Rough patch.....

Hang in there.  Hopefully your new psychiatrist will be of more help than your previous ones.  I was diagnoised this year with BPII and it took me about six months to find a therapist and psychiatrist that I trusted and thought were a good fit.  I have my good days (which seem to be few) and my bad days (which are many).  I have started Lithium and Soroquel, plus antidepresents, etc., plus meds for other health problems.  Today is a good day for me and I known things will get better for you.  Just try to hang on to good thoughts and feelings. I know it can be hard to do, but do try.  We all care. 

I too am going through the same issues that you are at this time.  I was diagnosed with bi-polar 2 years ago and have had a hard time with life.  My marriage, my family, friends, work....you know the drill.  I do have to say, however my doctor at first was rough.  I hated him!  He was pushy and to the point.  Not the loveable, likeable type.  However, after leaving him for a year, stopping all of my meds and going full Manic I went into his office and he listened to me.  I told him the weight gain was something that I could not handle!!  This is the only reason why I stop my meds each time.  When you have a low self-esteem and weigh yourself in the morning to see that you gained another pound or two, it doesn't make you feel all cozy inside. 

I'm trying out some new meds now, we'll see how they work, I'm not too confident that I will be able to but keep your chin up girl!!!  I understand your desire to find someone new, find new meds and finally be at a good point....I'm working on the same thing.  I have had to learn to stand up for myself in this.  My husband says he doesn't care about the weight gain, sees the meds working, etc. though I see if, I feel it and thats what makes it not work!  So go out there and find something...keep me posted on your progress.  This whole experience is new to me though I'm looking for people to relate to.  Not very many people are open about being bi-polar which just makes this more difficult to deal with.