Well it's been well over a year since I've been with my BP ex, and 6 months since I've been "officially" single on paper. Even though I've been dating it's been just recently that I have met somone that I'm REALLY interested in. I've been taking my time with the whole dating thing over the past year and a half, and to be honest, I guess I really didn't WANT a relationship. I sorted through a lot of stuff that my BP ex put me and my family through. But now I think I'm ready for love again.
Problem is, I find myself scared. I'm very picky, and after what I was put thru I find I'm even MORE picky and careful with men. But this guy I've been seeing for 2 months is just wonderful. So caring, and thoughtful - I almost forgot what that felt like. I found myself trying to figure out what could be wrong with him at times, and now I think I'm just scared to commit. Scared of putting all my eggs in one basket again I guess.
Anyone else have comments on dating and moving on after loving someone with BP?
Thanks ;)
Yes, my bp husband left with the travel trailer on 7/31/08 but he left myself and two sons(not his) with several concerns and conversations. I had been so lonely while married to bp husband but once I started dating I was overly cautionous. I finally realized that I was emotionally unavailable. I took a "time out" from men and relationships and focused on ME. Yes, ME. With this roller coaster ride the last 6 1/2 years, something was mentally abused and left behind------ME. Don't get me wrong, I long for the time when the right guy will come along and love me for me but right now - I need to love me. The positive is that the bond between my two sons and me is greater than ever. To be able to laugh and smile is the ultimate. I have regained my power and it feels damm good. If the person you're dating loves you and understands you, they will give you a break and they will come back and you will be emotional available for them for all the right reasons! You're not alone girlfriend! The very best to you-Vicki
So many people leave their bipolar partners. If my boyfriend left me, I would want to end my life for a very long time. It would make me feel like living with the disease was not worth it for me, if it wasn't worth it for them. A lot of bipolar people deal with receiving neglect and abuse from their current partners due to their reaction to bipolar, especially after long periods of time. It seems a cycle when you factor in that many bipolar people had horribly abusive family lives and that their abuse affects others, of course, like their spouses often almost pushing them off an edge. But if that person can't break free from it (their frustration with the bipolar spouse) and choses to leave the relationship... How can I break free from it? How can the bipolar person ever feel like they can be okay?
And then I guess it goess most think that if you're not bipolar, why should you have to live with it? She's going to be miserable. You're not. So instead of taking a hit to improve her life, which is indeed a sacrifice, why not just leave her to someone else more up for the task? As if so many others will be.
It feels like bipolar is a death sentence relationship-wise. Am I completely off the mark?
Good luck in your new relationship. I'm sure you'll be very happy.
This is off topic from my initial I must admit I have seen a common thread through many of the caregivers I've talked to on here. It does seem VERY hard for BP's to carry out relationships to my knowledge. And you can't blame the caregiver. It's a hard hard road to lift someone out of their own personal hell day in and day out without anything in return.
I'm only speaking from my experience, but my BP ex turned his emotional roller-coaster on ME and was extremley emotionally and even sometimes slightly physically abusive. I had to get out. It was a roller coaster I refused to continue to ride. I have always been an optimistic, happy person. I went into that relationship not knowing he was BP, and it nearly killed my spirit and ruined my life. But I have also always been a strong person. When the caregiver gives, gives, gives and gets slapped in the face repeatedly in return, when do we start to live OUR lives, with people that give to US for a change?
This is off topic from my initial question, but I must admit I have seen a common thread through many of the caregivers I've talked to on here. It does seem VERY hard for BP's to carry out relationships to my knowledge. And you can't blame the caregiver. It's a hard hard road to lift someone out of their own personal hell day in and day out without anything in return.
I'm only speaking from my experience, but my BP ex turned his emotional roller-coaster on ME and was extremley emotionally and even sometimes slightly physically abusive. I had to get out. It was a roller coaster I refused to continue to ride. I have always been an optimistic, happy person. I went into that relationship not knowing he was BP, and it nearly killed my spirit and ruined my life. But I have also always been a strong person. We are not neglecting you. When the caregiver gives, gives, gives and gets slapped in the face repeatedly in return, when do we start to live OUR lives, with people that give to US for a change? I gave everything I could and for years felt alone! My ex also blamed me for the way he was feeling, instead of taking responsibility for his own illness... I guess that was easier. He was a sick, sick man. But each case is slightly different as is each person. So just take note sometimes about how you treat your boyfriend, and be greatful you have such a loving man. Good luck to you as well!