Does it even help to cry anymore, does it help when we act strong and cry all alone, why do we get so hurt, it doesnt help at all that they never really see or hear us. Is it fair that one day they love you and then next day they take it all back and you cant even understand how it happened and why. ...
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Untitled Comment
Kad
Wednesday, October 07, 2009 at 06:43 PM
Wow, I do feel for you though. I put my husband through this many many times, one period of time for about 1-2 years shortly before my diagnosis it was the worst (even on meds, they just gave anidepressants alone which don't work for most bipolar conditions). He would try and 'protect' me as well in many ways which only made me angrier. I can tell you only from my point of view that I did not relish in his misery, I felt miserable too. I lived in a fantacy that made absolutely no sence, an irrational world. If he did something I felt infringed on my freedom I screamed, verbally abused, shut him out. All but ran away for good. And I considered that many times. We have 3 children, it is amazing we are still together, when I finally was diagnosed and properly medicated we would go out for a date and I would cry thinking about what all he had put up with. I am very gratefull for him. But it has taken its toll as well, I think he has a harder time with stress because it was sooooo climactic (is that a word?) he has a shorter fuse than he used to and I am much more peaceful. But the balance is so much more normal.
This is something you will have to decide if you can make it through, if she can get to counseling with you, if you can handle the hard times unil she is healthy. Do you know and love the person she is when she is well? If so maybe it is very worth it. Maybe it would be good to let go of trying to protect her and let her fall if she needs to. I will bet she is not trying to make you miserable on perpose, even hurt you on perpose. I will bet she only knows how to express herself this way when she is sick and angry, she is afraid in her soul that you can't hear what she is saying unless she is very, very, loud. It takes a practical genius to communicate effectively with a sick bipolar person, but you can do it, you'll need lots of breaks that's all. Support too!
re: Untitled Comment
Kad
Wednesday, October 07, 2009 at 06:51 PM
Errr, sorry didn't read the part where you don't want her back
, yea, well still, basically I mean don't take it personally obviously if she keeps coming back. But if it's too hard for you then it would be time to move or change phone, or get a personal therapist for sure.
Sorry!
Wow, I do feel for you though. I put my husband through this many many times, one period of time for about 1-2 years shortly before my diagnosis it was the worst (even on meds, they just gave anidepressants alone which don't work for most bipolar conditions). He would try and 'protect' me as well in many ways which only made me angrier. I can tell you only from my point of view that I did not relish in his misery, I felt miserable too. I lived in a fantacy that made absolutely no sence, an irrational world. If he did something I felt infringed on my freedom I screamed, verbally abused, shut him out. All but ran away for good. And I considered that many times. We have 3 children, it is amazing we are still together, when I finally was diagnosed and properly medicated we would go out for a date and I would cry thinking about what all he had put up with. I am very gratefull for him. But it has taken its toll as well, I think he has a harder time with stress because it was sooooo climactic (is that a word?) he has a shorter fuse than he used to and I am much more peaceful. But the balance is so much more normal.
This is something you will have to decide if you can make it through, if she can get to counseling with you, if you can handle the hard times unil she is healthy. Do you know and love the person she is when she is well? If so maybe it is very worth it. Maybe it would be good to let go of trying to protect her and let her fall if she needs to. I will bet she is not trying to make you miserable on perpose, even hurt you on perpose. I will bet she only knows how to express herself this way when she is sick and angry, she is afraid in her soul that you can't hear what she is saying unless she is very, very, loud. It takes a practical genius to communicate effectively with a sick bipolar person, but you can do it, you'll need lots of breaks that's all. Support too!