I really don't know how else to get these feelings out it seems but to turn to my support group on here.
Don't know if it is the nature of the beast i hold within or what is going on but I have so noticed lately a pulling away of others,
those that were so suppose to love me unconditionally, and those that one would think would WANT to be there for you. AND I have done nothing at all to deserve this no outburst on them, no interference in THEIR lives persay at all....have taken meds and been rather leveled off when around them BUT>>>>
I had a horrid experience of one very close to me (not my precious husband who is beyond a supporter and great understander of my illness for he actually takes the time to learn about my disorders)
...but the experience, well, had one tell me that "Docs just diagnose bp to nearly everyone and that is only to get the commission off the medications" and "EVERYONE can control their mind if they just WANT to" and "I don't need this mental illness sh** around me for I don't have a problem and I don't want one" !!!!!! ARGH!!!! 
Gosh don't people get that this is not not not a CONTAGIOUS disorder, or condition?
i mean i really had not had an outburst or a mania spell around this person and this person is someone that is in my own family....a person i am suppose to be able to talk to, to lean on when need, a very dominate part of my family
....and yet, they judge, they stigmatize, for one of their friends was also diagnosed with bp last week and she really needed to be with pdoc yrs earlier but feared it just as i screwed up and did in the beginning and waited uhm a little toooooo long to go but now she's there and getting the help she needs thank goodness
....and well that sent the falsities flying....it was like they really believed that doctors just diagnose an illness as serious as bp to someone to make a profit and then complain because someone who was suppose to be their best friend (the girl diagnosed recently) is calling them
.....and this person of which i speak being judgemenal....well, now she won't even answer the phone when this precious person calls when before she was running with her and going places and behaving like a true friend......just as they behaved like a true family member for me...UNTIL>>>.
now, it is like she is afraid that i will go off or do something to embarress her or that she is ashamed of me
....you know the old saying of someone loving you intensly but not LIKING you....well, guess that is the scenario of which i am trying to get across...
concentration and focus a little off today, and guess i should have started with that....
but geez.....how in the world are we as bps supposed to get across to others that are in our "circle" of family that we aren't monsters, we aren't weirdos, we aren't nuts, and we certainly didn't WANT to be diagnosed with such a disorder that they can't even decide WHAT causes the darn thing...
