Does anyone find that having this disorder causes them to be more self-absorbed, self conscience? Do you find that you worry what others opinions are of you too much? I find I live too conscientious of the world around me instead of being happy with myself, in myself. I wonder if this is bipolar or a disfunctional upbringing with an emphasis on activities that elicit public, peer applause as a child and teenager.



Its more of a personality trait, that might could be related to the illness coupled with anxiety or as you put it a dysfunctional upbringing. As far as I am concerned, it really does not matter where it’s coming from, only that it can be changed if you so choose.
I find too many people focus on the past and tend to blame everything bad going on in their lives to a particular event in their past... “My father looked cross-eyed at me when I was 11”. This has to be the coddled generation in that we now have a mental illness for everyone and everything to blame things on so that we do not have to carry the burden of any wrongdoings in our lives today. What also goes along with this concept is that nothing will change because we have now taken it out of our control.
How can that be? If you are unwilling to accept that you are the way you are because of what you are doing today…brace yourself for more of the same. If you step up to the plate and accept responsibility for things, now you have control to change them. It is not easy but the rewards are great. The past cannot hurt you today unless you allow it too…it is the past so why not finally lay it too rest and move forward.
Life is short so make the best of it today. In your case, I would look at what is going on around you that has you nervous. Most times when I hear someone say what you just did, I find that the real issue is self-confidence. Our self-confidence can be easily shattered after an episode of depression or mania. Cut yourself some slack and do not look back. If you were confident, you would not worry so much about what others think and would be more focused on how you feel about it.