scared of inevitable crash

im still pretty new to the realization of the bipolar. and right now i am in the hypomania. i dont mind it so much at all. ill take it anyday over the depression. the last depression i was just in was VERY difficult to make it alive on the other side through. in my readings about this...the depression will be upon me soon. or eventually. i dont know if i can take it. i am actually terrified of being there again. ive never felt this way about it before. i will not take meds anymore, and i fear talking to anyone (prof)because i do not want hospitalization at all. i have no friends and essentially no real family to talk to either. i am lost. my only recourse is the help from people on sites such as this which is a great help, but im scared of what is about to come and i feel like im spinning faster and faster