is there a medication out there that can fix me??

By Beach Bum Sunday, September 06, 2009

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i just began taking meds again 1 1/2 month ago for mi ultra rapid cycle bipolar- why do i not feel better? is any med ever going to work? why bother anymore- this has been a lifetime struggle and nobody is going down the path with me- (my husband tries but he does not get me really- and my 10 year old son is the only reason i am still here- he is a bright shining star in my gloom and misery)- does anyone else have similar issues? or the same type bipolar-i also have psychotic features, ocd, and anxiety disorder- any ideas on good med combos? i just cannot seem to find the right one and it is just like being tired and sad all the time- i live on an island and the beach is across st from my home- i should be the happiest person ever- why can't i get there-and is there any hope?

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Kad

9/ 6/09 4:09pm

It sounds like the same bipolar type I have, I didn't get psychotic symptoms till near the end of the last bout of it (thirties) everything else yes...like manias and depressions with crying (freaking) in the same day? Anyway I tried every mood stablizer out there I'm sure, and combo with anti-depressant...only Lithim settled me right down. No swings at all, no depression or mania at all, just normal. I can still cry if I really need to but it feels normal. I also take wellbutrin for anti-depressant (apparently the other ones aren't good for BP) and Clonazepam or Adivan for mini-panic attac which is rare and just feels like I can't catch my breath. You may have a hard time convincing a doc to do what you want though, with all their training you know? And Lithium makes you real sick in your stomach for a while but you get used to it and have to eat breakfast with it.

Beach Bum

9/ 6/09 4:21pm

hey-thanks for responding-i am on klonopin finally and my panic attacks are getting better- i used to take lithium and wellbutrin and i did for like 3 weeks and it seemed to be working, then i had a toxicity reaction to the lithium and they took me off- i have a new psych finally- and i am on disability, so i finally have ins.- for the last 15 years, i had no way to really try and stay on meds- this is my 1st official try- i go back next week-maybe will try lithium again- and do you get in the sun on lithium? i always heard you can't, and gong to the beach is the only thing that keeps me sane sometimes! oh- and yes- i cycle so rapidly i can be laughing one minute so happy and then upset crying 5 min. later, then irritable and mean to everyone a few min. later- i can cycle all day- i know i am hard to live with- been married 13 yrs is a miracle-but he does not know what to do for me-well have a great day-

Kad

9/ 6/09 5:20pm

Yes klonopin helps me with panic as well, but I get immune to it and need to try and take it sporatically. I've been toxic on Lith several times, not to the point of hospitalization but close, barfing, diarrhea and shaking. We lowered it a bit and went up more slowly, must have taken 6 months or more to find a stable dose. I can only tollerate 900mg carbonate, I'm a bit skinny tho if that makes any difference I don't know. Still now after 2 years I need to make sure I take my morning 300 with decent food or I will be nauseated, the bed ones don't matter. I tan in the summer lots, it's like California here. I can burn a bit but then I just use sunscreen if need be. If I am honest with myself the differnce is utterly amazing, I am like a different person. My husband says so too so he can't be making that up. Good luck!

Beach Bum

9/ 6/09 10:53pm

hey- thanks for your reply- it sounds like we do have similar types of bipolar, and both with panic attacks/anxiety- i am scared of lithium but at the same time i want to get the chance to feel good- i really never have, and i just feel like i am missing out on so much- i try to at least go walk on the beach once a day, but some days- a lot really, i cannot even do that- i am only 34 but i feel 60! i was on 900 mg lithium when i got toxic- but they were not checking my blood levels- so possibly it could have been prevented?- not sure, but it is encouraging to know it works for you- hope you stay well and i am hoping i will get there soon- nice to talk to you!

alxv

9/ 7/09 5:47am

I'm on my 1^st combo and it was going well, if I didn't decided to stop taking the Valproic Acid. But I'm taking it again for about a week now and I'm feeling better already maybe few more days and I will stop thinking about it. My doctor gave me Valproic Acid instead of lithium, it's not toxic and makes my mood swings go away, and with the 3 together I'm happy and "normal" again. I need to go to the doctor, but I can't go out yet I'm just waiting few more days to this one to kicks in and off I go... I'm taking *antidepressant (1 a day), *anti-psychotic (1/2 a day) and *Valproic acid (1 a day, although my doctor prescribed 2 a day)

Beach Bum

9/ 7/09 10:33am

hi- thanks for your comment- my dr. put me on stavzor-which is valproic acid- and i guess i am doing ok on it, its just that with my medicare ins, i will not be able to afford it next year- i am on a special help plan this year that i can't get again-i do not know what to do- just feels like i will never get there- and i know meds do not fix it all, but i feel i have no support at home- not that they do not sort of try, but they do not understand my mood swings and why i did not feel like getting off the couch that day to clean or cook- i go back to the dr. this week so hopefully we can figure out something- have a good holiday!

alxv

9/ 7/09 6:56am

Oops, I forgot to mention Lexotan for anxiety, which is very rare if I take my meds as I should.

