 years of saying the wrong things (things that did nothing to help my daughter make any choices that would influence her life positively).  Saying "I love you", "I am here for you when you are ready to accept life changing help", "you always have a home",...etc.... do no good for someone who does not want to change their life or accept the kind of help you want to give.

       

      I tend to see that these children (even if they are adults they are our children) are sick but unwilling to accept the help they need.  Is that different than choosing not to accept chemo if you have cancer?  If it isn't then we have to say that these we love are not capable of making decisions for themselves.  At that point the only option is to have them diagnosed as clinically "insane".  Well, good luck with that.  My daughter is as sane as she needs to be when the occasion arises.

       

      Well, after saying that, right or wrong, I have chosen to let her live her life. She may die tonight but it is her choices that will make that happen.  She knows 100% that she is loved whether she wants to be or not.  She knows that her family will help her on our conditions not hers if she really wants help.  She knows that she is bipolar and is almost incapable of living a productive life without medication and medical supervision.  She is currently a stripper and posts pictures for the world to see of her job her drinking and her drugs.  She is one arrest away from going to prision for many years. None of that matters to her, she simply chooses to live her life each day exactly as she pleases with no regard to her family.  

       

      I feel sorry for her and for you and for all of the people who are dealing with someone like this.  All I can say is, get on with your life - if thine eye offend thee.. pluck it out!

       

    • ettolahc
      Jun. 14, 2012

      I don't really have an answer. As I type, my boyfriend is the in the hospital after a "manic" episode last night, and I have never dealt with hospitals before, though I have been around him being manic.

       

      But, I want to offer one perspective noone else seems to be bringing in. That is, what is the perspective and feelings of the person who's bipolar or...

      RHMLucky777

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      I don't really have an answer. As I type, my boyfriend is the in the hospital after a "manic" episode last night, and I have never dealt with hospitals before, though I have been around him being manic.

       

      But, I want to offer one perspective noone else seems to be bringing in. That is, what is the perspective and feelings of the person who's bipolar or hospitalized or forced to be on drugs. It seems mania is an alluring and often desireable state. This, I think, is honestly understandable. What does your daughter want out of her life? Does she want a stable life on society's terms? I think for some people, stability is more oppressive and unmanageable than the drugs. But, then there's the resprecussion: society will come in at some point and cart the person away for being weird/out-of-control or even harmful. It's a dilemna. But, I'm thinking lately that a lot of this misunderstaning can be healed by developing a sincere respect for my boyfriend/your daughter/etc, etc. Remember, the goal is happiness, right? What does she want to be happy? Ask, at least. Yeah... she might be wrong sometimes.... e.g. a manic person needs to SLEEP even when they don't want to, an drugs might be needed.

       

      So, all that musing. But, like I said, respect. Maybe not an ultimatum about her making life changes? Maybe ask what changes she thinks are necessary and wants, at least when she's more lucid. The hospital is there doing it's thing, whether you are backing it up or not. It doesn't seem like she's going to really value your view on that no matter how much you say it, so maybe just be "on her side" (because of course you ARE... you're her mother :-) )

       

      Like I said, I don't know. I am new to this, and yes it is %$^%&$^@ difficult to deal with someone who is manic and will not back down. Or at least has been for me. But I just wanted to bring up this alternative way of looking at the situation. Also, do we need the term "illness" or "disease" ...? Even without those words you can still talk about practical problems that arise for someone becuase of their moods (we all have some problems). Even without those words, you can talk about ways to make things better, happier, healthier for the individual and their family.

       

      An interesting read from the viewpoint of bipolar authors: http://theicarusproject.net/files/navigating_the_space.pdf

      they generally think hospitals are miserable, but acknowledge that they do some good too. not saying you need to buy all the stuff, and the non-mainstream politics. but it is a good, non-demeaning, non-pathologizing window into 2 individuals' experiences with being bipolar.

    • sadmom
      Feb. 06, 2013

      thank you... we are dealing with a similar scenario for the last few years.  my 20 yr old daughter is either the devil or the angel rotating ona two wee basis.   Our home and welfare is threatened by her risk taking.. she has stopped drugs for the time being...now she shopliftsa!...we are bludgeoned with verbal abuse when confronting her...i am going...

      RHMLucky777

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      thank you... we are dealing with a similar scenario for the last few years.  my 20 yr old daughter is either the devil or the angel rotating ona two wee basis.   Our home and welfare is threatened by her risk taking.. she has stopped drugs for the time being...now she shopliftsa!...we are bludgeoned with verbal abuse when confronting her...i am going numb as a mom....it feels like it is going to be my life or hers....

    • truthseeker
      May. 17, 2013

      It is pheominal that it gets to this point. My vivacious 23 year old daughter has all but died and and I am left with this broken person who abuses me and my home. I have been grieving her for years now, all the while she is still living with me in my home. She is the elephant in the room and she is snarling. I am in therapy myself because I am a battered spouse,...

      RHMLucky777

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      It is pheominal that it gets to this point. My vivacious 23 year old daughter has all but died and and I am left with this broken person who abuses me and my home. I have been grieving her for years now, all the while she is still living with me in my home. She is the elephant in the room and she is snarling. I am in therapy myself because I am a battered spouse, (Mother) I have forgotten how to live with the constant threat of war. I have enabled her to be this evil person and don't have the where with all to change my situation on my own. She has stolen everything that has value and left the empty packages in plain sight to add to the devistation. She actually waits for me to leave to live outside of her room, leaving every room in a complete mess with out regard. I am at my wits end... I want to ask her to leave but now she is in trouble with the law again and is charged with 2 felonies. I wouldn't have bailed her out but my nephew did and he is on the hook for 2500.00 in bond. I don't know which way to jump if I kicked her out she would be on the street and she doesn't have any life skills. I would like to think she is smart but don't really believe that at this point since she has never really had a job or even attended college. I want someone to tell me thaat kicking oyut their loved one was the one good thing they did for them. I am not a real belierver in tough love and am a follower of Christ knowing He can cause ALL things to work together for good, but she has to want help!