Plans made and hopes dashed/ every time I make positive plans somethig comes up

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Thu, January 03, 2008

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I had made some positive palns for the new year:

I had looked at Community education class to take this month
I checked into Volenteering
I checked into a singles group
I signed up for Meetup

I dont have the money for the class and that does not even include the gas to and from there. I am very much disapointed that I cant do this the class is not until 1/24/2008 I do not get a check until theb 3rd of Feb. I dont see how I can pay 49.00 and have 200.00 to live on for the whole month. This was suppossed to be something I had to look forward to and Now I dont even know what to do.

I did sign up for the Gainsville Singles Group on Yahoo.com

I also got information on other groups like a dance that meets once a week.

But more than anything else I wanted to do the course They only meet once a month I think but it would give me something to look foward to a nd somewhere for me to meet other people.

Right now AA is the only place I have to meet people face to face. and I havent done so well with that. I have not been going that much Because to tell the truth I dont like groups I have been around AA almost 20 years and I only have 2 years I really didnt have any problems making friends before I had my Brain Injury from the surgey. Why does it always have to be groups I do bettewr one on one talking to someone without a lot of noise and distractions. I dont know what has changed but maybe I have just got tried of the choices.The VA group I am in is very good but I dont really want to go there more than once a week. My case manager asked me if I was going last week and I didnt go I dant want to go tomorrow. They go on a walk and then gon to a noon meeting and then eat at 1 pm. I havent been eating much some times only once a day, or not at all either im to upset like today or I just dont care I thought I was moving in a positive direction but now I feel like Im slipping back ointo depression that I dont have anything to look forward to and I dont care anything about doing a park walk thing or hanging around with a bunch of guys from the group I dont want to feel like I am forced to do what I dont have any interst in I will go on tuesday the regular group day but thats it. Tammie yold me about the yoga class and I hjave no interst in doing Yoga with chronic pain and Osteoarthritis in my hip and back same for the hikes. I will find something on my own or I will just sit home I dont care right now I am doing everything I can to check out other things to do and I am trying to make these work but I dont know how? Iam trying to meet women and I dont even get far when I ask them for thier number sometimes I give them mine online I try but so far no good!

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Stardust

1/ 4/08 1:42am

Can you call the school and see if you can audit the class? That doesn't cost anything. Or see if they have a program for people on disability that would be for free. If you audit the class, you won't get credit for it if you are working towards a degree.

Eric

1/ 4/08 4:26am

You really need to come up with some attainable goals that are realistic in nature. Not having the monies for the class tells me that you didn’t do the research necessary to complete the task. I can set a goal of becoming the richest man in the world in three weeks…the next thing is to complete it.

The use of the word “every time” is untrue and it may feel that way to you today. Crawl, walk and Run…you are trying to run from the get go and falling on your face. I’m not saying that the new years goals are unobtainable… it’s just unrealistic at this point.

Try a goal like I am going to set X number of dollars aside each week so that when the next session starts, I will have the monies to afford it and not have to take it out of my check all at once. Take a little extra out for contingency plans that may arise like supplies, books and gas.

With reading your post I also see you have an excuse for everything. I don’t mean to say it to cause hurt…more to point out that you are your own worse enemy. You’re the one holding yourself back. Why not try letting thing just happen instead of trying to find a girlfriend, get married and live happily every after in two weeks….stop with setting those goals.

The right person will come along, but to be totally honest…most woman are not looking for someone to fix or save. You are presenting yourself as a helpless, hopeless in need type person that is unattractive.

People are looking for others that enjoy the same things, have a good outlook, funny, kind hearted and not mad at the world. Right now you really need to work on getting yourself well again with the right attitude. Frank…you are a really good person but you need to stop the whining and making excuses, it’s a turn off.

Reread your posts and tell me if that was a woman posting…is this someone you would want to hook up with and give your phone number too?

Frank Duffey

1/ 4/08 9:32am

In agree with most of what you said except that The reason I cant take the class was not due to poor planing but rather tha auto insurance company misposted a payment and I had to make 2 payments of 215.00 Instead of 109 which is what the normal payment is. So as you see yoiu were jumping to conclusions without knowing the facts and I would like you to not reply on my Post from now on yiou can take yoiur advice and shove it buddy Im not helpless far from it I survied on the streets for one year and I almost killed a guy that jumped me. So helpless I dont think so I am going to a therpist at the VA to find out Why i vcant get [past that Or did you forget that I had abrain Injury and Thats why i am on Disability I have a degree in Electrical Engineering and ran My own business with a partner Something I cant do because I had a Pitituray tumor that I had to get removed, and there where comlications. So Mind your own ******* business from now on, In other words I dont want any of your jump the gun Im so got it together advice!!@

Eric

1/ 4/08 4:48pm

It’s about time you showed some fighting spirit. For a person with a brain injury and can’t do much…you also showed that you can express and get your point across when you want too. Sometimes we have to get really mad to get going and stop feeling sorry for ourselves.

I guess what I was trying to get you to finally see is that you have a lot to offer and life is too short to go curl up and die in a corner. I’m just glad you are back ready to kick ***…keep it going frank, you deserve better and most times to get it, you have to be willing to fight for it.

Remember back when you were in the service? How hard it was at times but the great sense of accomplishment when completed? Well…that’s with anything in life that’s worth having. If staying ****** at me keeps you going in a positive direction…knock your socks off.

You don’t need to respond and I will do as you have asked about any future post.

Judy

1/ 4/08 5:55am

Hello Frank...Your have planned some wonderful goals - it must be very frustrating to be in a frame where you cannot realize them. Been there.

Give yourself some time - you will get back of track. I would concentrate of doing some volunteer work (very rewarding) and perhaps getting into a bipolar support group. These people are very non-judgmental and it might help you with your issues concerning you uncomfortableness with groups of people. Also been there.

Education is so important. Hope you can find a way to get into the classes. You have been given some sound advice from others.......Judy

Frank Duffey

1/ 4/08 9:52am

Thank you very much Judy for your non judgemental comments unlike Eric who I basically told him to shove it. I am Going to a brain Injury Support group @ shands rehab hospital They also have a NAMI group that meets there I went and It was all men and they were all married some brought their wives and the discussion was about Family and How they live with someone who is bi polar. It did not concern me I dont have a girlfriend and I just got rid of a wife that was a 14 year bad marriage and I was abused, mentally, Physicaly, Emotionally, Sexually, I am still trying to get over the violence of the last 6 years with her, The VA is going to send me to a therapist so I can work on these issues and then maybe I would be dating material I have women that want to date me right now that I have met On MY Space Its just me that I dont know if Im ready and I'm embarrassed about some things concerning the brain Injury.

Hopeful mom

1/ 4/08 7:11pm

Just be careful of people you meet on the internet. I am quite paranoid about these people as some of them could be quite dangerous.

Take care of yourself and keep making plans.

Whatever you do, don't give up.

Frank Duffey

1/ 6/08 3:46am

yes judy I will and thank you for your concern. I will be carefulas to who I talk to from now on That is one of My weakness is tlking mmore tahn i should to pople i dont know My roommate alreadynran off one women I met online she is very protective of me son thats good because I donotb always make the right decissionds sbout women, I am talking to one now tonight and she is very nice and she know my roomate also Thank you and God Bless

Plans made and hopes dashed/ every time I make positive plans somethig comes up

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