Please! I need help fast!!!

By karmas Wednesday, July 11, 2007

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My 29 year old nephew, who we believe has bipolar tried to kill himself yesterday. He has been separated from his wife and son for three months because he had been (and we suspect he still is) using meth. He's a Notre Dame graduate and has been a great kid until a couple of years ago.

We need to get him into a hospital to be diagnosed with whatever is going on with him and I know it well be against his will. We live in CA and as I understand it, if he is doing harm to himself or others he can be admitted against his will for 72 hours. When he went to the hospital yesterday, the doctor sent him home because he said he wouldn't do it again. In the meantime he has taken all his wife's personal belongings, such as her diploma from St. Mary's College in nursing, all her mother's pictures. Her mother commited suicide with she was 13. They are all ruined from the sprinklers. She is getting a restraining order to keep him from her and their son. He is losing it big time and now has locked himself up in his house.

I am really scared. My sister died four years ago and I have been their psuedo mom and I don't know what to do. Can we, his family, put his butt in a car and take him to a psych hospital, or do we call the police?

What should we do?

Kathy

I'm 57. Mom still has such an influence on my moods.

Comments (5) | Add comment

Margaret

7/12/07 1:35pm

For his sake and for the safety of the rest of the family, you need to get him to the ER, however that happens.

Explain the story to the ER docs and RN's. He should never have been sent home and if he is using drugs, he needs to be detoxed and treated for the bi-polar disorder.

I'm praying,

Margaret

karmas

7/12/07 1:50pm

Thanks for your reply. We are going to get him and drag him out of his locked up house and get him up here to stay with us. I have an appointment with my Pdoc tomorrow. If it looks like he can't make it that long we'll take him to the emergency room of a big hospital here in Fresno.

Leaving now,

Thanks again

magic

7/19/07 10:26am

Dear Karmas,

I just read your plea for help; what a tough, heart-breaking situation. I really hope everything worked itself out for your family.

My father has schizophrenia. When I lived in PA years ago (<<same laws then as CA now), my mother often had to "trick" my father into the hospital. He was a danger to both himself and to others, but he was also paranoid and hallucinating. A teenager then, I could never understand why the hospital wouldn't admit him. We had six kids in the family. Very scary stuff. Much love to you. **E

deborah

8/30/07 5:50pm

I live in MD and here if you take him to the Hosp. and telll them that he is a threat to himself, ie, suicide atemp they will put him in for at least an eval. good luck, and remember to take care of yourself!

Staying strong for Chloe

8/31/07 12:00am

My brother is bi polar as well as me.....he's never been diagonosed but he doesnt need to be because we are the same and i just know him.....he went to rehab didnt help, jail didnt help....etc. now i lost contact with him and dont know whats going on in his life....i did drugs too then had my daughter and turned my life around....i know that people who do drugs (or the ones i know anyway) do it because they arent happy (obviously) my brother joey did it because he thought he was worthless. He didnt think he was worth anything, thought he couldnt do anything right. Im not an expert but here is what i would do. (its going to be a bumpy road for you though) Take your nephew move him home with you not to rehab. Sad to say but you are going to have to babysit him for about 6 months. Have someone there with him so he doesnt sneak or try to do drugs. Find activities he is good at and has interest in so he stays occupied (a busy mind is a happy mind) have him help you with things and pretend that you wouldnt know what to do with out his help....try and make him feel needed and increase his self asteam. Get his son only, at first (he might have bitter feeling about his wife) and take your nephew and his son to the zoo or a movie or the park....if he's anything like me the longer he is away from him son the more erratic he'll become. TIme with his son will help him but you need to be there so that his wife will trust her son is okay. Here's the hardest part that i couldnt figure out how to do....don't smother him make sure your around so that you can make sure he's sober and safe but he might get sick of not having his own space. So youll have to leave him be too. Talk if he wants to talk but from my experiences nothing you say will really help. He has to battle with his own mind, when he decides he wants to fight it he will untill then i dont think that anything is going to help....im not an expert im just basing it off me as someone who has attempted sucide (my boyfriend caught me and shoved a pencil down my throat untill i vomitted up everything possible i ate for a week and saved my life) a person who delt with my brother having the same problems as your nephew except he wasnt married or had kids. So thats the best i can do i wish you the best of luck and take care of your self. Don't drag your self into depression from it. When i couldnt help joey i went down and down hard. You can only do what you can do then it's out of your hands stay strong and im here if ya need to talk

becky

Please! I need help fast!!!

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