Moodygirl

9/ 7/09 8:58pm

HI there, I feel your frustration with the medication musical chairs we go through. My psyc. luckily is and excellent doctor. I am on buspar for anxiety, very mild, lamictal for my mood stabilization and strattera for my ADD, quite the mix of anxiety, bipolar 2 and I feel like I am cycling more as I get older. Every month I go in and we tweek the meds,,and sometimes it feels like I am walking a tightrope, and I start feeling good and the rope moves again. But I keep trying because I deserve to live a functioning, healthy life as we all do. Any kind of exercise each day really helps me.ex walking, jogging ,biking,dancing ,anything where I am moving. Yoga helps with stress relief immensely!!Hope this helps! I want to be a beach bumm

Beach Bum

9/ 8/09 10:30am

hi, thanks for your comment- it is frustrating- i do not know how old you are, but i am 34 and i do seem to cycle more rapid every year- it has taken over my life to the point that i am on disability- which is good because at least now i have medicare and can get medication- i went for years without- but this is my first real try being able to stay on meds, so i am sort of at the beginning of the road again- i really like my psych, and i go back this week- hoping we can fine-tune some things and get me to a good place- i also try to walk on beach every day for exercise- i just do not have much energy- very hard to do much- i am going to join the y today and take some water aerobics and stretching classes- hopefully they will help boost energy/metabolism- good luck with yours, have a great day

susie q

10/ 8/09 9:36pm

i have been diagnosed with bi polar , depression and adhd, i take so many medications, i filed for disability over a year ago, however was denied, a am 40 with a 15 year old dght and 17 year old son,and just got married a year ago. I feel that in the last 3 weeks i have been getting worse,my full time job is so stressful for me, i just come hme and crawl in bed and do not feel like talking or dealing with anyone, it is not helping my relationship with my husband, it wants me to quit my job and go on short term disability and file for disability again , i already filed once, i have been seeing one of the top phyc. in this area for over 4 years now, i just want to feel normal and happy, i feel like the older i get the worse i am feeling with this mental disorder. I just dont know what to do?

Anonymous

9/ 8/09 11:54pm

After a slew of med cocktails for many years, I asked my pdoc if she didn't think the meds might be making me worse. She had no opinion. Finally one day I just looked at the handful of pills and said, no, I'm not doing this anymore. I weaned myself off of them and felt no difference. They hadn't prevented manics or depressions, and the depressions were getting worse and worse, and my anxiety and panic were intensifying. I put myself on St. John's wort and was amazed that the anxiety and depression all but disappeared in five days. I ordered some lithium orotate. I looked at the studies, side effects, and risks of these two substances and decided, what the hell, I couldn't be any worse off.And they look a lot safer than the med cocktails I've been on.

It's only been six weeks but they've been the best six weeks I've had in many years. If I forget to take them at night, I'm right back in hell. I wish pdocs would at least consider looking into these substances. I know mine would say I'm trying to be my own psychiatrist, that they haven't been studied enough, etc. But I also know how I feel now vs. how I felt under her professional care. So we'll see. But for the moment I have my mind back.

Beach Bum

9/ 9/09 8:24am

i know what you mean- i have tried many meds, but my problem also is that due to money issues and no ins, i was really never able to stay on them very long- so really i have been non -medicated most of my adult life, and it has resulted in several long stays at the mental hospital- i am glad you found something that seems to work for you- stick with it, i hope it keeps getting better- i have heard good things about st. john's wort, just be careful- i have heard they can interact badly with other psychotropic meds-thanks for your input and good luck!

Anonymous

9/ 9/09 2:42pm

Yes, well, the pdocs always tell you to be very careful about anything they don't prescribe, despite the fact that the stuff they do prescribe is fraught with dangers, that they have no real information themselves about the effects of combining the many meds they just keep adding on, until you're on eight meds and still unstable and miserable. And physically sick on top of it all. And unable to pay for it anyway. But stick to the professionals, by all means!

I have only one life I know about, after all. I'd been losing traction on life for years, and was really on the edge of losing the battle to stay alive when I finally said, let's see if I can do this myself. My psychiatrist had told me that she'd had me on everything, in every combination, and suggested clinical trials. So I called the hospital about those trials and found that they were studying the effects of combining meds I'd already been on, and said no thank you. It's not as if they have anything new out there, or any likelihood of anything new in the near future.

So far, I've been able to regain my brain for under $20 a month. Even if complications come down the road, I'd give a kidney away for that time. As for the dangers the doctors warn us about, the dangers of non-pharmaceuticals are pumped up ridiculously, compared to the indifference given to the real dangers of pharmaceuticals.

Look. Lithium orotate works for me, but the lithium preparations prescribed by pdocs are toxic. St. John's wort works for me. Neither has ever caused a death or even a serious illness. Not so for the psych meds. At a certain point, I had to decide. Continue to live in agony and be a "good," compliant patient, or take the matter in my own hands. If the pdocs won't take alternative therapies into consideration, I have to. Because believe me, I was dying.

tabby

9/10/09 8:58pm

St John's Wort caused chest pain in me when I took it years ago and I had to stop it.

Everyone is welcomed to make their own decisions as to what they feel helps them. If you feel that going the alternative supplement route was your best decision, and it is helping you, then all the power to you and I hope that it continues to work well for you.

Still, St. John's Wort and many other supplements do not mesh well with other pharmaceutical medications, over the counter medications, or even other supplements.

The suggestion is to just please be careful when you consume these and if you should mix these alternative supplements with other substances.

Beach Bum

9/10/09 9:30pm

i am sticking to what my psychiatrist gives me because i finally have medicare and can make a go of finding the right mix- there are side effects with any med out there, psychiatric or not, but at least prescribed meds are regulated by the fda, but herbal remedies are not- but, like you said, whatever works for someone is what they should do-it is all about trying to feel better!

is there a medication out there that can fix me??

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