How do you get through to someone who repeatedly denies his hypomania/ mania, and won't accept it.

I can very much relate to where you are. The bottom line is that you cannot get through to him. He will need to get there himself. My husband is also in denial. It's taken a long time of arguing about it and trying to figure out different ways to approach him and every ounce of energy I have to get where I am now. I have decided to give the ultimatum. The one he always said he would only react one way to (leave me). Despite my fear of that threat I did it anyway. Seek treatment or I'm out. I love him very much, but won't sacrifice my own health in dealing with the stress anymore. I know how it is when things are level and everything feels like it's going to be OK and then BAM! where the hell did that attitude come from?? Anyway, my husband will do anything to keep me, so I am fortunate that albeit reluctantly he has agreed to see a psych and a counselor with me. I went as far as saying that just going wasn't going to be good enough and that I expect 100% committment to "us" getting better. Whatever that might mean. In my heart I know that it means he needs to get medicated and we probably need the therapy. What I have been told and have learned that hard way is that you have to be willing to let them leave. My husband accused me of not loving him, not caring, wanting out to go find someone "better." I stood my ground, but told him I loved him and hoped he would make the right choice. I have seen a positive difference. It has been only the last 4 days that we haven't been at each other's throats about it. I know I am distant to him from dealing with this for so many years so I am making more of an effort to reconnect with him. He is also making an effort, but unfortunately it will only last until the next episode....which is why he needs the help. I'm sure none of this is what you wanted to hear. If you truly love him, let him go. If he truly loves you, he will do whatever is necessary to make things right....or at least keep the door open to find a way to make it right. Don't get me wrong, my husband is still in complete denial, but his willingness to go get another diagnosis is progress in my eyes. Good luck to you. Stay strong and focus on what makes you happy. Too often the family/friends of a bipolar loved one end up trying to control what they can't. You have to let that part go. It is possible. Take care.

Jen