I didn't spend the money!

By karmas Thursday, August 30, 2007

- A
- A
- A

I am very happy with myself right now. It's lasted almost a day. Here's why. I am almost always a little hypomanic along with varying degrees of depression all the time. When I'm hypo I spend money because there will be more in a couple of weeks. $20 dollars at the Dollar Store, $50 at Barnes & Noble on books I never read and my last binge was 4 pairs of Cole Haan shoes on ebay and the stretcher I needed so they would fit. They were a good deal! My justification is I'm going to sell my house and I'll have plenty of money coming in. (No one has even looked at my house in the month I've had the sign up.) Nevertheless, it will eventually sell. Here's the good and sad part:

My Grandchildren

I have a chance to fly to Dallas for $199 round trip (from Fresno CA). It is such a good deal, really good deal and I haven't seen my daughter and my grandchildren in a year in a half. I was in the middle of buying the ticket when my very well managed bipolar daughter called and asked if I had done a cash flow for my move next week and all the miscellaneous money that pops up at that time. I told her I was sure I'd have enough money.

She said I should do the cash flow first. I did. I didn't have the money to go to Dallas right now. But I could put it on the one credit card I have for emergencies. I had it in front of me, staring me in the face, the American Airlines window with an aisle seat online in one window and my online bank with what looked like enough money. And I didn't do it. I didn't go though with it. I closed the windows, closed my laptop, went into MY den and cried because I can't see my grandbabies and cried some more because I was responsible with my money. Breakthrough! Major! I like it and don't like it. Amazing the little things we call successes and others would say "Duh?"

My friend and family have reason to step in. Last time I sold my house I spent the $30,000 in six weeks. I had nothing left, not even food. So this is good. and sad.

Kathy

I think I'm getting better.

Comments (8) | Add comment

Staying strong for Chloe

8/30/07 11:37pm

I can definatly see where you are coming from i have exactly the same problem i will go for a long time to try and save money up and pinch dollars so that i can have a cusion in the back and then i go through an up period and go to walmart and buy stuff i really don't need to. For example i went into wal mart for just milk and eggs ( i hate it when im in the middle of cooking something that needs milk or eggs and you dont have enough to make it....it always happens lol) anyway i walked out yes with the milk and eggs but also with 80 dollars worth of stuff for my daughter....i see stuff i think she would like in the toy section and it's always on sale so i can't pass it up but she has so much stuff she doesn't need it....but i buy it anyway. Good for you on not putting it on the credit card though...sorry you can't see your grandkids though that must be tough on you stay strong....here's an idea i have done not to spend money....i set up a sperate saving account at a different bank then my other checking and saving account and i have so much of every paycheck go into it...only 20 bucks (im poor Big Smile

college kid) so that if i want to spend it i have to drive all the way to the bank and withdraw it and i feel so bad for doing it i leave it there

karmas

8/31/07 1:24am

Thanks for your Walmart story. I hardly hear of anyone who has a shopping problem. I keep saying I'm going to have my bank to set my daily limit to $50. I just havent done it yet. Maybe next week.

Magonolia, in Sedgewickville, Mo

8/31/07 10:53pm

Oh my word! Just about everyone in our support group has had a shopping problem..I think it is part of Bipolar but isn't in the DSM yet.. they should put it there.

Have you ever read Jamison's book

An Unquiet Mind ...

I could sware the women copied from my journal.. what is it about us and buying books. thank goodness I've found great salvation armys, local thrift shops and yard sales or estate auctions to support my book habit.

Hate ya didn't get to go see your family. I know how hard it is to live away.. My dad is dying of cancer in NC.. I'm in MO. I've seen him once in two years.. '

Bipolar/lost job/bankruptcy in that order..

Great job on not using the credit card!

I have done something similiar to others and got a seperate account that I keep limited funds available.. I also keep a big $100 dollar bill folded and hide in my wallet. (Don't ya'll rob me next time anyone meets me)

The reason I keep the $100 is because I once pawned a ring to buy milk, bread and cereal for me and the kids. After I finally got back on my feet I swore I'd never be that poor again. Now I know I can buy the soda, shirt, shoes, book or what ever but I also make a conscious decision not to break a hundred to do it.. You would be surprised how quick you can get to your plane ticket price when you start making the little things seem like a big expense and put that money in the other account..

