Doctor told me I am on my last medication...

By Drew1k Tuesday, December 16, 2008

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I just got back from my doctor after another collaspe in my medication. This time it was Wellbutrin (which I have been on twice before) and Depakote. I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder while in a mental ward after a suicide attempt. I was being treated with antidepressants for depression for a couple years and they believed it caused a manic episode. Since then I have tried every medication under the sun and combinations:Depakote, Paxil, Prozac, Lamictal, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Seraquil, Lexapro, Celexa, Zoloft. Most work for 2-6 months and then completely stop and typically start to make everything much much worse (worse being Celexa, one that caused my to try to kill myself). My doctor, who I think is fed up with me, said to try Cymbalta alone and after that I should consider maybe not taking medication. I just don't know what to do. Being Bipolar has hindered my life keeping me from achieving my full potential. For every step forward it seems like I am taking two steps back. I get this overwhelming feeling like this is it. This is my last chance to have a normal life and to feel normal. If this doesn't work then be prepared for a life of unaccomplishment and instablity. Frankly I don't know if thats a life I want to live. I haven't be able to finish semesters in school, have a relationship in a long time, manage my weight, or keep friends that haven't know me since before I started showing signs of being Bipolar. And if this is how it is with medication, something that is suppose to improve my life, what is it going to be like without it again. I know there were times when I was off medication and I ended up going back. But I can't remember why. I'm just wondering if anyone else has reach the "end of the line" with medication.

Comments (15) | Add comment

Cmefly

12/16/08 8:55pm

Have you ever tried talking to another professional about it? Practicing medicine is an art form. People are going to have different ideas.

Drew1k

12/17/08 10:55am

I think that will be my next course of action. Maybe try going without meds for a while and if I do feel like I'm slipping then contact someone. The reason why I have stayed with this doctor for so long is that it is difficult to find a doctor that is taking patients, has decent hours and is somewhat close by.

Erin

12/16/08 11:45pm

I see alot of anti-depressents listed and a few anti psychotics... but have there been any mood stabilizers? I've been on Lithium, lamotrigine... epival... I'm 10 months diagnosed and I'm on my first collapse of meds.

Drew1k

12/17/08 11:07am

I have been on Depakote for the last 3 years with varying dosages and taking it at all times of the day (I'm starting to wonder if Depakote is a cause of a lot of side effects). Have also tried lamictal for some time but I do not agree with it. I took seroquel for a period of time and it was horrible (I would black out for around 15 minute periods). Oh I have also been on Risperdal. She never recommended Lithium and I have been hesitant to ask. Knowing that there are stronger, more common side effects along with quarterly blood test and uncertainty about long metainence use.

I would trade the world of at least 6 months of constant sanity. That way I could finish classes. But right now I am hoping that I can make it through a semester (have a lot of drop outs and Fs on my record)

Erin

12/17/08 11:15am

Lithium does have horrible side effects. For the first 3 weeks I shook.. then 7 months later I have horrible acne.. more like scarring. But yet Li scares me the least. It is the only "natural" drug... being salt basically. I also read it coats neurons, so late in life brain disorders like alzheimers, the chances of getting them are lessoned.

Lamotrigine can cause fatal skin rashes. Epival (valproic acid) can cause deformed babies and weight gain, and liver problems.. another one that needs blood tests.

By the way I work in a lab and so this info isn't hard to access. yet it doesn't make me feel comfortable knowing some of these things.

Its hard to say to a shrink that you don't like them, or find one that is taking patients. Is there a mental health association that can help you find one?

Drew1k

12/17/08 11:39am

I usually do a lot of research of my medications and try to stay in the know of treatments for Bipolar Disorder. So I know a lot of the side effects and to watch out for them. I can go on my health insurer's website and search for doctors. My most current doctor was, I think, 40+ on the list. But I guess it is time. I know she is a crappy doctor; I think she tries to beat her time on how fast she can get me out of her office each month (think her current best is 3-4 minutes). She is also the 4th or so doctor I have seen in 5 years (been seeing her for 3) and non have been that great to begin with. Since Im in the depression phase the cymbalta should work great. I'm just worried when I get hypomanic how it will effect me. I probably do what I always do, try to ride out the depression as best as possible and get as much done during the manic phase to compisate.

BTW I really appreciate you listening and responding. Very few people I know truely understand what I am going through. They know I'm bipolar (which can be good and bad) but they don't really understand it. My room mate constantly asks me if he did something to piss me off and I have to explain to him that there isn't a reason I feel depressed or mad. He doesn't seem to be able to comprehend that.

Tom

12/17/08 11:44am

How long are you giving these medicines a chance?

If you are only trying them out for a few weeks, then you are not really giving them or yourself a chance.

You should only take Seroquel before you go to bed. I love the fact that it knocks me out...when I do not sleep, I get more manic. Taking Seroquel & then trying to function or drive a car is a definite no-no.

Lamictal did not work for me until they upped my dosage. I hate the sexual side effects, but it is something I have to live with.

You should probably try a new doctor if you have had the same one for a while. I drove across the state line (2 hours) to be with a Doctor with a good reputation.

Drew1k

12/17/08 11:48am

Most of the medication I have tried for at least a month and a half to two months. Most for 3-6, that tends to be the time when they stop working. After 6 months most of them seem to make matters worse.

I guess doctors are like medication, it is just trail and error. Try one out for a while, see if it works and move forward.

Drew1k

12/17/08 11:49am

I mean all the medications I try for at least a month and a half to two months.

Anonymous

12/17/08 10:02pm

Finding the right combo takes time,and if your Dr. is giving you the impression he is frustrated with you....maybe he's not the Dr. for you.

I have had to try many combo's too but keep the faith the right meds are out there for you.

take care,

River

Suzanne

12/27/08 4:30pm

I would definitely find another doc or I go to a psychiatric nurse practictioner who specializes in bipolar. In our state n.p.'s can prescribe meds. She spent an hour with me about every week or 2 weeks until I got the right combo of meds for me. I, too, had to go through a lot of side effects, but there are a lot of meds it seems that your doc has not tried for bipolar: Abilify & Geodon, for example & combos of meds, like I take Abiligy & Lamictal & Provigil. Then at night I have Klonopin & Trazodone.

But she spends at least 40 min. with me at my appts. (I go every 6 mos. when I'm going along smoothly & will make an appt. to see her if I start having trouble sleeping or start getting depressed) & she asks me all about how my life is going--relationships, how I spend my time, my self-esteem (not too good, but I am in individual therapy & DBT), etc.

You need someone who will work with you to get a good quality of life. I hope you will keep searching for that someone.

roger

3/24/09 1:00pm

Keep the Faith and Keep going.

Pilgrim

5/11/09 8:27pm

What State do you live in? We live in Northeastern PA and are looking for a good psychiatrist. We are willing to drive an hour or two.

Pilgrim for Serenity

sunnyday1982

3/25/09 12:54am

Maybe you need to try another doctor. It sounds like you've tried A LOT of different things and maybe it's the doc that's the problem and not the meds.....

Pilgrim

5/11/09 8:23pm

First of all, have you tried Risperdal? It is one of the only meds my daughter can take that works effectively over the years without "wearing out" after a few months.

Most don't work at all, or go the other way on her.

We are running out of meds to try, also.

Also, we have had ECT recommended for us to try. You might want to consider that.

It also sounds like you need a new doctor. I know they are hard to find.

It is easy to be discouraged. We are looking right now for a new doctor.

Hang in there,

Pilgrim for Serenity

Doctor told me I am on my last medication...

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