Gripe, Gripe, Gripe-that's a funny word, isn't it?

By Stardust Wednesday, January 02, 2008

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I'm just disappointed in myself for already breaking my New Year's resolutions. I'm not going to give up or anything like that. Gonna have to do the baby step thing. I just wanted to control my bipolar this year, starting with the ever important daily routine. Sleeping the same hours, eating 3 meals and exercising. I rebelled and didn't eat yesterday and didn't exercise. Plus I woke up 2 hours early. I guess change really scares me. I did pray for strength and willingness to change. I've been a passive bystander for 25 or so years, going wherever my bipolar lead me. So my expectation of changing over-night is a teeny weeny bit unrealistic. I just needed to get this off my chest. Thanks for reading (or not). Ruthie. Tongue

A Different Experience

Comments (10) | Add comment

rayssemi

1/ 2/08 12:50pm

Ruthie-

Dear heart- Life is a tangled web you cannot undo overnight. Realizing you cannot do it all at once is a MAJOR step. Choose one thing to focus on. Try to do a little of the other things. Those are your baby steps. You haven't failed by any means. I am proud of you for trying at all. Knowing what needs to change is the first step you took. See you are already doing it. You just have to practice to perfect it. I have faith in you. I tell you what- I will keep my mood journal I have been fighting for 4 years now. I even printed a chart. We can do this. Smile for me and I will smile for you. Just keep shining in that sky!

Stardust

1/ 2/08 12:58pm

Thanks for the wisdom, I really appreciate it hon. I'm smilin' Big Grin

Hopeful mom

1/ 2/08 8:11pm

Life changes are kind of like dieting. You mess up and eat a whole cake. You could just say "the heck with it I blew it", or you could start again tomorrow.

Life is like that. We plan to do things we don't always do, but if we just start again the next day, it's all good.

Stardust

1/ 2/08 9:19pm

Thanks, mom. I didn't do any better today, but I will!

Stardust

1/ 2/08 9:22pm

I guess I got my days mixed up again Tongue

Hopeful mom

1/ 2/08 9:44pm

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow, you're always a day away.

Just kiddin hun. Maybe you should start with small changes first and work your way up. You can do this. :)

Mercurial Enigma

1/ 4/08 9:53pm

Hi Stardust,

I dont know if you have written down your goals for this year or not and thats partly why your feeling so bad?

However I found that goals caused me to put out so much emotional effort that I would crash and burn after a while. I simply could not keep up the effort it took me to keep putting out so much emotional effort. I'm a perfectionist so whatever I put my mind to achieve becomes an obssession and therefore I put out 110% trying to accomplish it. Only to fall in a heap on too many occasions, leaving me dissapointed and despairing.

After some heartache over many years I discovered a few years ago that reasons worked better for me. I find that if I write down my reasons for doing something, and for not doing something, things happen for me much better.

I got to the point where I stopped writing down my goals altogether. Goals and emotion are important but I found 'reasons' are even more so for me. Most of us know what the goal is we just need the vehicle to get there, which for me is reasons.

Peter

Stardust

1/ 5/08 6:10am

Thanks for your comment Peter. I simply want to eat, sleep and exercise daily so I can get a handle on my bipolar symptoms. I still haven't succeeded, so I am going to focus on one thing at a time. Eating is #1 because it messes up my meds when I go for days without eating. Once I get that down, I'll go for regular sleep leaving exercising for last. I just had an attitude when I wrote this post. Thank you for your suggestions and support.

Anonymous

1/ 6/08 3:25pm

Think of it this way - you still have 98% of 2008 to adhere to your initial goals. Good luck!

Stardust

1/ 6/08 3:47pm

Gripe, Gripe, Gripe-that's a funny word, isn't it?

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