On the Impossibility of the Moral

it is not easy to learn, but eventually you will, that happiness does not come from the outside, it comes from the inside.  Everyone else knows where they want you to end up, but they cannot force you there, they cannot drag you there, but they CAN HAVE FAITH that you will get there, on your own time, in your own way.  And you can have that same faith in yourself. What you have to decide is whether these people really want you to end up where you want to end up.  If not, jettison them, or at least learn to detach.  Where you find a caretaker, often you also find an ego at work.

Desperate people do desperate things.  And public policy that works against far too many people with all sorts of disabilities obtaining wellness is making a whole lot of people desperate.  

Pills are cheap, they are easy.  But it's not clear to me that they alone work.  Americans so want the 'quick and dirty' way to solve problems.  Have you considered counseling in concert with medication?  or support groups?  or simply learning to find humor, gratitude, the power of friendships, the power of helping others?  It takes a lot more effort, but the rewards are far greater to those to try these things i think.

It's not just the destination.  It's the journey that matters in the end.

I am bi-polar and can relate to having distant memories about certain things, emotions or people. My family members have deserted me. I am often at ease when I am alone, and I try to look at my illness as an assett not a problem. I am like a lot of bi-polar people very, very, creative. I am a writer, a painter, a poet  as well as an actor. One thing you have to remember about manic depression is that it is a chronic illness. Drugs can only mask the symptoms and there is no miracle drug for this illness. You must get to a comfortable stage with your medications and then accept it. Looking at future goals or aspirations one or two months ahead will help you. Don't be a follower,..be a leader. Bi-polar people are often arrogant, talkative, creative, good teachers, confident with a bit of an ego, loving, and spiritual with an insight into things the normal person doesn't possess. I'm glad to be bi-polar. You have to be. If not, this disease will take you down and down and down. Don't let anyone tell you this can be cured. It is a chronic disease that only gets worse with time. Chances are, you will not live past 65. You will either end up in a sanitarium or committ suicide. Don't be over-medicated. Learn to live with it as best you can with as little meds as you can. I take Clonazepam for the anxiety, seroquel and lunesta to slow down my thinking enough to get a good six hours of sleep. I try not to take anything but Clonazepam in the morning and live my days on a manic high,..rather than a depressing low. Accept it for what it is and live by it and with it. I like being bi-polar and screw anyone who doesn't like me for who I am. I am larger than most people and I like it and I will tell you I do

Learn to love it,

Evan Hayenga.