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I do not believe that I am bi-polar, I just have major depression

By rlmarch Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Two and a half years ago I had a triple heart bi-pass.  I came through this fine and went back to work.  About four months after that I came down with major depression and was hospitalized  several times over the past two years.  I also lost my job because I could not function at all.  The doctors put me on every med in the book and I might be a little better, but I still have my bad days.  My doctor changed my med about a month ago and I felt worse for a while, today I am up and feel pretty good.  But I am not going to hold my breath about tomorrow, I have to just take one day at a time.  After going into the hospital, I started losing weight, I lost 60 lbs in six months and was eating like a horse all the while. I have been eating like a horse for the past year and a half and have not gained any weight at all. Everybody tells me I need to gain weight. My doctor is concerned about my weight, he ran some thyroid tests and every thing looks OK.  I read some where there is something called hidden hyperthroidism, whatever that means.  There is something wrong somewhere in my glands, but it won't show itself.  I have never had mood swings, just dark depression, and everything that I do requires an iron will

and I have the shakes most of the time, a lot of anxiety, and irritability.  If anyone has any idea of what is going on with me, I would like to hear from them.  I have applied at a lot of places to go to work, but they look at me and they can tell I don't look well.  So the long days continue.  I feel better if I am up and doing something so I try to keep myself busy. Thanks and have a great day.  rlmarch

Anonymous
tabby
10/31/07 10:03pm

a lot of folks, after having a heart procedure that major, do commonaly experience depression.  it wouldn't hurt to speak with your cardiologist or if you are undergoing cardiac rehab - your rehab provider.  my father suffered a bad bout after his quadruple bypass.

 

after my bad car wreck last March - it was about a month later - I had a really bad deep depression.  the docs at the hospital said it was due perhaps to being on heavy duty meds during my 3 week hospital stay and the fact i was in a lot of chronic nerve pain.  that because of all that - it exacerbated and intensified my bipolar (bipolar before wreck).

 

there is a possibility it could be caused by a medical illness or dysfunction.  a lot of medical illnesses have symptoms related to mental illness or cause relatable mental illness.  still, docs treat the symptoms with psychiatric medications and they encourage therapy for the trauma of surgery or illness.

 

whether you have bipolar or major depression is for a professional to look at and I'm no professional.  whether you are or not - therapy isn't a bad thing and the symptoms are treated with psychiatric medications.  it is good that your doc is trying to find an underlying cause and I'd encourage you to keep working with him/her.

 

I wish you luck Big Smile

11/ 3/07 8:40pm
Dear tabby, thanks for responding to my gripe.  The single most thing that happened about two and half years ago that slamed me into deep dark depression was that while I was in the hospital, my wife of 20 yrs. left me and took everything.  She just abandoned me, and I had some physical problems after coming home.  So the neighbors took me to the hospital to have this looked after. She said the heart operation upset her so much that she could not deal with the thought of me dying.  We have been divorced over a year now.  We have seen each other many times, and now I think she regrets the decision she made.  She wants to date me but not live together. What kind of relationship would that be?  Sorry but that does not work for me.  We lost our home, and our vehicles, and what I thought was a wonderful marriage.  I loved her very deeply, and I don't think that I will ever get over it.  I have no desire to date anyone.  I have spent the last two years researching meds and having talk sessions. I feel really up today.  I spent the day outside and am really starting to feel like my old self.  The better days are more than the bad ones.  Thanks for your support. rlmarch
11/ 2/07 10:32am

  The fact that you wrote something on this website actually signifies a lot. It could be that your meds are working or you're just doing better.

 Can you sleep ? Are you sleeping on a regular daily schedule?

 If not, and you are simultaneously  depressed, you probably are BP. 

11/ 3/07 8:59pm
Dear thenry, yes i really think that I am doing better.  I think the good days are ahead of the bad days.  I have found that keeping busy is the secret.  Some days I don't have any motivation, so I call my sister and she gets on my case.  That gets me going.  She has been a Godsend.  She has been with me through this whole thing.  She really doesn't really understand but she is very helpful.  Her comment is that I should just shake this thing off and get back to living and get a life.  We all know it doesn't work that way.  And I try to tell what it is like.  To answer your question about sleep, I take mellotonin. which the body makes anyway, and just to make sure I don't spend the whole night awake, it really works very well.  In the beginning I had a lot of those sleepless nights, and they are not much fun.  I have not gotten my nerves up to trying to go to sleep without them, but I think I am getting there.  Thanks for your comments.
11/ 5/07 10:37am

  Sounds like you're on your way to success if you get your med cocktail somewhat close. The reason I say this is because you're not in deal for one. Second you're very aware of the general public's (sister's) view and demands for obtaining the expected behavior. You're are also aware that they have a difficult time really understanding this thing.

  Perhaps it would help for your sister to visit this website?

 Thank you for sharing your sister's views on this because sometimes I think that way. I start think that really is that easy. She needs to know that its roots are biological and she could have been born with it as opposed to you.

 Do any relatives of yours have BP? 

 

 

11/ 5/07 10:44am

 Correction-

 I meant that you're not in denial for one.

11/ 6/07 8:05pm
My Mom was very seriously mentally ill, much more than BP, she has past on.  My oldest daughter has had quite a few problems with it, and my younger daughter and my son are fighting depression right now. As far as I know I am the only one of the four siblings that has been effected by it.
11/ 7/07 12:08pm

 I thought that my situation was bad. I don't what to say other than "it can only get better".

  Do you feel better physically after the by-pass surgery?

 Any restenosis?  

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By rlmarch— Last Modified: 09/28/10, First Published: 10/31/07