It adds up.. Get a jar, a can, or an account whatever works for you not to touch it till you reach your goal. You can do it. You already proved you have the strength by not using the credit card.

You won the first battle.. It is ok to cry after such a struggle.. It is hard sometimes but just think of the big prize.

I saved for almost 9 months to go to the DBSA Florida conference - no credit card. Yeah I split expenses with a roommate but none the less I'm telling you it will work.

If I did it -you can too. Go ahead start today.. by the holidays or next spring you could be in Dallas with visiting maybe..

You have to want it - and you will be amazed how the coins start to add up and next thing you know you will have that ticket, just like I always replace my $100 as soon as I do decide to use it.. I don't beat myself over it..I just go right back to saving..

You did great! You are an inspiration not to have splurged on the ticket..

My daddy always said "It isn't really a deal if you have to borrow to pay for it" Cash - pays.

karmas

9/ 7/07 9:41pm

Thanks Maganolia, I started my jar of savings. It's a 3 gallon water bottle. I even put a dollar in to see if it might motivate me to remember how fast it can grow as long as I keep my rules: All metal money goes in the jug. Maybe my friends will throw a nickel or two in, HA!

-K

9/ 6/07 12:18pm

I just came across this website because I am having issues with my BP husband...read your story, and I am so proud of you!!!!!!!!!!

I don't have BP and I probably would have spent the money.....try to put the positive energy into creating a little bank (like an empty container) in which you can save money a little at a time until you can properly afford the trip to see your grandchildren....it will make your trip even more meaningful because you will feel that you earned it...rather than feeling guilty about the money spent. the only hard part..is not taking the money out...maybe if you put a picture of yur grandchildren on the bank, it will encourage you not to "borrow" from it during urges to spend unnecessarily.

Good luck....and dont let your Mom get you down....my mom can't ever compliment either....likes to point out all the negatives...Some mothers (like ours) have this great way of letting us know how much we need their opinions...wthout realizing that they are hurtful...and are better left unsaid.

Good luck and God bless!!!

karmas

9/ 7/07 9:46pm

Thanks for your response. I think you'll find a lot of great information here, but the people on this site are the best. I feel safe sharing here. As I mentioned in my previous response to Maganolia, I started a bank of sorts in a three gallon jug. All my change goes in it every day. I didn't think of the picture of my grandkids and now I'll add that as well.

--K

Magonolia, in Sedgewickville, Mo

9/ 8/07 5:30am

Grow jar Grow.. I can hardly wait to see the post in the coming months as you get ready for a great trip. I beat you are right - if ya friends know what the jar is for they might throw in a nickle or dime or a dollar or two...

Best of luck.. YOu are a shining example now... Pass it on...

I still bounce back and forth sometimes but overall I always go back to the savings and it will work - if you want it to work.. I think the idea of the grandkids on the jar is super idea.. or if someone is buying shoes put up pictures of shoes, if it is special gifts for the holidays wrap it with a festive bow, if someone has kids and it is for school supplies or a computer or something the kids want - have a time where it can be a family project - and teach the kids to save. You are never to old or never to young to learn how to budget for your dreams or wants. I"M SO PROUD OF YOU. If I was there I'd give ya a big hug and all the change out of my pocket. (which ain't much right now since I"m in my pajama's and hypomania is trying to kill me with little to now regular sleep.. two on two off. The last sleep aid I got - I slept some but also gained six pounds in one month.. Not good for someone who is already toooo chunky and overweight by 30 pounds.

Please keep us posted on the project and best of luck as you get ready to pay for your trip in CASH. don't forget to save a little extra for cab, luggage tip and airport food ect...

karmas

9/ 8/07 11:46pm

Thanks for the reminder about the extra money I'll need when I get there. I also want to bring them presents! I'll be able to report my project in inches and pictures because I'll never have the patience to take it out and count it. I'm very excited about saving money painlessly.

--K

I didn't spend the money!

Ask a Question