I have been really depressed and I have been isolating lately I know I should not and I had almost given up hope when I had a chance to see someone When I got my 2 year medallion I was looking at one of the ladies there and I was trying to remember who she was she looked like Cindy and I kept trying to remember so later I saw her on one of my friends sites and I added her to my friends in My space then we started talking to her we have been taking all week and she told me she will be at the meeting tomorrow night so I want to go to that one. Tomorrow is Group day at the VA so I will go to group then i will go by the Grocery store for a few things I dont have much money this month but I want to get a roast to cook in the crock pot so I will have left overs and sandwiches to eat I think I have only about 180.00 left for the whole month so I dont know if I should even go to the store I filled the car up today Monday the 7th of Jan. Sometimes I have a hard time making decisions on that to spend money on like groceries I have chicken wings, 3 pork chops, and one steak, My roommate went and sot soup for her self and she is cooking a roast for the lady she does CNA work for I dont know  if she is just getting her own food or what before I went and brought the food and she just payed me some money back, it is confusing to me now and I dont know what to get I signed up for a health program through a nurse at the MISA program Solutions for wellness and they gave me a shopping list but I dont think I can afford all the items on there right now so maybe I will just get some soup and the roast at Winn Dixie or just the soup & sandwich stuff I have not been eating right and I know that's not good for my stamina Melissa was cooking but neither one of us wants to cook right now I made beef ribs last week and she said they were really good I can cook but I dont know how we are doing the food now I guess I dont care  I just need to start cooking I am not eating but one meal a day and not eating breakfast at all or lunch sometimes only a sandwich for diner. I need to start taking better care of myself I went to the http://www.solutionsforwellness.com website and up dated my menu choices , my exercise plan and my fitness update. It is a free program from Lilly and you just sign up and they mail you information and a pin number to go on line and do the surveys they also give you a nice book that is divided into sections and is very helpful. The main reason I have not started my exercise program is due to my osteoarthritis in my hip and my back it has been very painful and I moved a dresser over yesterday to move my TV in my room I picked up the TV and moved it into the room I moved the dresser by pushing it with my back I should have asked for my roommates help she did help me set it on top of the dresser and hook up the cable. When I woke up this morning I could not get up I had to lay on the heating pad for 30 minutes before I could get up. Then this afternoon I was tired and I tripped over a power cord for the notebook I had it sitting on the dining room table and the cord was plugged in to the wall behind me. and then My roommate Melissa said you need to go lay down before you fall again. I had only taking 2 of my medications for pain so I was just tired I think but I laid down and slept most of the afternoon I was in a lot of pain now I am still up now and I have taken my pain meds as needed every 6 hours and I am still in a lot of pain and it is 2:36 am on Tuesday morning and I have to try to sleep I have group tomorrow about an hour and a half, then I will go home or by the store. I am really happy about meeting Cindy and I hope thing work out I am still messaging other women on  line just as friends I have never meet the other lady she lives in Ocala which is about 30m min. away from here. Just to be nice. I just have not been in any kind of relationship except me and my best friend as very close friends. I hope I dont get hurt But I have to try or I will never be happy again. And I know when it was time like some of you have said I would meet someone but I did have to take some action and send her my phone number. I didn't think anyone was interested but I was wrong and It was mostly in my head. I just had to met someone who understood me and what I was going through, she knows a lot about healthy eating and other things and she is a smart lady, and if I didn't say before she is very beautiful too so this is a positive update from me.