I am in my second year of recovery. Bipolar disorder has been a scary, torturous and beautiful experience that has made me more compassionate, humble and willing to be part of a supportive community. I now mourn the "healthy self" more and am amazed at how profoundly total & chronic this disorder is, but I a heartened by the ways in whic other people have found ways to weave this disorder into a hopeful and triumphant greater life story...I am happy that people are living, sharing information, and defying death.